The Lesser
by IBACULLEN
Summary: Edward's been taken. Bella is about to have her baby. With the lessers revolting and holding the power in the North, Bella realizes that no one is going to save her. When she learns of Edward's whereabouts, she decides that she can no longer wait around. It will be up to Bella to save Edward. Set in a futuristic alternate reality. AH HEA READ THE LOSER FIRST
1. Chapter 1

When we were children, Edward would play me songs from his favorite artists. His walls had been papered with their pictures. I had thought he played them so often because he had hoped I would love them, too. I would never forget this one song he had played for me. The girl's voice was haunting. Her words; disturbing. Almost as if she was giving us a warning.

_God save us everyone_

_Will we burn_

_Inside the fires _

_Of a thousand suns_

_For the sins of hand_

_The sins of our tongue_

_The sins of our father_

_The sins of our young_

_God save us everyone_

_Will we burn_

_inside the fire_

_Of a thousand suns._

_For the sins of hand_

_The sins of our tongue_

_The sins of our father_

_The sins of our young_

I guessed we should have listened more closely…

**CHAPTER ONE**

**The End**

The sweat on my brow was great, but I didn't stop until that damn stubborn weed was out of my garden. For the month of May, I was not happy the sun's heat was so prevalent. Where were my easy breezy days I had come to depend on? So much had changed. Even the weather had taken note of our situation and decided to turn on us, too.

My back ached, and it didn't help matters that I was the size of a house, situated on my hands and knees, elbows deep in the dirt. I looked up at the roses that surrounded me and took a short minute to marvel at their beauty. I heard the back door open, and I returned to digging. I wanted to have this patch finished by sundown.

"Bella, that's enough. You need to stop. Tending the gardens is a lesser's job."

I laughed and looked up to Esme, who had her hands on her hips, as she pretended to have authority over me.

"Look around, Esme. There are no more lessers. No more hierarchy. You're a prisoner in your own home. We're all prisoners. Just because we're allowed to stay here doesn't mean we aren't. And I'm not going to sit in that house, wondering what happened to Edward. I'd go out of my mind. Leave me be. I need to focus on my roses."

My trowel stabbed the ground once more, and I finally freed up the weed that had taken too much of my time. I threw it towards the pile and carried on to the next patch.

These were the roses that had captured mine and Edward's first kiss. It would be a sin to see them taken over by the weeds. I felt helpless in our situation, but this was something I could do. Focus on the weeds. I had hoped being outside with the simple nature would keep me from thinking about him. I was wrong. My mind would playback the events that had happened over and over, hoping to find the opportunity to change the past.

Emily had rescued me from the fire. I had watched helplessly, as Edward's grandfather's house had gone up in flames. No more gaudy vases. No more painted portraits. No more Edward, as Emily told me the Resistance had captured him.

She had begged me to move. To keep running. To get away, but I couldn't move. My whole life had felt as if it was coming to an end, and no amount of running would save me. The fire had heated up my face, even though I had been far enough from the flames. I had wondered if the house would eventually succumb to the flames and completely cave in, or if it would blow up, as I had seen happen in the movies before.

Emily was gone. Choosing to run and save herself, she was no longer by my side. Good, I had thought, she shouldn't wait for the flames to come for her, too. But the fire never touched me. Never even came close. A tall man had walked towards me with his long rifle pointed in my direction. He had been dressed in all black, complete with a helmet on top of his head. He had reached for his radio and told someone he had found a girl.

"Are you Isabella Swan?"

I didn't reply. I simply turned my head back to the fire and waited.

That had been the first time I could have escaped.

After the guard from the Resistance had brought me around to the front of the house, I could see nearly a whole army situated outside, watching the fire as I had done. The guard had poked me in the back with his gun, pressing me to keep walking, until I reached his commanding officer.

"Is this her?"

"I dunno. She hasn't said a word. She was just standing behind the house, staring at the fire."

The officer in charge had flipped through the papers on the clipboard he was holding and then looked back at me.

"It says here she's pregnant. So, take it easy with her and get her ready for transport. She's going to the Cullen Estate."

Once again, the gun had tapped me on the back, but the officer with the clipboard waved my aggressor off.

"She's pregnant. Be nice, Felix."

"She's still one of them, ain't she?" Felix replied.

"Our orders were to apprehend the male and take the girl to the Cullen Estate. I don't think our leader will be happy if he finds out your trigger finger accidentally took out a pregnant girl."

Instead of being tapped in the back with a gun, my arm had been grabbed roughly, as Felix pulled me along towards the Humvee. I had been taken to the Cullen Estate. Completely silent the whole ride, as I waited for answers from Carlisle and Esme, but I had only found more questions…

That had been six weeks ago. Six long weeks, with no word on where Edward was. Was he safe? Alive? Dead? My hand began to shake with my trowel, as I contemplated whether he was still alive.

"Bella, please, come in."

This time, it was Alice. It must have taken a lot for Esme to send Alice out after me. Alice, in some ways, was far worse than I was. Jasper happened to have been down south at the time of the siege. Now, Alice was stuck here with us, while her fiancé was safe. Apparently, the Resistance hadn't been able to breach the southern states. Mainly because the south held all the military power. Alice believed Jasper would find a way to rescue us. She spent her days sitting and staring at the floor, while she waited to be rescued.

"This isn't safe for the baby. Please, come inside. I'm losing it, Bella. I'm starting to wonder if Jasper will ever come for me."

I stopped what I was doing and looked up to her.

"Of course, he's coming for you. Don't ever give up that hope. Jasper loves you. He'll rescue you."

Sometimes, Alice annoyed me with her constant sadness over Jasper, but I think I was more annoyed because I knew no one would be coming to rescue me. I loved Alice. She needed me now more than ever. If I was to be honest, the reason I spent my time outdoors was because I couldn't stand hearing all the moaning and complaining coming from all the inhabitants of the house.

When the Resistance came into power in the North, it seemed as if all the men had been taken. To where? God only knew. The women, however, were condensed, so they would be easier to guard. Since I had arrived at the house, it seemed as if, every few days, another girl would show up on our doorstep, being escorted in by an armed guard.

Felix stayed inside the house and switched off with another guard they called Demetri. There were also more guards around the perimeter, in case we found the opportunity to run. So far, there hadn't been an opportunity to run.

Our lessers no longer worked in the house, which meant all the chores went to us. Could you imagine the pain, when you had a whole household of woman who didn't know how to cook a decent meal or run a laundry machine? Thankfully, I had been taught such things, thanks to our Mrs. Cope. However, since I was so very pregnant, the other people in the house could only depend upon me so much.

When we would need supplies, basic food and necessities, Felix was in charge of ordering for us. No longer did we have access to order as we pleased. Also, we were rationed, so there was no occasion for wastefulness.

Alice helped me up from off the ground, and I tossed my trowel back down and sighed. I guessed I wouldn't finish this patch today after all. The baby began to kick quite feverishly, probably just waking up once again. I felt a sharp pain to my stomach, and I nearly doubled over.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

I squeezed Alice's hand, but the pain passed, and once again, I was able to stand up straight.

"I'm fine."

"You most certainly are not fine. You need to rest, Bella. This baby is coming any day now. Do you want to give birth in the garden?"

I shrugged. It might have been preferable than most places. We still hadn't learned if they were going to allow me to go to the hospital. The rose garden might just be a lovely alternative.

Alice pulled me along towards the house, threatening to tie me down to the bed if I insisted on coming back out. I would admit, the air-conditioning from the house was a welcome relief. However, the minute I saw Rosalie standing in our kitchen, I nearly wanted to retreat for self-preservation reasons. Rosalie was a Hale, in a time when that had meant something. She had married Emmett, who was a McCarty. The love of her life had disappeared into the night, too, so I tried to be understanding, but like Esme, she was still living under this belief that the system was intact, and therefore, she still had status.

Rosalie didn't know how to do a thing, so she would often try and trick me into doing things for her. She had been the first to arrive after Alice and I had been placed here. She had attempted to take Edward's room, but I had nearly scratched her eyes out at her audacity. If anyone would be staying in Edward's room, I would think his child had a higher claim.

"God, Bella. You look like something a lesser dragged in."

"Rosalie. Don't start," Alice warned.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and gracefully flopped herself down on a stool.

"Felix said our weekly shipment should be here any minute. I hope he finally took me seriously with my requests. I mean, it's bad enough they're holding us captive. Prisoners of war or whatever, but what does a lady have to do to get a decent night cream around here? You'd think, when this unpleasantness is over, they'd want the ladies to look decent."

I sighed and gave her a discerning eye. "Yes, night cream would be far more important than enough food rations to actually feed us all or a more generous water supply."

Between limited rations and all the hard labor I had been doing for the past six weeks, I had shrunk substantially inside my clothing, except for my breasts and stomach, which had only continued to increase in size. I just hoped my baby would be born healthy.

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at my tone and huffed, getting up from her seat. She walked out of the kitchen, demanding someone come get her when our supplies were in. Alice left, too, stating she was going to write another letter to Jasper. She hoped if she wrote enough letters, maybe someday, she could get one to him.

I sat down on the stool, my back thanking me. I should have washed my hands before I sat, but now, the sink looked a mile away. I saw Rosalie's shawl lying where she had left it, and I reached out and wiped my brow with it, the light pink color damaged from my dirty, sweaty face and hands.

"Good afternoon."

Nearly too quickly, my whole body whipped around to the voice I remembered from once upon a time. I almost fell off my stool, but Emily's hands were quick to steady me.

"Oh my. Look at you. You must be ready to pop at any moment." Emily's hands caressed my round stomach, but I began to cry at the sight of her. I threw my arms around her and gave her a hug. Remembering how I must have smelled and how dirty I was from gardening, I immediately let go and apologized.

"Are you okay? Did they find you that night?"

I noticed she wasn't wearing her usual uniform, and yet, she was here to drop off our supplies. Near the door was a cart of bags.

"I'm fine, Bella. You have no idea what I had to do to be allowed to drop this off to you. I wanted to know you were okay. Of course, I heard reports that you were, but I needed to see for myself. You're probably due any day now, right?"

I nodded. "I still don't know if they'll allow me to go to the hospital or bring a doctor in here. Our situation is precarious, as you can imagine. Have you had any access to the outside world? Do you know what's been going on? We can only get a line or two out of Felix, and usually, it's only when the Resistance is doing well, and he's celebrating."

"Yes, actually, the lessers have been free to go and come as they please. They have access to all areas, except ones like these. We have more freedom than we've ever had before. From what I know, the Resistance is moving southward, but they've still not been very successful with taking the south." She placed her hand on mine and stepped closer, "When you go into labor, tell them your family has a history of complications. They'll get you to the hospital. They won't want to risk something happening to you. They're under strict orders to not hurt you."

"Why me?" I asked.

Emily shook her head slightly, "I can't tell you. I shouldn't have said as much as I have."

She wouldn't tell me, but she knew. What did she know? She knew a lot more than she let on, but I had more things I needed to try and press her for before she left.

"Have you heard anything? Heard where they've taken Edward? Carlisle? Do you know where they're keeping them?"

Emily looked behind her. Her eyes were full of worry. She knew.

"Bella," she said, fearful. "Please."

"No! Please, Emily! I must know. Did they kill him? Is he hurt? I know it doesn't make any sense, but this is the father of my child. Please. If you know something, you have to tell me."

Emily's hands squeezed mine, and she looked down and contemplated whether she would give me the information I sought.

"Carlisle is at the hospital. He was too valuable. They knew his knowledge and skills would be useful. They're keeping him there."

I breathed a small sigh of relief, but I could tell from the look Emily was giving me that she didn't have better news of Edward's whereabouts.

"And Edward?"

Once again, she shook her head.

"I can't. You don't understand. They don't want anyone knowing…"

"I was kind to you, Emily. I never mistreated you. I need this one thing from you. Please, tell me where they took Edward. Please!" I begged. My hands were practically grabbing her clothing, hoping she would give me this one thing.

"You couldn't do anything about it, even if I told you. It's better this way."

"How is it better? Do you think it'd be better if you were in my place and Sam was in Edward's? Wouldn't you want to know? Do anything you could? I know it doesn't make any sense. You, above all people, saw the problems in our relationship, but I love Edward. I have to know."

My hold on her tightened, my lips trembling with silent, pathetic prayers for her help.

"Back off her, right now!"

Felix had his gun pointed directly at me, and I instantly let go of Emily's clothing and took a step back.

Emily held out her hand to Felix. "She's fine. It's okay, Felix. Miss Swan won't hurt me."

"I think it's time for you to leave, Mrs. Uley. Your requests have been granted, and now, it's best if you go," Felix said, lowering his weapon.

Emily looked over to me one more time, and my eyes swam with pleas I hoped she would give in to. She stepped forward and placed her arms around my neck and brought me in for a hug.

"Please, take care of yourself, Bella."

I didn't want to wrap my arms around her for fear Felix would think my gesture was threatening. But at the last second, Emily's mouth reached up to kiss my cheek near my ear, and she whispered, "The white ward."

She let go of me and walked out with Felix, leaving my body in shock at her parting words. I began to cry, but then I shook it off immediately. This was something I must carry on myself. I couldn't let Esme or Alice know, or it might send them into a frenzy. I choked back the tears and squeezed my eyes shut until the wave of emotion passed.

He was alive. At least he was alive.

Every time I wanted to breakdown, I reminded myself of this simple truth. Edward was alive.

I didn't know too much about the white ward. Mostly, what I knew was from stories my parents had told to keep us in line. Some said it was an inch deeper than the pits of hell. It wasn't like the old-fashioned prisons, where people sat around in tiny boxes and ate substandard food. When the new government came into power, they found there was a much better way of dealing with the criminal element. Once a person was sent to the white ward, you'd never hear from them again. This kind of fear was enough to keep a person honest.

I put my mind to better use, emptying out all the bags Emily had carted in. Rosalie's night cream wasn't amongst the necessities. Surprise. Surprise.

When I was about done with putting away the items, Esme walked back in to find me staring into the refrigerator.

"Bella? You haven't gone to wash up yet? Shouldn't you go? All these germs aren't good for the baby."

I sighed and closed the refrigerator.

"I will. I'm just…having a moment."

Esme nodded, but I could see how broken she was. She needed to hear some positive news. I walked over towards the island and leaned against the cool granite top.

"Esme. Emily came here today to do our drop-off. She was the one who worked at mine and Edward's house. She helped get me out…that night." I paused and placed my hands on hers. "She said Carlisle is being kept at the hospital. He's still alive, Esme. He's alive. He was too valuable, so they're keeping him there."

I saw her breathe out a sigh of relief, and a smile I hadn't witnessed for many months shined brightly upon her face. She looked down for a moment, and when she looked back up, her cheeks were stained with tears.

"Thank you, Bella," she replied, trembling. "He's alive. Oh, god. He's alive."

She sniffled and composed herself before asking about Edward. I didn't want to tell her, because I knew the news about Edward would not be comforting.

"She said she'll try and find out. Hopefully, we can both have positive news the next time she comes."

Even though I was dirty, Esme walked around and brought me in for a hug.

"Let's get you upstairs and into a bath. Edward will want to know his child is born healthy once he comes back, yes?"

I agreed and went with her. My bath, however, was not relaxing, even if it did cleanse me. I'd never needed a warm bath more in my life. Something to help soothe me and calm me. My mind ran wild with the tortures that possibly took place in the white ward. I felt like a hypocrite. I begged Emily to tell me where Edward was. She had told me I didn't want to know, but I had managed to get her to tell me. Surely Rosalie, Esme, and Alice would want to know where Edward was. Well, Rosalie might not care, but I had to wonder…if they had taken Edward to the white ward, they most certainly had taken the other high-class men there, too. It wasn't fair that I held this knowledge and decided my housemates were better off not knowing.

After my bath, I retired to bed without going down for supper. I needed a night with this news before I could face the rest of the household. My baby boy seemed to be kicking up a storm, guaranteeing I didn't get any rest that night. I used the time to think about moments with Edward. Everything from childhood memories to the very last time I had seen him. All our problems in the past seemed so trivial now. Words he had said to James, I nearly wanted to laugh at how upset I had gotten over something so silly, when I was now facing the chance I might never see Edward again.

The next day, I went down to breakfast and found Alice sitting at the table by the window, probably writing another letter to Jasper. It had been six weeks, and I could see how her light had started to fade. When we all had first arrived at the house, she had been adamant Jasper would come. She had figured he would be here in days. Days turned into weeks, and now, I could tell she wondered if Jasper ever really loved her.

"He's coming, Alice. Please, don't give up," I said, squeezing her hand. She looked up at me with watery eyes, and a tear escaped and fell down to drop on her paper.

"I wrote this letter today. I wrote it for you, Bella. Will you keep it on you and promise me, when they take you to the hospital, you'll try and find someone who'll deliver it?" She pulled out a ring from her pocket and handed it to me. "Use this to bribe them."

"Alice, that's your engagement ring. You can't."

She shook her head and held back her cries.

"I don't have anything else. All my jewelry was left at the house, and they burned it down. This is all I have left, and if it'll get this letter to Jasper, then I don't care. They can take it. This is my only chance."

Desperation was beginning to set in. This wasn't good. I worried about what would happen if I was unsuccessful in finding someone who would do as she asked. I took the ring, but I worried it wouldn't be enough.

I sat down and looked across the table at my friend. My once vivacious, kind friend, who would wear an obscenely large bow on her head. She was so innocent. So much more than I. It had been a few weeks since we had been put in this position, and yet, Alice seemed to have aged overnight. I looked to my left and saw Esme sipping her coffee while playing with her wedding ring. She now had hope, but even the little my words had bought wouldn't last long. Rosalie nibbled at her fruit cup in silence, Emmett no doubt on her mind as well. All these women had once been strong because of their position in this society, yet now, a good gust of wind would send them over, since their men were no longer there to catch them.

In some ways, I was annoyed by their frailty, and yet, look at me. I knew where Edward was, yet still, I waited. Waited for what? Waited for this baby to come? Like that would change my situation. Waited for this war to end and for things to hopefully go back to normal?

Alice was waiting for her fiancé to come for her. Esme and Rosalie waited for their men to return home to them. I wasn't good at waiting. I didn't have the patience for it. I was not going to wait around in hopes that Edward would come for me. Screw that!

Edward was in the white ward. I wasn't sure how, exactly, I would find him, but one thing was for sure.

I was done waiting.

* * *

**LYRICS BY LINKIN PARK**

**AN: Let me know what you think...**

**Thank you to all those who have chosen to continue on with this story. I hope to not disappoint.**

**Thank you to Fran and Dollybigmomma for editing this!**

**Story is mine. Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

**The Curtain Call**

After I decided I would try and find a way to rescue Edward from the white ward, every plan I had was swiftly denied. Instead of gardening, I would go to take walks around the property. I wanted to see just how many guards they had and if there were any holes in their defenses. When I would get caught, I would tell them I was walking because it helped bring on labor. However, it seemed from all my surveillance that trying to escape our compound was not an option, which meant my best chance to escape would be when I was sent to the hospital.

So, I now waited impatiently for this baby to make an appearance. The pressure I felt when I would walk even a couple of feet was beginning to wear on me. I couldn't imagine I would have very long now. Esme had chosen to place her focus on me rather than her husband. She would accompany me on my walks, never knowing I was using that time to take mental notes of everything I saw and heard. Every detail was important. You never knew when something would come up, and I needed to know even the smallest thing that could save me when I finally did escape.

Esme helped me back into the house to find a seat in the living room, where we came face to face with our next challenge. Demetri stood with our newest houseguests. I suddenly felt the need to vomit, even though the nausea had passed since the second trimester.

"Erica. Tanya. What are you doing here?" Esme asked.

The Denali's had come to the Cullen Estate.

"Apparently, we're being detained here for the time being. I'm going to need my bag taken up to my suite and a gin and tonic as soon as possible," Mrs. Denali stated.

I snorted and gave Esme a look.

"Well, Erica, now that we no longer have lessers, I'm afraid you'll have to take your own bag upstairs, and since we're short on rooms, we no longer have any suites available. You can take your pick of the guestrooms on the right side of the hallway," Esme explained.

"Just not the room at the end of the hallway. That's my room," I added.

Erica looked down at me in disgust and replied, "You're the girl who's carrying Edward's illegitimate child. I thought you were a lesser, since you never married into the family officially."

Esme stepped in front of me, thankfully blocking me from trying to get up and start a fight.

"Bella is one of ours. Even if the papers hadn't been signed, she'd still be one of ours. Do not come in here and try to find a pedestal to sit upon. In this house, you're still lower than us. Don't forget your place, or we'll make your stay here most uncomfortable. Now, please, go upstairs, and we'll summon you when dinner is ready."

Esme was the kind of woman I looked up to. If this baby had been a girl, I would be inclined to name her after Esme. Mrs. Denali reached out to her daughter and thrust her bag into Tanya's arms, before barking orders at the girl to follow along after. We could hear her telling Tanya that she needed to find her a drink asap. I was amused when I thought about Tanya searching high and low for alcohol we no longer had. The first week Felix and Demetri had been here, they had drunk our whole supply.

It seemed times at the house were about to get a lot more frustrating. It was one thing to deal with Rosalie, but to have to deal with Tanya Denali and her mother, I might start jumping up and down to motivate this baby to relocate quickly.

I didn't know if it was the stress of the afternoon or the silent prayers I had said, but as dinner was being put on the table, I felt a horrible pain that nearly landed me on the floor. Alice and Esme dropped what they were doing and came over to take my hands.

"Breathe, Bella. Focus on your breathing," Esme said.

"Go and tell Felix it's time!" Alice shouted at Rosalie.

They brought me over to a chair, but the pain had let up, so I released their hands.

"I'm feeling better. It was probably just a one-off."

Esme sat down next to me. "Well, we're going to wait and see if it happens again. If it does, then we'll know it was a contraction, and if we time it, we'll know how quickly your labor might go. We should still have a car on standby, just in case," Esme said.

We waited on the couch, and just as Rosalie walked back in with Felix, I felt another pain. I growled, trying to keep it in, embarrassed I wasn't stronger for handling it better.

"It's okay, Bella. You're doing good!" Alice supported.

"She needs to get to the hospital. That was only five minutes. Call someone, now!" Esme demanded.

Felix got on his radio and called someone. He walked away, giving out the details, as we waited for the contraction to pass.

"Bella, you have my letter and ring, right?"

I nodded, as I focused on my breathing to get me through.

"I'm going to come with you, okay?" Esme said.

I felt relief that I wouldn't be alone. When I had decided to let Edward back into the house, a couple of times, I had imagined this moment, and I had decided to allow him to be with me. I fought back tears, knowing he wouldn't be here to witness the birth of his son.

"Okay, let's move her," Felix said, walking back in.

Esme and Alice helped me off the couch. We only had a short window to get to the car, before another contraction would hit. I waddled through the house and towards the door. When we got outside, there was a black SUV waiting. Esme helped me into the car, but when she went to get in after me, Felix stopped her.

"I'm going with her."

"I can't allow that. You have to stay here."

"No!" I cried. "Please."

"You can't force her to give birth by herself. Be humane. She's just a child," Esme reasoned.

"Be humane? Don't you dare try asking me to be humane, when all your people did was suppress my people for decades. Back off from the car, now!" Felix readied his gun, and Esme did as she was told.

"Please, tell him I love him. Please, Bella!"

I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to keep it together, but Esme's pleas rang out in my head. She had hoped that, by coming with me, she might have gotten a moment with her husband. I had wanted to give her that moment.

The car door shut, as we drove off towards the hospital. The realization was setting in. I was going to give birth all alone. No Edward. No Esme. No one there to support me at the scariest moment of my life. The contractions came, and yes, they did hurt, but my very being hurt more. I was all alone in the world.

The car pulled up to the hospital, and it still looked the way I remembered. It had been so long since I had been here, and yet, I remembered every detail. The only thing different was, the grounds were crawling with men dressed head to toe in black gear. More officers and guards of the Resistance.

I hoped Sam would be on staff tonight. I needed one friendly face with me. However, for all the hours I had spent volunteering here, I had a difficult time finding even one person I knew. I wondered, with the takeover, if the lessers were moving on from their jobs. Emily had said they were given more freedoms. Maybe some took that as an opportunity to find a different job or life.

"My family has a history of complications. Can you please find a doctor to tend to me?" I asked the nurse.

She looked me over and then glanced at the monitors they had set me up on, before leaving me without giving me an answer. My head flopped back on the pillow in frustration. The nurse, when she had checked me, didn't even tell me how far dilated I was. I wanted to break down and cry, and yet, something inside me at this particular moment told me to stop. _Stop being weak, Bella_. _How can someone who's weak rescue Edward?_ I no longer had the luxury of being upset.

The next contraction came, as I grabbed my pillow, and with all my might, I pulled at it, attempting to tear it in two. I wasn't successful, but it was a far better use of my frustrations than crying. Okay, so, I didn't have one soul in the world to depend upon at this moment. So what if I didn't have an exit strategy for when I finally gave birth to this baby. I also didn't have one thought as to how I would find Edward. I could no longer be weak. I wouldn't be weak. I was strong. _No more tears, Bella. No more!_

Carlisle walked into the room, and my dam burst.

He quickly came over and folded me into his arms.

"Oh, god! I thought I'd never see you again."

Carlisle hushed me, while running a comforting hand over my back. He dried my tears with his thumbs and said, "I think it's time to meet my grandson."

He motioned to the nurse, and two more people came in and turned the room around to help me get into position. Carlisle put on his gloves and made sure everyone was ready. The pain was indescribable, but at least I had someone I knew with me. I tried not to focus too much attention on the fact that Edward's father was going to be looking at my privates, but with the pain I was in, if he could get this baby out of me faster, I wouldn't mind if he reached in and yanked him out.

I pushed and pushed, keeping my focus on Carlisle's voice, until I heard the first cries of mine and Edward's child. Once he was out, I felt intense relief and a calm I would take with me for the rest of my days. To look upon this miracle was a true gift from God.

They wrapped him up, and as the nurses left, Carlisle brought the baby over to me. He sat down at my bedside, and we marveled at how beautiful he was. His perfect chubby cheeks and brown hair had flecks of red in it like Edward's. I looked up and saw the awe and amazement in Carlisle's face, and for the first time, I could see how the past six weeks had aged him. The lines in his face were more pronounced, and I could see the gray peeking through in the stubble on his chin.

"Esme misses you so much. She wanted me to tell you she loves you."

Carlisle nodded his head softly.

I looked down at my beautiful baby boy, and as perfect as he was, I hoped he would forgive me for what I must do next.

"Carlisle, I'm going to find Edward. Somehow, I have to get out of here. Emily told me they're keeping him in the white ward. I don't even know where the white ward is, but I have to try…"

"Are you out of your mind?" Carlisle cut me off. "Absolutely not! You'll do no such thing. You're going back to the house. This baby needs his mother. This unrest will be over soon, and then…Edward will come home."

His words…even he didn't believe them.

"I have to try. I can't just wait around, hoping for the best."

"Bella! They'll hurt you. Maybe even kill you. Don't do something stupid," he commanded.

I looked down and kissed my boy. My tears flowed freely.

"I know Edward doesn't love me as much as I love him. I know what I'm planning…is stupid. I should just return home and hope for the best, as Alice is doing, and Esme, but I can't. He's your son, Carlisle. He's responsible for this amazing gift. I don't care if I get hurt…or die. I have to try. I guess I'd rather be stupid than useless."

Carlisle looked down at the white sheets that covered me. He had no rebuttal. He got up from his chair and walked out of the room. At first, I believed he would be back, but as the hands on the clock over the door continued to move, I felt hurt that he had left and abandoned me.

I was alone once again.

I held onto my son, even though my arms were tired because I didn't know if I would ever see him again after tonight. I tried to memorize every perfect detail of his face, just in case I did see Edward again. He'd want to know how amazing our son was. I said prayers to God that he would watch over him. _Even if I don't survive, please, dear God, see that this boy lives. _

I didn't name him. I worried that, if I did, it would hurt even more.

Finally, around midnight, I got up and placed him in his little box and went to the bathroom. The pads the nurses had provided were soaked in blood. I stepped into the shower and tried and clean myself off as best I could. I knew I would be tender for a few days, but the pain was far less than what I had experienced a couple of hours ago.

I put on another massive pad that covered my underwear and used this spray the nurses had provided to numb me. I walked back into the room and saw my boy was still sleeping. I pulled on my robe and took a few steps towards the door. It took all the courage I had left to put my hand on the doorknob. I needed to see if there was anyone standing guard outside. If there was, I would have to come up with some kind of diversion in order to get out of here.

Just as my hand moved to the doorknob, the door opened, and I jumped back, startled. It was Carlisle.

"Hurry, we don't have a lot of time." Carlisle thrust a pile of clothes at me. "You need to get dressed fast. I have a lot to say, and I need you to listen very carefully and not interrupt."

He was frantic. I'd never seen him like this before. I quickly took the clothes and went into the bathroom to begin putting them on. I could see from the looks of them, they were what the lessers would wear, when they worked at the hospital. A navy blue long-sleeved coat that folded across the body and tied on the side. Black cotton pants, with a white cover to go on my head to hide my hair, and white socks with white tennis shoes.

"There are two white wards in the north. They must be holding him there, because the Resistance hasn't made any headway anywhere else yet. Don't waste your time trying to locate the white wards in the middle of the country or down south. When you find one, tell them you worked at a white ward down south and were able to get out before they closed the borders. Tell them you worked in maintenance. That'll probably be the easiest way for you to infiltrate their system and be able to look around to find Edward. It could take days before you make it through all the prisoners. If Edward isn't at the first, then he'll be at the second, but be thorough in your search, because once you leave, you'll not be able to get back in."

I was done with the clothing, including the hat that covered my hair. I walked out to the bed and began to pull on the socks and shoes.

"Next, once you do find Edward…" Carlisle stopped and then pulled out a small black bag, handing it to me. "I don't know what state he'll be in. From what I understand, you'll need this."

I opened the drawstring and saw two capped syringes.

"It's adrenaline. You'll only have twenty, maybe thirty minutes max, before Edward will succumb to the drugs they used. It'll take days before he's back to himself. You have to be quick, and make sure it's Edward you use this on. He'll look different. You might not recognize him, and he most certainly won't be of any help."

I narrowed my eyes, wondering what he meant by that.

"Last. This is all the money I have. I stashed away a few coins in the event of an emergency. Use it wisely, and be careful with it."

He handed me the small coin purse, and I tucked it away in my pocket.

"I have a laundry cart outside waiting. We'll place the baby inside and pray he doesn't wake up and make noise. Go to the side exit. I'll create a diversion, and when you hear all the commotion, get yourself out the side door, and whatever you do, don't look back."

I stood up and walked to him. He placed his hands on my shoulders.

"Bella. You're the only one who can save my son…" he began to choke up, "but if the risk becomes too grave, please, walk away. Edward would want you to walk away. He loves you more than you know. He was just an idiot who couldn't get over his grandfather's sins, and that was my fault. Please, don't hold him responsible. If you two should meet, don't ever let him go, and if you see Esme…tell her I'll always love her."

He pulled me in and held me tight. I wanted to cry, but I didn't, because we didn't have time for that.

I turned around and picked up my baby, and Carlisle caressed his head one last time. "He looks like Edward."

He leaned down and kissed his grandson's head, and then he pulled me towards the door. "We don't have long, I used everything I had for this last bribe."

I walked out, and there was no guard at my door. Carlisle took my son and placed him in the laundry cart. He pulled a sheet over the top and lay it down gently over my baby.

He motioned for me to go one way, but Carlisle turned to walk in the opposite direction. I headed towards the south maintenance elevators and pressed the button. My heartbeat so loudly, I'd swear I could hear it. I looked toward the lobby and saw how many officers walked around, dressed head to toe in black.

The elevator doors opened, and I entered, pushing the cart that held my baby. It was late, so thankfully, there was no one around to question me. I arrived downstairs and slowly walked my cart towards the side entrance.

The doors were coming up, and I saw a guard standing at them. My palms began to sweat, as I tried to think of what I would say to get by him without him holding me up, but suddenly, I heard a gun go off. The guard at the door rushed past me and towards the lobby.

More gunshots.

I rushed outside and pushed my cart over into a corner and grabbed my baby, pressing him tightly to my chest. I carried him towards the street, where I knew the bus line picked up, and I saw a bus up ahead. I turned back to look at the lobby.

Carlisle was on his knees, with his hands behind his head. He saw me and shook his head ever so slightly. I pulled the baby closer to me. I turned to take a few more steps toward the bus, but my eye caught a guard walking up to Carlisle.

My world stopped.

I nearly dropped my baby.

One shot in the back of the head, and Carlisle was gone.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I've read this chapter a lot and every time I cry. As of right now, I am projecting that we will see Edward by Chapter 8.**

**Thank you to Fran for getting this back to me so quickly so I could give it to you. She did an amazing job at editing. Thank you to Dollybigmomma for taking the time to preread and edit!**

**Story is Mine. Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

**Friend or Foe**

Frozen.

My feet were planted, and they refused to move unless I saw Carlisle stand back up again. He didn't. My eyes had to be playing tricks on me. I was so far away, I must not have seen the whole picture. It was probably a warning shot, or perhaps they had used fake bullets. _Get up, Carlisle. Get up!_

"Hey, are you coming or not?"

I turned and saw the bus driver was waiting for me to make a move. He seemed bored. How could he be so cavalier, when a man was just murdered?

I slowly made my way up the three steps. I tried to not jostle my baby boy, while I searched my pockets for coins. My hand unclasped the coin purse Carlisle had given me not even an hour ago, and I reached in to find the smallest coin. I handed it to the driver, and he dropped it into his bucket and then fished out three smaller coins to hand back to me.

I stiffly turned and walked towards the back of the bus. I was relieved there wasn't anyone else riding at this time of night to bear witness to the horrors that must have been plastered upon my face. I sat down and slowly looked back over towards the hospital, and I saw two guys dragging a body away. I pulled my baby closer to me and shook, as I tried to not cry out.

I couldn't show any emotion. If I did, I might raise the driver's suspicion, and he could call someone to come sort me out. Carlisle couldn't have died for nothing, so I threw all my focus into the plastic seat in front of me and tried to think about anything other than Carlisle. I slowly pulled the cap off my head and stashed it in the bundle of blankets that surrounded my son.

The bus moved towards the Cullen estate. I knew the routes very well, from when I had volunteered at the hospital and would need to go home. I pushed the thought of Carlisle away and began to focus on my next problem. Somehow, I would need to get my baby back into the confines of the Cullen property without alerting the guards.

I was only a few hours into motherhood, and already, I was feeling like a horrible mother, abandoning my baby, so I could go on a suicide mission to track down his father. I wanted to hate myself, but there would be plenty of time to pencil in self-loathing later when I had nothing to keep my focus during the long nights ahead.

I chose to get off at the stop a half-mile away from my parents' house. I hadn't seen them since my Blessing Celebration. I felt a bit guilty when I thought about my father. The poor man had found out with the rest of society that his youngest daughter was pregnant, and then she went completely silent, after making a huge public embarrassment of the most prominent family in the state. Even with all that, I felt he would still greet me favorably. Seeing my mother again, however, made me nervous.

With every step I took closer to my old house, I could feel my nerves kick in. I briefly wondered how they had faired with the new regime that had come into power. I hoped my father hadn't done anything silly when he had heard I was being held at the mansion up the street. Being with the authorities, my father would be smart and know how to play both sides if need be.

I stayed off the road, afraid I would be found out if I didn't allow the thick woods to keep me hidden. It took me longer to go through the trees and take extra precaution, so I wouldn't trip over any tree roots. I also had to stop a couple of times, because even as tiny as my bundle of joy was, he was starting to feel heavy in my arms.

When my parents' house came into view, I waited to see if I could catch any activity outside of it before continuing forth. The lights were out, which was to be expected at this hour of the morning. With my heart in my throat, I took slow steps toward the porch, feeling as if, at any moment, a Resistance solider would cut off my path and point his threatening weapon at me and my son.

But I made it to the porch and up the steps without any movement or sound from a foe. However, when I went to knock on the door, I noticed it wasn't shut properly. I was able to enter without awakening my parents. It would probably be best this way.

I pushed the door open slowly. My eyes couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. I reached for the light switch to flip it on, but nothing happened. Only the glow from the moon was able to light my path and the scene before me. Most of the furniture was gone. Whatever was left lay haphazardly on the floor.

This didn't make any sense. My parents were barely above a lesser. Did this mean they had been taken, too? God, I felt like such an idiot. How could I have not worried about them these last six weeks? I thought about my sister, knowing she was connected to a prominent family a state away, but I figured she was probably like Rosalie, sitting around and complaining about night cream and such.

I lay my baby down on a rug and quickly moved through the house to see if anything had been left that could be useful. The first place I went to was the creaky floorboard in my parents' room, where my father hid an extra gun.

I landed on my knees at the place on the floor, feeling hopeful. Fine dust covered the floorboards, which momentarily reminded me of Mrs. Cope and her whereabouts, but I shook those thoughts from my head. I had no time to wonder. I pulled up the floorboard and saw the box nestled below me. I lifted the box out and opened it, but my hopes were quickly dashed. There was no gun inside. My father must have taken it before he left. If the person who had raided our house had found it, they wouldn't have put the box back.

I quickly went through the house, finding nothing of consequence. Even the food was gone or rotted. I used the bathroom, even though the water had been shut off, and I was thankful when I found some sanitary products under the sink. That was a blessing, even if I would have preferred a weapon for protection.

I went up to my old bedroom, and it resembled nothing as I remembered when I had last seen it. I looked around at the white walls I used to hate and wished I could rewind and go back to a time when my worst problem was my sister calling me names and trying to make my life miserable. Those miseries seemed comical now.

I looked out my window towards the woods we shared with the Cullen estate and wondered if all the time I had spent in them growing up was about to pay off. I left, closing the door on my childhood bedroom. Closing the door quite possibly to this life I once had.

I had to be strong. No time to worry about my parents. I must keep pushing on.

I saw my boy beginning to move, as I went back downstairs, and he started to fuss. He must be hungry. I didn't know the first thing about breastfeeding, but I had no choice, I had to try. It would not do well to go and attempt to infiltrate the Cullen estate with a screaming, hungry baby. I sat down on the floor beside my little miracle and pulled up my shirt and bra. It was uncomfortable, but I didn't want to fully undress, in case I needed to grab the baby and run.

I sat with my back up against the wall and pushed my baby's mouth toward my swollen breast.

"Come on. You can do it," I coaxed.

His mouth came in contact, but he seemed timid to latch on. I squeezed my nipple, and I saw some fluid come out. I tried to rub the tip on his lips, and he finally took my nipple fully. It hurt. Not enough to cry over, but it was not a pleasant feeling.

He seemed to take forever emptying my breasts, but I couldn't complain, because I knew these could be my last moments with him. He nursed until he put himself back to sleep. I adjusted my clothing and then spent a few more minutes just staring at him, trying to memorize every feature, so I had something to share when I finally found Edward.

I was exhausted. I began to feel myself tear up at the thoughts of everything that had happened and what was to come. I clenched my eyes shut and shook my head. I couldn't give in to this exhaustion. It was too dangerous. I got up as quickly as I could and went to leave this place behind.

Somehow, it felt as if it had dropped ten additional degrees in the time I had been inside my parents' house. I pulled my baby closer and headed for the woods. My senses were heightened, as I listened for any sounds that could be deemed threatening. The farther along I went, I began to only hear the panting coming from my mouth. I didn't want to stop, even if my arms were pained with the weight. I knew I was close, and if I stopped now, I might not have the strength to pick myself back up till the afternoon, and surely, we would be found.

I heard noises up ahead, and I slowed my walk. A bright light shined near where the house was. Now, I had to use the trees to try and block me. I scurried forward from tree to tree, squinting my eyes to see what was going on.

Were they looking for me? They would know by now I was missing. Maybe they knew I would be silly enough to return here. My eyes caught sight of Esme, as she spoke with a guard. But wait, that was not a guard. I could tell from the clothing that this man wasn't dressed as our guards were. I slowly walked forward. I saw Alice. She was standing next to a tall figure, with her arms wrapped around his midsection.

It was Jasper!

I was in shock. So much so, that I walked out of the woods without thinking of announcing myself, and suddenly, there were guns pointed directly at me.

"Bella?" Alice called out. She ran out from behind Jasper and put her hands up. "Stop! That's my sister!"

Jasper yelled out a command, and instantly, the weapons were lowered. Esme and Alice ran to me, assaulting me with hugs and kisses.

"How did you escape?"

"Thank god you're here!"

So many questions came all too quickly.

"Is that my grandson? Please, let me have him. I need to see this perfect little thing." Esme pulled my son out of my arms, and my muscles welcomed the relief.

"What's going on? Is the uprising over?" I asked.

Jasper was at Alice's side to answer my questions.

"No. Unfortunately, it'll be quite a while before that happens. I only managed to get a small unit together to come and rescue you guys. We have to get going and get out of here fast. Once they realize what happened and why those boys aren't answering their phones, they'll be on this place like flies to a garbage can. Let's load you up!"

They began to pull me towards the vehicle they had waiting in the driveway. I could see our guards lined up against the house and being watched by one of Jasper's men.

"I told you he'd come for me," Alice gushed.

I nodded, but then I realized I couldn't go with them.

"Wait!" I stopped.

Everyone turned to look at me.

"I'm sorry. I can't go."

"What?" Alice asked. "Of course, you're going."

"No," I shook my head. "I need you to take the baby. I need you to take care of him as if he were your own. I have to go and find Edward."

"No, Bella!" Esme stepped in. "We don't know where Edward is, and you're not going to leave this child an orphan if you can't find him."

"I know where Edward is. Emily told me. They're keeping him at the white ward. That's where they took the men. I know I sound stupid. I do. But I can't go with you. I must try to find him. I can't wait and hope that, somehow, this ends soon, and everyone we love is returned to us. I know you don't understand, but I have to do this."

Alice turned to Jasper and said, "Tell her she can't go. Tie her up if you have to."

Jasper looked at me, and I took a small step back.

Then, there was another voice speaking.

"Let her go, Alice."

It was Rosalie.

She walked over with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

"It took you over six weeks to come for us. It could take months…years before you manage to make it up north to free the ones we love from the white ward. But Bella is willing to take a chance, and she could have a lot more luck getting farther and faster than all the military support in the south. She can blend in…she…well…she's not like us. Useless. She knows and understands things far more than any of us. I believe in her because if there's one thing I know, you don't mess with a woman who knows what she wants and is determined to get it."

I was in awe of Rosalie's words. Her little speech nearly made me feel like I could win the whole war. Alice looked back to me, and Esme cuddled my baby closer to her body, but there were no more disputes.

"Please, Bella…if you can…I mean, if you see Emmett…will you help him? You're my only hope now," Rosalie said, walking forward to place a picture in my hands.

I had never met Emmett McCarty or seen what he looked like. Maybe if I had been the type of girl who invested her time at court, then I would know who he was without the picture.

I nodded at Rosalie.

I didn't know if I would be able to help her, but if it didn't get in the way of finding Edward, I would do what I could for her.

"When you were at the hospital, did you get a chance to see Carlisle?" Esme asked.

My body instantly stiffened. Could I tell her? End her whole world right now? Wouldn't it be better to lie and leave off the last part? But I guessed I had never been very good at hiding my true emotions. I slowly looked over to her, and I saw all the hope instantly drain from her face.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "He…he…"

I couldn't do it. I couldn't say the words, but I needn't say them. She knew.

She nearly collapsed to the ground, but Jasper reached out to take my baby from her arms to save him. Alice joined her mother on the ground, holding her and crying along with her. I looked over to Jasper, and he seemed at a loss for what he should do.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again.

Jasper looked over to one of his men and beckoned them to come forward. He handed off my baby to one of the men, but Esme caught sight of the exchange, and once again, she was up on her feet.

"No, I'll take him. Give him here."

Alice looked over to me with her tear-stained face. She wanted to know. I'd known Alice for so long, I could nearly read her mind. She wanted me to tell her how her father had died. She deserved the truth, but it would make me the worst person in the world, when she heard he had died for me. I would tell her, but not now.

"We have to move out," Jasper said, taking Alice's hand.

Rosalie pulled her blanket tighter and walked towards the military vehicles to climb in.

"Bella, if you're really planning on doing this, I have a few things you should take with you," Jasper said, and I nodded and followed him to the car. He reached into the front seat and pulled out a brown knapsack. He dumped out a few things onto the seat, and then reached into the glovebox and began to fill it with various items. He turned back and jumped down from the car and handed it to me.

"A bottle of water and some crackers is all I have on me. Do you know how to use a gun?"

He pulled out a small but heavy gun and handed it to me.

"Yeah…my father showed me a few times."

If my mother had ever found out, she would have killed my father with his own gun, but my dad knew it was better to have the knowledge than to be completely ignorant. I doubted he had ever tried to show Jessica how to use one, however.

"It's loaded. I'm sure I don't have to tell you to be careful…"

I shook my head.

"Next," he said, pulling out a small phone, "This has the best GPS map system. It'll help you find your way to the white ward, but don't turn it on for long periods. For one, I'm sure you'll have a hard time finding a place to charge it, and two, if someone was trying to ping your location, this would alert them to your location in seconds. Turn it on. Look quickly, and then turn it off. Got it?"

I nodded once again, and he shoved the gun and phone into the bag.

"We're going to head back down south, but unfortunately, the Resistance is gaining strength. Even with all the military power we have, somehow, this faction is still managing to grow. It's no longer safe to stay in the country. We've broken down the border wall and are sending our people down through Mexico for safety."

He looked over to Esme, who was putting all her energy into focusing on my baby. "Esme, is there a place we should tell Bella to go if she should make it?" Jasper asked her.

Esme cleared her throat and looked up.

"We have a small island down off the coast of South America. I think its best we head there. Edward knows where it is. If you get to Mexico and Edward isn't with you, then we'll leave word with the military to help you locate it."

Alice walked forward, sniffling.

"I guess this is goodbye?"

I reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"Never goodbye," I whispered. "Please, take care of him."

I released her, and now Esme walked forward a little. I looked down at my son and ran my finger along his face. He took a gentle breath and then gave a happy sigh.

"His name is…Edward Carlisle Cullen. Please, tell him about his daddy someday," I sniffled and held back the tears that wanted to escape.

Esme placed her free arm around me and squeezed me tight.

"I will. And I'm going to tell him about his brave mommy, too. Go with God, Bella, and please come home to us."

Jasper helped Alice into the truck, and then Esme handed my baby up to Alice to hold, while she pulled herself up. The men Jasper had brought all loaded up. I looked toward the house and saw all the Resistance guards still on the ground in handcuffs.

Jasper tossed me something, and I saw it was a set of keys.

"They belong to one of their vehicles. Take it towards the city, but you must but ditch the car quickly. As I said, it'll only be a matter of time before they find out what happened here."

I had never driven a car before, so I was worried. Jasper must have seen the trepidation on my face.

"They're self-driving. Just tap in where you want it to take you, and it'll go. Trust me, they're user-friendly. If you can operate an iPhone-Z, then you should have no problem with the car."

He jumped into the front seat, and I saw his hand wave out the window, as they began to back up. I stood there in the driveway to the Cullen's impressive mansion and watched, as they slowly drove away. A shudder went throughout my body, and I worried this would be the last time I would ever see the ones I loved.

I turned back to the house and began to walk towards Felix. He had a stupid smirk on his face.

"Why did they leave you behind? Couldn't handle the weight limit?" Felix taunted.

I walked over and stood directly in front of him. My foot reached back, and with all my force, I kicked him straight in the groin. He doubled over in pain, while the other guards cringed at the sight.

"Anyone else?" I asked.

No one said a word. I tossed the keys up into the air, and when they landed, I pressed the button to alert me to where the car was.

"Good luck, boys!" I walked toward the car and murmured, "You're going to need it."

I slid into the car, and once my bottom hit the seat, the car turned on. The computer on the dash lit up and began talking to me, asking me questions.

"Um…drive me towards the city."

The car roared to life and then backed out of the drive. I felt very satisfied with myself, as I watched the steering wheel make all it's turns without me having to lay a hand on it. We got to the main road, and the car picked up speed. At this rate, I would be there quickly, but as every minute passed, I felt like I should ditch the car soon. I kept looking in my rearview mirror, expecting to see lights coming up fast behind me. Thankfully, nothing came.

The sun began to creep up, as I got closer to the city. I pulled out the items Carlisle had given me and stuffed them into my bag. It was almost seven o'clock in the morning. I was beginning to fail at keeping my eyes open. I knew the first thing I needed to do when I got to the city was to find a place to sleep. Even just a few hours would help reenergize me.

I directed the car to pull over to the side and off the road. I got out and tossed the keys, fearing they might have a GPS locator device planted on them. Pulling on my knapsack, I began the trek into the city. I started to feel a surge of energy the closer I got. I was worried I would be found out. When I began to see people walking, I pulled at my sack and bought it to the front of me, fearful someone would attempt to snatch it. Crime used to be low, but that was a different time. No telling what the city was like now since the authorities had no power.

However, I was surprised at how everything seemed relatively the same. True, I had only been here once before, but most people were dressed in uniforms and looked to be heading off to whatever job they worked in. I approached a large open square, and the first thing I noticed was a monstrous television screen plastered to the side of the building. A few people stood around looking up at it. I saw an elderly gentleman check his watch and then look back to the blank screen.

I decided to stand and wait around for a short moment to see what everyone is waiting for. A few minutes went by, and then suddenly, the screen came to life. A few people cheered. It began showing scenes of the Resistance, as they took over varying areas across the north. Then, the movie stopped, and the camera showed one man.

I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the gasp that threatened to out me.

"My fellow people, I come today to announce that we've successfully taken the harbors! We move towards the west and are gathering much support from the lessers throughout the country. I'm proud to be the leader of this renaissance. No longer will we stand to be treated as less than. No longer will we be forced to work for crumbs, while the diamonds laugh at our pain. I know what you've gone through. I've witnessed it myself. My own wife was abused at the hands of these diamonds. They stole our child away from us when they beat her. I know your pain.

"We outnumber the diamonds, and it's time we show them what we're made of. Thank you for continuing to support our cause. Thank you for your constant unwavering faith. We'll continue to push on the south, and we'll win! We'll take back this country! Do your part and help. If you should see a transgressor, report them! Do not take them in! Any person found harboring a diamond will be given the same treatment and punishment. We don't say these words because we want to control you as they've controlled you. We say them because we want to see a change, and that'll only happen if we all band together. Thank you. God bless you and God bless the Resistance!"

The video ceased, and I was left standing in the middle of the square, while the people around me cheered.

"Sam?" I whispered in disbelief.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I know the last chapter was hard. It was hard for me too.**

**Thank you to FRAN for editing this and also to DOLLYBIGMOMMA for prereading and checking. I am so incredibly blessed to have a great group of people who strive to help me perfect this story.**

**Story is Mine. Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**Day One**

People walked past me after they were done with their celebrating. I got jostled as I stood there, still in disbelief. I thought back to my memories of Sam and wondered how he could be the same man I had just witnessed give that speech. I thought of Emily and the way she had looked at me, when I had seen her last. Suddenly, it all made sense. The way the guards had addressed her and held a reverence for her. How she had known things. Known where Edward was. She had known, because she was a part of this.

I knew I should get out of the square. This was no place for a mental breakdown. I felt my feet begin to move off towards the side, as I aimlessly walked with no purpose. My brain fought with itself. Part of me said to stop focusing on Sam and pay attention. I could be apprehended at any moment if someone were to recognize me. However, the other part of my brain shut me down, and I was lucky I had the good sense to walk in a straight line and not into anything.

I felt a person's hand grip my arm, and it was enough to wake me up. I'd been found! Not even on my own for a few hours, and already, I had been apprehended. I went to scream, but a hand was smacked over my mouth, while I was pulled into a nearby building.

Once inside, I was let go, and I turned around to see it was not a Resistance solider, like I had feared, but a dear, kind face I knew all too well.

"Mrs. Cope!" I cried out, and she took me into her arms. "Oh, thank god!"

"Hush! Let's get you inside. Be quiet. You don't know who your neighbors truly are in times like these."

She took my hand and pulled me into a small apartment. I looked around and saw her bed across from her kitchen and a small sofa in the middle, with a tiny television propped up by a couple of books. Only her bathroom resided behind closed doors.

"Look at you. Seems you had that baby," she began.

"I did. Last night. It was a boy."

"Well, where is he?" she asked.

I shook my head and sighed. "I had to leave him behind. I…I'm doing something stupid. I decided to go and find Edward."

Mrs. Cope heaved an audible sigh of her own, as she shook her head and gave me a discerning eye.

I held up my hands and walked towards her couch. "I know. I know. It's stupid. Especially since Edward doesn't love me. I know, but I just can't explain it. I just…I just…have to try. I can't go on and forget about him. I have to find him."

Mrs. Cope hobbled over and sat herself down in a dilapidated old chair. She picked up a small box and shook out a cigarette.

"I didn't know you smoked."

She shrugged and lit it up. "In times like these? I smoke. It's not pretty out there, I tell you. People are excited about their new freedoms, but they come at a price. I myself am happy I'm able to go more places than ever before, but so many don't realize what's happening. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a huge fan of your mother, but she didn't deserve what she got."

I felt the blood drain from my face. Was she dead?

Mrs. Cope saw my expression and immediately put out her cigarette.

"What happened to my mother?" I whispered.

"You don't know? I…I just assumed they told you."

"Is she dead?"

Mrs. Cope swallowed and shrugged once more. "I'm not sure. They took her and your father to one of their labor camps. Only women who were of the highest stations were spared and imprisoned in the houses, like Mrs. Cullen and yourself. The rest of the lower classes were put to work. I don't know what happened to them after they were taken from the house. They let me go, before they ransacked your parents' house. I'm sorry, Bella. I thought you knew."

God, I was such a horrible daughter. Never once had I really thought about what had happened to my parents. To be fair, I had tried not to think about anyone. My thoughts had been inundated with worries about Edward. I had found when I would think about the precarious situation we had faced while at the Cullen estate, I would become a shell, just like Esme and Alice. I didn't want to be frozen in weakness.

"I had no idea," I said softly. "I feel horrible."

I scrunched my eyes once again. I would not break down. There would be plenty of time for crying later. I needed to stay focused.

"I should probably get going. I don't want to get you in any trouble. I saw the video that played in the square. If I'm caught fraternizing with you, they'll give you the same sentence they give me."

I went to stand, but Mrs. Cope put out her hand to stop me.

"Nonsense, Bella. You just gave birth. You must be exhausted. No one will know you're here. Please, just get some sleep. If you're to be successful in your mission to find Edward, you'll need a good strong meal in your tummy and a good night's rest."

"I can't take that chance. If something happened to you because of me…"

"If it happens, then it was meant to be." She got up from her chair and hobbled over towards her bed to pull a blanket off the top and a pillow. "I may not have agreed with the class system in our country…sure, a couple of times, I'd wished it'd all burned down to hell…but I can't in good conscious go along with this…Resistance…if they'd have me turn you in. I've cared for you for years. Thought of you as my own, especially since your mother was never kind to you. You were always there to help me, and now, it's my turn to help you. Get some rest. When you wake, I'll have supper ready."

She handed me the blanket and tossed the pillow down to my left. I lay down slowly and brought the blanket to rest over my body. It took a while, before I would trust my eyes to close and not see one of the many horrors running rampant through my mind. Carlisle dying. My parents being hauled off by Resistance soldiers. My poor baby boy. _Dear God, please, let him make it to Mexico safely._

When I finally succumbed to sleep, I passed out hard. Even on the tiny lumpy couch, Mrs. Cope provided, I was able to get some of the soundest sleep of my life. It was the first time in months I didn't have the hardened bulge in my stomach to make it difficult to turn over or cause pain in my back.

A loud siren went off, jolting me out of my slumber. Only a small light was on in the kitchen. Mrs. Cope was hovering over a pot, as she stirred in various items. She turned and saw me sitting up on her couch.

"You must be needing the washroom. Why don't you head in and take a quick shower, and by the time you're out, I'll have this stew ready for us to eat."

I smiled and nodded at her generosity.

The bathroom was barely big enough to fit me. I couldn't even turn around without hitting either the sink, toilet or small shower stall. I pulled off my clothes and left them on the toilet seat. The pad in my panties showed my bleeding was still rather heavy. It would make it annoyingly difficult to keep up with sanitary supplies on my journey.

I peeked my head out the door and called for Mrs. Cope. "You wouldn't happen to have any extra pads, would you?"

It was a silly question, since Mrs. Cope was well past the age to require such items.

"No, but I have something even better, as long as you don't make fun of me for it. Under the sink, there should be some heavy-duty pee-pee pants. Go ahead and use one. You'll find it's far better than the pads the hospital provided."

I closed the door and pulled out one of her pee-pee pants. I had heard of these before, mainly used on older people who couldn't hold it to make it to the bathroom on time. Also, there were some lessers who were forbidden by their employers from taking restroom breaks. Not a practice my mother engaged in, thankfully, but there were some people out there who were just that cruel to the people who worked for them.

The shower felt incredible. Even though it was in the smallest stall I had ever stepped foot in, or the fact the soap was generic, the shower seemed to bypass all that had come before it. After the rest and shower, I felt once again able to take on the world. Pushing all the negativity out of my mind, I chose to focus on the future.

I twisted my hair up in a towel to help it dry and walked out of the bathroom in the same clothes Carlisle had fixed me up in.

"Perfect timing. Come and sit down. I have your plate all ready."

I did as Mrs. Cope instructed. I saw a bowl of stew and a small piece of bread with a glass of water. It was not much, but I was thankful, as I knew this meal would set her back in her monthly rations.

"Thank you, Mrs. Cope. Please, let me give you some money for this…"

"Oh, hush up!" she interrupted. "Any money you have, you'd best keep to yourself for what awaits you. I fear you'll have a hell of a time with your mission. I always knew you were too good for that Cullen boy, and after what he pulled, I wish you'd listen when I tell you to forget him. But I know you. You won't."

She sighed once more and shook her head sadly.

"Where are you even going to begin?" she asked, after we were left in silence to eat our food. I swallowed my bite and shrugged.

"I have no idea. I guess my first problem is finding a way to go north. They have Edward in a white ward. I'm not even sure which one, but my first problem is getting there."

"The white ward?" Mrs. Cope nearly shrieked. "You can't be serious, Bella. You'd dare go to such a place?"

"I have to. If that's where they're keeping Edward, I have to try and get him out. Carlisle gave me a few tips. I just…need to be a lesser. Tell them I worked at one down south. Tell them I worked in maintenance, and hopefully, they'll let me come in and work."

Mrs. Cope wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and refused to look at me again. We finished the meal in awkward silence. The only sound to be heard was our spoons scraping against the bottoms of our bowls.

Mrs. Cope got up and took her bowl to the sink. She shook her head once more, but she still refused to look at me. She headed toward her front door, and without a word, she left. I sat there, unsure of what I should do. She wouldn't have gone and told anyone about me, would she?

I looked down at my empty bowl and went to put it in the sink. I headed back towards the couch and began to gather my things. As I went through the contents of my bag, looking everything over, I heard the door open once again.

Mrs. Cope was back, and in her hands looked to be some more clothes.

"Here. These are worn by the maintenance workers at one of the white wards down south. I know someone who works in manufacturing. She has access to nearly every kind of uniform. You're going to need all the help you can get, if you're silly enough to go forth with this plan of yours."

My mouth fell open. I took the clothes from her, and she gave me a watery, sad smile. I threw my arms around her and whispered a thank you. I let her go and headed back towards the knapsack Jasper had given me, stuffing the uniform into it.

"You're going to need a few more things before you go," Mrs. Cope said, heading towards the bathroom. She came out and handed me a couple more pee-pee pants. She then headed towards her kitchen and banged on a floorboard, and it popped open. She pulled out a box and rifled through it.

She came back and handed me a small packet of pills.

"Start taking these once a day. They'll help with lessening the blood. Take them until the pack is finished, but only take the green ones. The white ones are…fake," she waved, dismissing them. I wondered why someone would put fake pills in a packet, but I didn't ask.

"Oh, and if you're caught with these, it might not be pleasant, so worst case, throw them away if needs be." She then handed me a small bottle of white pills. "These will help with drying up your milk supply. Your breasts are going to hurt something awful without that baby to suck all the milk out. The sooner you start taking these, the better."

She spilled out two pills and handed them to me with the glass of water from the table. I swallowed them obediently and took the rest to stuff into my bag.

"One more thing," she said, handing me another bottle of small tablets, "Use these in any water you drink that's not clean. It'll keep your guts inside your body. Dirty water would tear them up and make you think they're coming out otherwise."

Mrs. Cope then went towards the kitchen once again and pulled down a thermos container. She tipped the last of the contents from her pot into it and screwed on the cap.

"Here, at least this'll last you for another day, until you can find some food. Take the rest of the bread, too."

"Please, you have to let me pay you for this. I know how much this must cost…"

"Hush up!" she ordered, thrusting the container into my hands. She looked at me once again, while I held onto the bag and the thermos she had just gifted me with. She ran a hand through my hair and patted my cheek.

"I fear this'll be the last we'll see of each other, Isabella Swan. May God be with you on your travels. I'll pray for you every night before I go to sleep."

I walked into her arms and gave her one last hug. I feared her words rang true. This would be the last time I would ever see Mrs. Cope. If I was to be successful, I would be heading down to Mexico. If I was not…the next time I would see her would be in heaven.

"Thank you for everything. It means the world to me," I said.

Mrs. Cope led me towards the door and stopped me one last time.

"Head towards the tracks. There's a cargo train that travels north on track two. It'll be there until midnight, but don't get on until it nears midnight, or else you might get caught. Get in an open car and stay there. When you feel the train beginning to slow, you need to jump. Do _not_ wait for it to stop, or else someone might see you. Understand?"

I nodded and then proceeded to slip out her door. It was better this way. Leave in the dead of night and hope Mrs. Cope's neighbors wouldn't expose her. I gave her one last look before heading out, the door closing behind me a few seconds later.

Once I was outside, I felt my nerves kick up once more, as I hardly saw any activity on the streets. I tried to stick to the shadows, as I headed for the train station. Problem was, I was not sure where the station was. I kept walking, hoping I would come across a sign, but I worried I was spending too much time going in the wrong direction. So, I finally stopped and pulled out the phone with the GPS system Jasper had given me. I quickly tapped my inquiry into the phone about the nearest train station, and I saw I was three blocks away from it. I turned off the phone and began to head west, as the directions indicated.

When I finally arrived at the station, I saw a few people walking the overpass, but I managed to stay out of sight. I squinted, trying to read the signs to locate track two, and I saw it was the one farthest from me. There wasn't a train on track one, so I knew this must have been it. A clock overhead read eleven forty-five, so I walked away from the train to get some distance between me and the overpass and find an unlighted area that might make for a safe cover. I looked towards the overpass, and when I didn't see anyone, I took off at a run over track one and slammed into the train on track two in my rush.

My breaths came shallow, as I began to walk down the track to look for an open car. It took passing three cars before I could find one. I pulled my bag off and placed it inside, and then I pulled myself up with all my might, rolling myself awkwardly into the car.

There were a few crates and barrels inside the car. I pushed a crate with all my strength to create a small pocket for myself to hide in. I was not sure how long this train trip would take. I only hoped it would get me far enough north, before I had to disembark.

A loud whistle rang through the air, and I nearly stumbled, as the car shook beneath me. I quickly ducked down in my spot, just in case someone came by and did one last check. My hand was over my mouth to make sure I didn't stupidly give myself away.

The motion of the train picked up. It slowly rocked me side to side. The noise was much louder than I had anticipated. The squeals from the brakes were enough to keep me on edge. However, once we gained speed, I found my nerves began to settle down. The motion could have lulled me into a peaceful sleep, but I resisted.

Afraid I would oversleep and ruin everything, I got up and began assessing the contents of the car. Perhaps there could be something useful. I pried the top off the barrel to my left, and the contents perplexed me. I pushed my hand into the top and let the grainy material run through my fingers. It was salt. That would hardly help me, so I attached the lid once more and moved on towards the crate that was working as my shield. It took me more than a minute to work the lid off the crate, but when I opened it, I pleasantly found something that would be most useful. A black blanket. The crate was filled with them. I pulled one out and tossed it to the side with the rest of my belongings.

I moved throughout the car and only managed to get three more containers opened. One barrel was sugar, and another barrel looked to be fertilizer. I only recognized that from my time spent in the garden. The other crate I managed to open was filled with black boots for men. I looked through the whole container to find the smallest pair. It was so dark I could only use the lights the train passed by to check the sizes. Unfortunately, the smallest pair I found was two sizes bigger than my shoe size, but I took them, anyway. I never knew when they could come in handy. I tied the laces together, so it would make them easier to transport.

It took a few more hours, before I would feel the train begin to slow. Those few hours were brutal. After wasting the first part of the journey on opening the containers, when I finally sat down and pulled the blanket over my body, I was left with my thoughts. Now would be the time to cry, I told myself. Get it out now. Cry, and then once this train stopped, I would move on and put all those dark thoughts behind me.

I wanted to give in, but I wouldn't allow myself to do it. I worried the crying would make me useless, and that could not happen. I could cry once I found Edward, and we were on our way to Mexico. I pulled out the picture Rosalie had given me and tried to focus on it. Emmett McCarty. He was a good-looking guy. Not a surprise, since Rosalie was beautiful. It seemed to go hand in hand, that good-looking people often married other good-looking people. Well…other than Edward and me, but ours hadn't been intended as a real marriage, anyway. So, I guessed the same would have applied, if Edward hadn't been so desperate to marry for convenience, just to obtain his grandfather's inheritance.

Emmett was smiling in this picture. Not the kind of smile that would make a lady swoon. No, this smile looked mischievous, with a touch of goofiness. I racked my brain, trying to remember what the McCarty's had been known for. Was it coal mining? No. Textiles? Transportation? God, I guessed I really should have focused on my studies more.

I thought back to when Edward would harp on me about my studies, and instead of getting angry, as I had done at the time, the memory made me smile. I floated on a daydream of Edward and his perfect smile. Not goofy or mischievous, as Emmett's was, but just…swoon worthy.

The sun came up, and I smiled, being able to see the trees that lined the path of the train tracks. It was a peaceful, beautiful sight, but as I stared at Mother Nature's wonders, I began to notice the trees weren't passing as fast as they had once been.

The squeal from the brakes caused me to jump to my feet. I quickly grabbed all my belongings and packed them up. I folded the blanket and tossed it and the shoes over my shoulder. My feet moved to the edge of the car, and I looked down at the ground. There was no way I could jump off this train at this speed. I could knock myself into one of the many trees and kill myself. I waited for it to slow more, but I grew anxious, knowing I didn't have much time left.

The train was slowing to a stop. I crouched down and readied myself to jump, but hades be with me, as I could not find the courage to do so. I thought of Edward and how lost my cause would be if I was to be unsuccessful.

"Jump, you idiot!" I said to myself.

I closed my eyes, and an image of Carlisle flashed through my mind. I couldn't let him die for nothing.

"Jump!" I screamed, and suddenly, my feet were in the air, as I flew towards the ground. I landed hard, but it seemed as if fortune was on my side, as I landed directly into a muddy ravine. It hurt, but it was far better than if I had smacked into a tree. Slowly, I emerged from the mire. My belongings were covered, as was I.

I worried someone might have seen my not-so-elegant swan dive, so as best as I could, I hobbled off towards the trees and put some distance between me and the tracks.

When I was about a good half-mile away, I dropped everything to the ground and squatted down to retrieve the phone, pulling up the GPS locator. It lit up, and my fingers quickly typed in a search for white wards. I had no idea what their proper names were. Two pinged my phone. One was twenty-seven miles away, and the other was fifty miles away. Thankfully, they were both in the same direction, but I knew it would take me a very long time to walk the distance.

Hollowbrook was the first one on the list. It was the closest. I prayed, _Dear Lord, let Edward be at that one_. It looked like it sat on a small river. The river was about two miles away from here. If I followed the riverbanks, I should be able to find it.

I quickly turned off the phone, remembering Jasper's warning, and picked up my muddy items to begin the trek towards the river. At least, when I got there, I should be able to clean off. I pulled the water bottle out Jasper had left with me and drank it on my way to the river. Fortune had smiled upon me that I would have access to water for the next few days.

The first day, I found my head turning in a flash toward every sound I heard. A twig breaking in the distance. The loud shriek from a bird. Every noise set me on edge. Once I hit the river and did a quick cleanup, I tried to stick to the tree line, but as night approached, I was more than exhausted once again. I needed to find a good place to camp for the night.

Knowing it would be cold, and only having one blanket, my options weren't looking very appealing. I toughed out my first night on the hard ground, letting god only knew what kind of bugs crawl all over me throughout the night. I welcomed a quick bath in the river the next day. I think my favorite part was going to the bathroom in the wilderness. So much for being a lady.

My food was gone by the end of day two. With only water to sustain me, I pushed on towards my destination. My eyes looked towards the river, and I wondered how hard it would be to catch a fish. I heard the birds tweeting and thought I could try shooting one with my gun. Wouldn't it be ironic if I died by wasting away from hunger? I could just imagine the looks on people's faces.

With no food in my belly and my body aching from the harsh conditions, my mind began to lose track of the days. How many days had it been since I started this journey? Three days? Four days? Four days! It must be four days, right?

With every step I took, I began to dream of the bland meals I had once eaten while on the diet Jacob had set up for me. The very idea caused me to trip. I fell, and I wanted to cry. How stupid was I? I couldn't do this. Couldn't I go without food for even a few days? How could someone as weak as me rescue a person?

I assessed my body to see if there were any cuts from my fall, but my clothing, as dirty as it was, had saved me. I just needed a minute. A quick break. _Don't break down, Bella. Don't be weak_.

I had nothing more I could give of myself. I was no better than Esme or Alice. It was stupid to ever think I could do this. I should have been at home with my child. My poor baby was going to grow up without his parents.

I pulled out the phone and turned it on. I needed to see how far away I was from the Hollowbrook Reformatory. The map loaded, and I had to rub the dirt out of my eyes to see if I was reading it accurately.

Less than two miles.

I had done it!

A weird sense of accomplishment washed over me and held tight for a long minute, and then, it set in. I hadn't done anything. Now came the hard part. My heart began to race, as I pulled myself up from the ground. My empty stomach was long forgotten, now that it was the least of my worries.

Only two miles to go. I should have been running. I should have danced my way the rest of the journey, but with every step I took, I wondered if I was marching towards my death. Now, the real challenge would begin.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing. No, really a big thank you! My heart sings at all your kind words. It also makes me write faster. I'm already done with chapter seven. I'll be posting a teaser for chapter five tomorrow on FB. Chapter five...what can I say? Probably the most screwed up writing I have ever done. Can't wait to see what you think.**

**Also, The Loser has been nominated for fic of the month over at TWIFANFICRECS dot com, if you enjoyed it please go and vote! I would love the honor and appreciate your help!**

**A big thank you to DOLLYBIGMOMMA for stepping up to preread and edit while Fran is on vacay. Thank you, sweets! **

**See you on...Sunday.**

**Story is mine. Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**The White Ward**

When I was a half-mile away from my destination, I found an adequate place to camp for the night. The next morning, I woke up early and washed up in the river. I used my blanket to dry off my body, and then I dressed in the uniform Mrs. Cope had provided me.

For this to work, I would need to be prepared with my story. I went over what Carlisle had said and practiced saying the words, so when I arrived the next day, I would be ready to answer any questions without pause.

I even turned on the phone to locate a white ward the farthest down south, so I could tell them where I had once worked. A place called Atlantic Island.

Before heading up the high hill toward the chilling structure that stood on top of the cliff, I went through my knapsack and pulled out a few items to leave behind. I knew I couldn't walk up carrying a gun or a phone. I couldn't risk my important items be taken. I wrapped the gun and phone in the clothes from the hospital and hid them in the rotted-out trunk of a fallen tree. Hopefully, an animal wouldn't take off with them while I was gone.

It was an arduous trek to get to the front gates of Hollowbrook. My journey was made more difficult because I chose not to use the dirt path and had to climb over rocks and boulders to get towards the top of the cliff. I looked over the reformatory, with its high gray walls and barbed wire fastened around the perimeter. A chill ran up my spine and made me shiver. I repeated in my head over and over, _I can do this. No more time to be weak. Edward could be in that building. You have to do this!_

I stepped out and traveled up the path. I felt the need to swallow, hoping it would hold back the bile that threatened to splatter all over the ground. As I got closer to the wall, I saw a security guard posted outside with a rather large gun.

_Well, it's too late now. He's seen you, Bella. _

The man readied his weapon, but since I was just a girl, he didn't point it at me as he should have. If he had known why I was here, he would have been wise to think me a threat. As I approached, another man stepped out from the booth. Great, they multiplied like bunnies around here.

"Good afternoon," I announced.

"What's your business here, girl?"

I walked the last couple of steps and stopped a few feet in front of the rather tall, chubby fellow. His friend, who looked slightly less threatening, slowly walked up to join us.

"I'm looking for work. The white ward where I worked down south…I was able to get out before they closed the border. I'm hoping I can put my expertise to use. I need money. I'm trying to make it west, now that I have the freedom to do so. I'm hoping the Resistance can make headway there, so I can see my family again."

Was I talking too much? Did I sound nervous?

The guy scratched his chin, as he closely assessed me. He looked over to his friend and said, "I don't know. She looks a little too…clean."

I had to hold back my snort of laughter. Clean? He wouldn't have thought so, if he had known that, not only an hour before, I had been pooping in the river and using the murky water to clean myself with.

"Come here and show me your hands, girl," the less threatening one demanded.

I walked forward, holding my hands out. And then, the memory of Edward looking over my hands the day he had caught me scrubbing the floor popped into mind.

I presented my hands, and the guard roughly grabbed them and ran his fingers over the callouses I had earned while I had been gardening.

He let go and said to the other guard, "No, her hands are too rough for a diamond. She's good."

The chubby, tall guard slowly backed up towards his booth and picked up the phone. He spoke too softly for me to hear what he was saying, but I noticed his weapon was down at his side, so I was hopeful he had bought my lies.

"Name?" he called out to me.

"Isa…" I stop speaking instantly. I was such an idiot. In all the time I had spent coming up with a perfect story, why hadn't I had the good sense to come up with a fake name?

"Isa what?" the guard barked.

"Isa…Cope."

He took a second, before speaking into his phone once more. I hoped this somehow didn't make its way back to Mrs. Cope. However, thankfully, I had used a lesser name, so just in case they decided to dig, they wouldn't find Cope being attached to a prominent family.

The guard got off the phone and waved me up.

"Go straight through to the office. They'll be waiting for you."

He opened an entry gate, and I was surprised at how dark it was through the door. I'd thought on the other side of the wall would be an outdoor area, but alas, it was a darkened hallway, only lit enough to make my way down toward the office. The old saying, "the belly of the beast," popped into mind. The guard closed the door behind me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound. For better or worse, I was in.

I made my way down the narrow hallway. The walls were made of concrete cinderblocks and seemed to rise high enough to wager a second floor. After a minute of walking, I saw a light at the end. My pace quickened to get to the office. Once I got through the hallway, I was met with lots of light shining through an all-glass office. I pulled open the door, and inside was a pleasant girl who reminded me of Alice, with the way she smiled at me.

"Welcome to Hollowbrook. You're here to meet with Marcus? He's our director of staff. Why don't you have a seat, he should be along shortly," she said with a cheerful smile.

I looked around and saw some fancy leather chairs behind me. My feet slid across the tiled floor, but just as I went to sit down, they called for me.

"Isa Cope?"

I looked back, and an elderly gentleman stood with a smile on his face. He was dressed in a fine navy suit and not at all what I had pictured. I would have thought a person working in a place like this would be hardened, but like the receptionist, this man seemed cheerful.

"Why don't you come with me."

I took a small breath and smiled back at him, and with a nod of my head, I followed him down the hall. His office reminded me of Carlisle's study. It had dark, rich mahogany wood, with leather chairs and a nice leather sofa to one side. His walls were covered in bookshelves, with quite a bit of reading material filling them.

"Do you read?" he asked when he caught me marveling at the number of books he had.

"Not as much as I'd like to," I replied.

"Oh…yes, I'd imagine they didn't afford you the luxury much down south." He went to sit behind his desk and then asked, "And which white ward did you say you were from?"

"Oh…um…Atlantic Island. Down south. I worked in maintenance. I was hoping you'd have some work for someone like me. As I told the guards outside, I have family and I'm hoping to save up enough coin to go see."

"Yes, that seems to be the story around here. A lot of our lessers moved on when the Resistance came into power. I know Atlantic Island was a little behind the times, so you might need a quick course in how we do things around here. I can pay you daily, so when you're ready to move on, you can just go on your way. Welcome to Hollowbrook. I'll have Gianna set you up with our uniforms and send in Embry to show you around."

He stood up and held out his hand. I nearly messed the whole thing up by gently squeezing his hand, as a lady would have done. I quickly changed my hold and shook it, applying pressure and hoping he wouldn't realize my mistake.

Marcus walked me back out to the peppy receptionist and asked that she supply me with a proper uniform. He told Gianna to call down to Embry and have him come up and give me a quick tour.

Once I was dressed in a light orange dress, with white stockings and a white cap, I waited in the sitting area for this Embry. Embry wasn't at all like I had thought he would be. Call me silly, but when I used to think of the white wards, I had always thought they would have beefy, strong guards and workers to ensure the inhabitants were kept at bay. So far, I hadn't seen many guards beside the ones on the outside, and Embry looked as if a strong breeze would knock him over.

"Are you Isa?" he asked, smiling as he walked up.

So many cheery dispositions in a place like this caused me to wonder if they were peddling happy pills.

"Yes," I said, rising and moving to shake his hand.

"Follow me," he waved me along, and I followed obediently.

"Marcus said you worked out of Atlantic Island?"

I nodded my head to confirm.

"Well, things are a little different here. We're short-staffed, so unfortunately, we may need you to do more than you were accustomed to doing."

My stomach growled loudly. I grabbed my abdomen and apologized softly.

"Hungry? We can go by the cafeteria first, if you'd like? The food is crap, but it sticks to your bones."

"Really?" I asked anxiously.

"Sure."

I felt bad for abandoning the very reason I had come here to go off and fill my stomach, but I had gone nearly three days without food. I'd think Edward would forgive me for losing focus for a couple of minutes.

We walked into a small dining room with about ten tables, and the smells that came out were divine. After I'd had a few days of food in me, I wondered if I would become bored with the menu options, since Embry said they served the same meals every day. I figured some food was better than no food. At least they had made some fruits available. You couldn't go wrong with a good apple or banana.

After we ate a quick meal, we moved our tour onward.

"Okay, so, as I said, maintenance workers are responsible for many tasks here. I'm sure you might've only dealt with disposal, but here, we'll have a few other things to add to your chores."

Disposal?

"Usually, I start in a room and do all the disposal first, and then I turn on the hoses. Then, pan replacement, meds, and finally, I finish with the deceased. Find a rhythm that works for you and go from there."

Everything out of Embry's mouth made me nervous for what I was about to see and do.

"Follow me and help me do a room, and then you can try a room by yourself. Okay?"

I nodded and followed him through a closed door. I felt myself stumble when I took in the sight before me.

There were no windows to let in natural light. Call me crazy, but that was the first thing I noticed, after the obvious. When I said obvious, I meant the fact that there were nearly fifty people sitting in chairs, staring straight ahead at nothing. Lifeless.

The smell was overwhelming, but the horrors I was witnessing were able to keep me from gagging at the awful stench. There were drains in the plain concrete floor, and the walls were a shiny white and looked as if they were lined with plastic.

My mouth opened in shock, but thankfully, I managed to control my face, before Embry looked back at me. I smiled at him, but I worried it looked fake. He didn't seem to notice. He walked over and grabbed a cart with a large trashcan attached to it.

I slowly moved to join him. I tried not to tremble, as we came to the first row, where a woman who appeared to be in her late forties sat, staring into space. I saw her blink every so often, but she stared directly at me, with no hint in her eyes that she could see me. Her hair was completely matted, and she had a sheet draped over her body. Her upper chest had a strap wrapped around it, probably done to keep her body in place, and around her neck dangled a necklace. It was fitted with a square disk that had tubes sticking out of it. The tubes ran along her body to an IV that had been inserted into her right arm.

"So, I like to do the disposal first, because I can't stand breathing it in," Embry said. He pulled out two gloves from a box and proceeded to pull them onto his hands. He tossed me two gloves so that I might do the same. It reminded me of a happier time when I had volunteered at the hospital.

A thought came to mind of the last time I had been at the hospital, and I feared I might never be able to think back on my time when I had loved working there without an image of Carlisle

Embry leaned down to pull a pan out from under the woman's chair. Inside was a mixture of urine and watery poop. He took the contents and dumped them into the trashcan, and then he placed the dirty pan on the cart.

"Well, come on. This can't be so different than what you're used to. Jump in and help me clear this room."

I stumbled forward and did everything he had just done to the woman who was staring at me. I wanted to not look at their faces, but I had to. What if one of these people was Edward? I hated looking at them. I felt as if I was staring at a corpse. I might as well have been.

When we made it to the second row, I noticed some people were staring at a photo attached to the chair in front of them. I ran my fingers over one of the photos and paused. It looked like a picture of a young girl from a prominent family. I knew she was because her clothing was fancy.

"You guys don't have photos down south?"

"No," I lied. Hell, if I knew whether they put photos on the backs of chairs. I guessed it was a kindness. To let the person stare at a photo of a loved one.

But just when I thought this place couldn't get any worse, Embry went on to explain the photo thing. Apparently, when a person was sent to the white ward for a horrible crime, it was their practice to display a photo of the person who was the reason they had been sent here. The little girl wasn't this man's beloved. She was someone the man had hurt, and now, he was forced to spend the rest of his life in some suspended animation, staring at her photo.

Embry and I finally finished with disposing of the feces, as Embry called it, before he moved on to the hoses next.

"Stand over here," he directed.

I stood in the corner behind him, as he pulled a long gardening hose from off the wall. He turned on the high-powered water and then proceeded to hose down the prisoners. The sheets that clothed them were drenched and dripped onto the cement floor. Once Embry had finished hosing them off, he wrapped the hose back up and then turned a dial on the wall. A loud sound came from overhead, and suddenly, I felt a rush of heat blow from above to dry everyone and everything off.

I could feel myself begin to sweat, as Embry stood by the dial and looked to the clock. I couldn't complain, because it was a kindness to not leave these poor people freezing in their cold wet sheets. After ten minutes, Embry turned the dial off and shut down the heater. Most of the sheets were dried now.

Embry walked over and pulled up another cart of clean pans, and we started placing them back under the chairs. Then, he grabbed a taller cart and pulled it along. This cart was filled with the plastic squares I recognized as what hung around the first woman's neck, which was where he started.

"First, you scan their bar code with this handy little scanner, and it'll give you a readout of their vitals. A good way to know for sure if the prisoner is dead, just in case you can't tell."

He then proceeded to pull the tubes from out of the square and tossed the used medication square into a bin on the cart. He grabbed a new one and then hooked up the new square, placing each tube into it precisely.

"I know our medication system is probably different from what you had down south, but you'll be surprised at how simple it is."

"How long do I have to change one? Just in case something happens, like I run out and have to leave to get more squares. They aren't going to suddenly wake up, right?" I asked in a worried tone. Honestly, I was asking in hopes that it would give me a good indication for when I found Edward.

"Oh, don't worry about that. They might come to after five or so minutes, but most of these people would find it very hard to walk or even move. Some have been here so many years, I doubt they'd ever walk again due to the atrophy."

I smiled and said through my teeth, "Great."

Embry helped me change a medication pack, and then I went on and proceeded to help him finish the room. Somehow, this was the most disturbing task so far. Knowing I was hooking these people up with the very same medication that kept them in this sad state.

People often believed the worst thing about life was dying. After today, I believed dying would have been a kindness. Which brought me to my last task.

"Okay, so, lucky us, since no one died in here today, so at least we won't have to worry about that, but if, say…this woman died, for example," he said, pointing to the very same woman who had caught my eye, "Since we're so short-staffed, we don't have anyone running the bodies anymore and have to do it ourselves. You'll grab one of the gurneys from over there and roll it over to the prisoner, and then you run the chains to them to help you lift."

He walked over towards the wall, and there were two chains hanging down. He pulled them along a track that was bolted to the ceiling towards the woman in the chair.

"Just fasten the chains around her waist, unlatch her strap, and then pull on this chain to lift her and guide her down onto the gurney," he instructed, pulling the woman up like a horror-movie puppet show. She folded in half, her vacant eyes staring at me all the while. Her sore-covered bottom was exposed for all to see. "Take the gurney downstairs, and the mortician will look over the body and then dispose of it."

Embry dropped the woman back into her chair, and then he re-strapped her and readjusted her to sit correctly, so she might continue to defecate properly. He dragged the chains back towards the wall and then turned around and smacked his hands together.

"All right. Ready to do a room on your own?" he said with such happiness.

I nodded and attempted to keep my wits about me. I wanted to run into the nearest bathroom and vomit all over the floor. I wanted to begin crying and never stop. This couldn't be what Edward's life had become.

I shook off all the negative feelings. They wouldn't do me well to dwell on them. If Edward was in one of these rooms, then the best thing I could do was get through this as fast as I could to save him.

"I'm ready!" I said, plastering a fake smile on my face.

Embry dropped me off in the room next to the one we had just finished. He made a little joke to see who could make it through faster. He wanted to race me. I wanted to hate the man, because how could he be so cavalier about this job? However, the more I thought about it, I decided the poor man had probably cracked years ago, no longer able to see the horror show his life had become.

It wasn't Embry's fault. I was sure it had been many years ago when he had originally been placed here. He had probably been just like me, shocked when he had first arrived. Horrified. Sickened. Disturbed. But after doing this job for so many years, maybe he had lost his mind. Not enough to land him in a seat beside one of the people he took care of, but enough to not see human beings anymore, when he walked into the rooms.

I went about pulling the pans that held the nauseating contents and dumping them into the trashcan. I didn't know why, but for some reason, the smell got to me more this time around. Maybe because I no longer had the shock to keep my brain busy, so it wouldn't notice the smell. As I went, I looked into every single pair of eyes that stared back at me. When I noticed it was a female, I would glance over them. No need to waste what little gumption I had left.

As I went down the last row of prisoners, I began to feel hopeless. How many rooms were in this facility? What if Edward wasn't here? What if I was doing all this for nothing? What if I couldn't lie my way into the next white ward? What if I broke down and never got back up again? The workers from this place tossing me out, when they finally realized I had no prior experience in a white ward.

I wiped a tear that threatened to escape with the back of my gloved hand. I squeezed my eyes super tight and mentally smacked myself. Here I was, crying over my sad little position, and Edward was stuck in a chair somewhere, drugged and suffering. He had it so much worse than I did.

After the pep talk, I moved on towards the final pans. I pulled out a pan and looked up at the gentleman. An old man who was probably nearing death. I tossed the contents inside the trashcan and dumped the dirty pan on top of my pile.

I pushed my cart and went to pull the next pan out, but then I caught sight of the picture on the back of the chair. It was a small photo of Edward and me. I recognized it as having been taken at Alice's Blessing Celebration from the dress I was wearing.

I pulled the photo off the chair and stared at it. We were smiling in the picture. We looked happy. I pulled it towards my chest and said another prayer for Edward. And that was when it hit me.

I slowly turned and looked into the eyes of the man who was being forced to stare at our picture.

Jacob Black.

* * *

**AN: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. You make my heart sing with your kind words and my fingers type faster. Also thank you for taking the time to go and vote for The Loser over at Twifanficrecs dot com! I appreciate the time you took to support my writing!**

**Big THANK YOU to Dollybigmomma for taking the time to edit this chapter!**

**See you soon...off to write the chapter Edward finally appears :-P**


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

**A Weighty Decision**

I didn't know how long I must have stood there, staring at Jacob Black. My mind played tricks on me. The longer I stared, the more unfamiliar the man sitting before me would become.

I thought back to when he would dance around me happily, with his carefree smile and the way he would laugh, and I felt responsible for what had happened to him. I knew it wasn't my words that had sent him to this godforsaken place, but I certainly wasn't innocent. Even after Jessica had told me of the awful things he had said about me, I would never wish this fate upon him.

I folded the picture that was still clutched to my body and placed it within my bra. I couldn't return it for fear someone might recognize me, and I certainly did not want Jacob staring at it for the rest of his natural life.

I leaned down and pulled the tray out from under him and proceeded to dump the contents into the trashcan. My eyes never left Jacob's lifeless body, but I could not look him in the face for what I had done.

For a few seconds, my mind traveled to the two syringes Carlisle had given me. I only needed one to save Edward.

"How's it going in here?" Embry asked, coming through the door with such vigor it banged against the wall, nearly causing my heart to stop. "You're still on pans? You're going to have to work a lot harder to catch up. I just finished with the heater."

I pushed my cart towards the wall, trying to ignore his boasting behavior.

"I think the food may have subdued me. Don't worry, I'll catch up." I pulled the hose from off the wall and walked to the corner where Embry was.

"Well, I'd say we each do two more rooms, and then we should be in fine form to break for lunch. Lunch is the best meal around here. They serve pudding at lunch."

I smiled back at him, and he finally left me with my corpses. I mentally smacked myself for thinking of these people as such. It was rude. I sighed and turned on the hose to start spraying everything down. I even went to the trouble of trying to spray the undersides of the chairs a little, hoping it would help clean the inmates off better.

I continue to go through the motions Embry had taught me. I tried not to look at Jacob Black again, but I would catch my eyes betraying me and gazing over to his corner every few minutes.

The moment I was done with that room and out the door, I felt a surge of relief befall me. I was able to breathe once again.

Embry took me to the next room, and this time, before I started, I went up and down every aisle to see if there were any more surprises awaiting me. Good or bad.

No Edward and no one I recognized, so I went through the motions once again, pulling out the trays and dumping the disgusting contents. I noticed every single person's excrement looked exactly the same. An odd observation, I knew, but curious. It caused me to wonder if the women still had their monthly cycles, or if the medication this place was pumping into them took care of that, too.

It was on my third row that I finally came across my first dead body. A darker-skinned man who looked to be in his fifties had passed. I looked around, as if I was being watched, and reached out to place my fingers on his neck. I stared at him and waited for his chest to rise, but nothing came.

I left my cart and went to find the scanner. I brought it back and pulled his square disk and proceeded to scan the barcode.

The vitals popped up, and then the screen flashed, "DECEASED. READY TO TRANSPORT."

I wondered if I should continue and finish the room first before moving him. Embry would have to show me where to take the body. I went ahead and pulled a gurney over and returned to the wall to bring the chains into position. I did everything Embry had shown me. I wrapped the chain around the man's body, before releasing him from the strap around his chest, and then I proceeded to pull him up. It was much tougher than how Embry had made it look. I pushed the body over to the gurney, and then I released the chain, but a little too prematurely. The body dropped hard and smacked the top of the metal gurney with such a loud thud, it made me cringe.

'Sorry," I apologized, even though the man wouldn't be able to appreciate the sentiment. I pushed the gurney over to the side and held back my tears. No! I would not cry over this. No!

I continued my work and went about the room more quickly than I had with the previous room. When I was finished, I went outside to find Embry, pushing the gurney with my deceased. I parked it outside the room and briefly wondered if I should have left the man inside. It felt creepy hanging out in the hallway with a dead body.

I didn't have to wait long. Embry came out and laughed at the sight of me.

"Did you best me? Wow! I have to say, I'm impressed."

"Thanks," I replied. "Uh…I have a…body. Can you show me where to take him?"

Embry waved me along, and I proceeded to push the gurney and follow behind him. We went down the hall and then headed towards an elevator, which was large enough to fit two gurneys in if need be.

Embry reached out and poked the button marked "B." I felt the elevator shake and then proceed to move us downward.

"They put all the bodies in the basement, since it's cooler down there. It helps in the summer, so it doesn't smell as bad when they get a backlog of customers," Embry laughed at his little joke. "We only have one coroner on site, and he only comes every Tuesday, so sometimes, there can be as many as twenty bodies waiting around for the guy to come."

"What do they do with the bodies?" I asked.

Embry shrugged. "Well, they first check that the person is indeed dead. They scan the barcode, so they can take the person out of the system, and then they cremate the remains."

"They don't return the remains to the families?"

Embry laughed. "No, why would anyone want the remains of some criminal? I mean…I think they send a letter, so at least they know. They also send out a letter to the person they wronged, so at least there's some relief for all parties."

Once again, I thought of Jacob, and I wondered, if the Resistance hadn't taken over, would Edward or I have received such a letter, when Jacob had finally passed? Somehow, in that reality, I didn't think I would have been as relieved as Embry suggested.

The elevator stopped, and the doors opened. Embry swaggered out, and I pushed the gurney, following out after him once more. The second I stepped off the elevator, my nose was assaulted by the stench. I nearly vomited from it.

"Yeah, it gets pretty ripe down here, but it's Saturday, so that's understandable."

We walked down a dark corridor with a concrete floor. It was about ten degrees cooler down here than up top, where we had just been. I imagined we must have been in the mountainside. There were no windows, only electric lights overhead that barely lit the path.

We entered a room, and once again, I was in shock at what I saw.

Embry grabbed the other side of the gurney and pulled it towards the center of the room. On the ground to the left was a mountain of dead people, tossed aside as if they were nothing more than bags of trash. Embry walked over and grabbed a scanner and proceeded to scan the barcode on the square disk that was attached to my gentleman. He then pulled the gurney the rest of the way in and lined it up to the pile. He pushed a button on the gurney, and the top of it sprung up forcefully and flung the body onto the pile.

"Not quite a perfect landing. I guess there'll be no medal for this athlete," Embry joked, kicking the man's sprawled legs out of the way of a door that was behind the pile. He pushed the gurney's top back down so it would catch. "Okay, let's get back up and do one more room, and then we can get to that pudding."

Embry rubbed his hands together, his thoughts lost on his pudding dreams, while my mind was replaying the horror show of this day over and over again.

I was soon on to the next room, where I began by quickly checking through the rows to see that Edward was not amongst these people. I felt a little defeated, but I was not so naïve as to believe it would be as easy as suffering through a couple of rooms, finding him on my first day of work, and being on our way to Mexico by nightfall.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that, when I went to pull the last crap-filled pan, I pulled a little too hard and sloshed the contents all down my dress. I paused, completely horrified, as I stood there with the mushy yellow mess slowly traveling down my dress and dripping onto the floor. I dumped the rest of the contents into the trashcan and threw the pan on top of the pile, before moving towards the hose. Closing my eyes, I quickly squirted off the front of my dress, leaving me drenched, but at least it didn't smell of poop.

I proceed to hose down the rest of the room and push the feces that had landed on the floor with my sprays to move it towards the drain. This time, I stood near the inmates, while the heater overhead did its work. I still had a nasty stain on my orange dress, but at least it was only slightly damp, when I turned the dial to stop the heater.

Embry was excited, when he saw he had beaten me this time around. He still thought we were playing a game of who could be the better worker at the psycho-ward. He noticed my stained dress and proceeded to laugh at me.

"What'd you do, try and take a bath?"

I sighed and shrugged. "It happens."

"Come on. I'll show you where you can get cleaned up, before we go and eat."

For the first time in my life, I didn't feel the joy that came from knowing a meal was heading my way. After everything I'd had to endure today, I would have much rather kept working and then headed back to my woods and starved.

"I'm not sure if you're staying local, but if you're not, these can be a great place to rest your head, if you don't want to travel to get home."

Embry opened the door to a small room. A cot ran along one entire wall, and another small wall hid a tiny bathroom.

"The door locks, and the cot can be mighty comfy. If you need a change of clothes, the supply closet is out the door and to the left. Take what you need. As I said, we're so short-staffed, they don't mind if you stay here, if it means you'll work longer hours. Get cleaned up, and I'll see you in the cafeteria. It's just back down the hall and on the right."

He left me alone, and I felt relief at his absence. I went back out the door and opened the supply closet door, and I was surprised at the contents. There were all different kinds of uniforms for men and women, and shoes to boot. I grabbed another dress in my size and some new shoes, since the ones I had been wearing were pretty dirty from being outside for the past few days. I took another pair of socks as well. On the other side of the closet, the shelves were filled with baskets that held soap, shampoo and other necessary hygiene items, including pee-pee pants. I nearly lunged at those, since my supply was done and gone, and I still needed them.

I headed back into the mini-bedroom and slipped into the shower. I'd thought the best shower I'd ever had was at Mrs. Cope's, but after spending four days taking baths in the river with no soap, this had to be the best shower of my life.

I discarded my dirty clothes in a hamper near the door and headed off towards the cafeteria, feeling like a new woman. Sure, the cot would be a far better choice than the dirty ground in the forest, but I just couldn't stomach being in this building any longer than I had to be.

Embry was sitting at a table with a few people and waved me over, when he saw me walk into the cafeteria.

"I already got you a plate," he said with a smile.

I walked over awkwardly, glancing at the mystery mush on their plates, before I sat down. I looked around at the people at the table, and Embry introduced them. "Isa, may I introduce you to Senna, her sister, Zafrina, and Laurent. They work in maintenance, too."

"How do you do," I replied softly.

"So, Embry told us you're from down south. Atlantic Island. How did you like it down there?" Senna asked.

She was very beautiful. Both sisters were. Tall, with skin that looked kissed by the sun, and long black hair. Senna had two braids that went passed her breasts, and Zafrina had a long ponytail down her back.

"Um…it was hot, and uh…different than here. Obviously…" I trailed off, feeling stupid. I didn't know the first thing about the south. I had never been. I tried to remember any movies I had seen on the subject, but there weren't many. "We didn't have to do as many tasks as we do here, but I'm…learning the ropes."

"Yeah, you can't complain. This place makes awesome pudding!" Embry said, stuffing his mouth enthusiastically with the odd gray concoction.

All three of the other workers at the table agreed, doing the same. I looked down at the nondescript mound of food on my plate and began to pick at it, eating it slowly, the cup of gray pudding pushed off to the side for now. For once, pudding didn't look so appetizing. I wanted to forget it, but Embry kept urging me to try it until I caved. Once I took a bite, I was surprised it didn't taste so bad. In fact, before I realized it, I'd finished the whole cup.

Once lunch was over, Embry took me to go and clean more rooms.

"So, every morning when you arrive, the head office will hand you a schedule of what rooms you're to do that day. Once we finish this list, we can go home," he explained.

"How many rooms are there?" I asked, hoping to gauge how long I could be here.

"I think thirty are filled right now. We have another roomful of diamonds, but they're kept apart from the general population..." My heart stopped when I heard that word, and suddenly, I tuned out Embry's voice. Diamonds. That was what they called us now. If Edward was here, he would be in that room. "…We only have the one roomful of diamonds. Upstate got most of them, but we all like to flip through the rotation of that room, because there's something so satisfying about looking into the dead eyes of those assholes. You know?" he laughed once again.

"I know what you mean. I'd…love nothing more than to laugh at their…pain," I replied, trying to sound as crude as he was.

"Well, you'll get your chance. I'm sure by the end of the week, you'll make it in there."

I already felt my heart singing at his words. At least, I wouldn't be here for months on end, waiting to make it through every room. The rest of the day, I nearly skipped through my chores. No longer did the sight of the damned bother me as much. I'd even had to deliver another dead body, and I couldn't find it in me to care. Edward could be here, and I could see him within a week's time.

Excited at the prospect of seeing Edward so soon, I took Embry up on staying overnight in the tiny room with the cot. When I went to clock out at the head office, Gianna had my identification badge ready for me. I waited a few minutes, while she sorted out the coins I had earned for my work for the day.

I went to the cafeteria for dinner and even indulged in another cup of pudding. Once I was back in my room for the night, I lay on the cot and pulled out the picture I had stuffed in my bra. It was a little wrinkled from being stowed all day, but the lamination had kept it safe from my impromptu fecal bath. I stared at Edward's face and smiled, feeling happier than I had been in days. I felt a sense of serenity come over me, and I dozed off easily. It was one of the best night's sleep I'd ever had.

The picture lay on the floor, when I finally awoke the next morning. I hid it under the pillow, while I headed off for another shower. I changed my clothes once again and stuffed the picture back into my bra for safekeeping.

Before clocking in the next day, I enjoyed a light breakfast of more mystery mush in the cafeteria. After I had finished, I went to clock in and received my list of rooms for that day. Gianna was nice enough to give me directions towards my row of rooms.

As I approached the first room, I heard a host of commotion heading my way. A man was yelling and kicking, as two big guards carried him right into the room I was to begin in. The sheet covering his body flipped up, caused me to see his privates. I turned away and stood in the corner, while the guards strapped him to the chair and held down his arm to place the IV. All the while, the man was looking at me in terror, screaming for help.

It took only two minutes, before he would become as lifeless as the other inhabitants. The guards left, and I went about my job, happy that his would be one less pan for me to have to clean.

I danced through the room, performing my duties and making a little game out of it. I found myself able to get through much more quickly. Today seemed so much easier than yesterday. Embry came and checked in on me, and we made a joke about who could beat who to lunch. Loser lost their pudding.

With a new reason to really put effort into my job, I worked harder and faster than ever before. When I arrived at lunch, Embry was already sitting in his seat. I huffed and begrudgingly handed over my pudding, which he proceeded to inhale with gusto in front of me with his silly grin.

I was so irritated I had lost my pudding that I didn't eat anything else and decided to just go back to work. It was then I realized that, because I had been so invested in the wager Embry and I had made for that damn pudding, I had forgotten to check the faces of the people I had cleaned up.

What was happening to me? How could I have already forgotten why I was here in the first place?

I stood outside of the cafeteria, shaking my head at the change in my disposition. I looked back inside, and the four people I sat and ate with were all laughing with one another, while they happily ate their gray pudding.

I had made a joke when I had first arrived that maybe the workers in here were being drugged, but now, I started to wonder if I was right.

I went back through the rooms I had already cleaned and quickly scanned through the people's faces to make sure none of them were Edward. I wasn't sure which room held the diamonds. I wondered if Embry would tell me if I asked.

The rest of the day, I kept on with my tasks, trying to focus on my true feelings. Trying to remember that the sights I was witnessing were horrific. Trying not to let whatever drugs were in my system win.

I chose to not stay at Hollowbrook that night. I worried they might have been lacing the air with some type of mind control gas. I needed the fresh air outside to remind me of my mission. I would use the shower, yes, but from then on, I would choose to eat only fresh, raw foods from the cafeteria, using a wet washcloth I would carry with me to discretely wipe off everything I ate as best as I could. When questioned, I would just say I was on a diet to lose weight. No one could argue with that.

Once the guards knew me and trusted me, I decided to try and smuggle in the syringes Carlisle had provided me. I could only take in one, as I hid it in the band of my bra on my back. Thankfully, the orange uniform had become baggy enough on me that it was undetectable. Once I was inside, I felt relieved, as I headed off towards a supply closet, choosing to hide it in the very back behind a bunch of blankets.

By the end of the week, I was finally given the diamond room to clean. I headed to that room first at the beginning of my shift. I quickly ran through all the inmates and felt the stab to my heart, when I saw Edward wasn't amongst them.

Once again, I felt the need to cry. I scrunched my eyes tight to hold myself off. When I opened them, my eyes fell on a man sitting in the front.

My heart stopped, and then suddenly, it went into overdrive. I walked closer to see if it was, in fact, who I thought it was.

Emmett McCarty was sitting lifelessly in front of me. Rosalie's tearful pleas entered my mind, but I shook the thoughts away and moved out of the room, not even beginning my tasks within.

Aimlessly, I walked to the next door on my list and went through the motions, but Emmett's face didn't go away. Rosalie's pleas only grew louder, but I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk saving Emmett, when I still had to leave this place tonight and move on towards my next destination. I couldn't give Emmett the chance that should go to Edward.

I didn't even know Emmett. I didn't even like Rosalie.

So, why was I being plagued with thoughts of doing the right thing? What _was_ the right thing?

I skipped over lunch and headed towards the tiny room that had the cot and small shower. I needed to clear my mind, so I stood and let the water flow over my body, hoping it would cleanse me in more ways than one. I felt my tears slowly falling, but with the water pelting my face, I told myself they weren't real. Angered by my predicament, I banged my hands into the wall. I wanted to scream, but I knew I couldn't.

My beautiful baby boy's face popped into my mind. During the past week, I had tried not to think of my son. I worried that any thoughts I indulged in could paralyze me. I thought of Esme holding him and promising me how she would tell him someday about his father. It hurt even more, when her words played through my head of her promising to tell him about his brave mommy, too.

Brave? I was not brave. I was stupid. A brave person would take the risk and give those magical drugs to Emmett, knowing she would be keeping her word to Rosalie to try and help him. A brave person wouldn't run away from a moral dilemma. She would get out of this shower, get dressed, go to that supply closet, and get that syringe.

I was not brave, but I already had enough sins on my head. If I left here and just went to get Edward, I knew I would be plagued with images of Emmett for the rest of my life. Even if I did manage to make it down to Mexico with Edward and be reunited with my boy, someday, I would have to tell him about his cowardly mother and the decision she had made that had broken a promise and cost a man his life.

I placed the syringe in my pocket and slowly headed off to finish the rooms. The weight of my decision caused me to move slower, as I fought with myself the whole day.

Embry came in, just as I finished my second to last room. He laughed, teasing that even skipping lunch hadn't helped me any. He was out the door and on his way to bed.

I headed towards my last room. The diamond room. I walked inside and stood there, staring at Emmett McCarty, my finger running over the cap on the syringe in my pocket.

_Now is the time to decide. What kind of person are you going to be, Bella Swan? What kind of person do you want your son to look up to?_

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I know that last chapter freaked you out with the description of the white wards. Yes...this just keeps getting creepier and creepier. **

**Thank you to DOLLYBIGMOMMA for editing! You're wonderful!**

**If you get a chance, please go and vote for THE LOSER over at TWIFANFICRECS dot com! Thank you soo much for everyone who took the time! You can vote once a day.**

**Teaser for seven is posted tomorrow and I can now say definitively that Edward is coming in chapter 9 so hold on there.**

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**Emmett**

_There was a beautiful blonde-haired girl sitting on a beach, waiting for the sun to color her long, shapely legs one shade darker. She looked up and saw the man she loved walking toward her lounge chair. He picked her up with ease, and they shared a kiss. Suddenly, he ran full steam towards the water's edge and threatened to toss the girl in. She squealed and screamed threats into the wind…_

I could see Rosalie and Emmett McCarty's future.

I pushed the gurney towards the service elevator, with this massive ogre of a man still blacked out unconscious, and I wanted to hate him. Hate that I could see his possible future that so very easily could mean the end to mine.

I stopped by a supply closet and pulled out clothes that looked to be about his size, but I'd never been very good at guessing that kind of thing. If they were too big or too small, tough luck!

I pushed the button, and the doors closed. It was late. There were no windows in this place to tell me if it was dark outside, but I had come to learn over the past few days I had been in here that, the less activity there was, the later it was. Most maintenance workers would have gone home or retired into the small sleeping rooms for the night. The guards would be at their usual posts, and the directors usually cheated off before the sun had set.

Although I was not expecting anyone to be down in the morgue at this hour, I still worried, as I approached the mound of bodies. When I had decided to attempt this stupid mission, I knew I would have to do everything I could not bring attention to myself. What would happen if anyone ever suspected me? I imagined it would make it even more difficult to move on to the next white ward, especially if I found myself stuck in one of those chairs.

When I arrived in the dank, foul-smelling room, I pulled the disc off from Emmett and went over to place it on the chest of one of the deceased. The computer chip inside read the lack of heartbeat on the body, and then it flashed on the screen indicating Emmett McCarty was deceased and ready for transport.

I grabbed the syringe from out of my pocket and stood over Emmett, while I decided what I should do next. It was never my job when I had worked at the hospital to administer drugs. I suddenly was worried about what I was going to do. However, a darker thought occurred, when I thought this would be an excellent test run for when I found Edward.

With the needle uncapped, I held it over Emmett's chest, preparing to plunge it directly in. My eyes closed, as I could not bear to see what I was about to do, but suddenly, Emmett let out a moan. The noise startled me and caused me to jump back. The drugs must have been working their way out of his system.

I shook my head once more and moved forward to stand over him, and without allowing my thinking to get in the way, I stabbed Emmett McCarty in the chest and emptied the contents of the syringe into him with shaking hands.

When it was finished, I pulled it back out and stood there holding my breath, waiting to see if the drug worked.

Suddenly, Emmett's arms and legs spasmed, and he sat up in shock. I stood on his left, still shaking, while the needle was still clutched in my hand. His eyes seemed to shake in their sockets, and then he slowly turned his head to look at me. His eyes narrowed in on my hand holding the syringe, so I quickly dropped it to the floor and held up my hands.

"My name is Isabella Swan. I know your wife. She asked me to help you."

I saw his breathing slow momentarily. "Rosalie?"

"Yes. Rosalie Hale. Er…McCarty now, I guess. You're in a white ward. You were taken, kidnapped, and you've been here for almost three months. I don't have a lot of time to explain. You just have to trust me."

Emmett moved to get off the gurney, and his legs collapsed underneath him. I moved to catch him, but his weight was overwhelming. He grabbed ahold of the gurney and bent over it to help get the movement and feeling back into his legs.

"I'm sorry. I have no idea how I'm going to get you out of here. We don't have a lot of time. I was told this drug I gave you to wake you up from the sedatives this place has pumped into you would only last thirty minutes tops."

"Where are we?" his gravelly voice asked.

"It's a white ward called Hollowbrook."

He nodded his head and stood up by himself for the first time in months. "I know where we are. If you can get yourself out…the proper way, I can get myself out on my own."

"How?" I asked.

"Just leave that to me. Can I meet you somewhere on the outside?" he asked.

I nodded and replied, "About a half-mile down the river, I have some stuff I've been storing in an old tree trunk just inside the tree line of the rocks and the river. If you can make it there before these drugs wear off, that's where I'll be."

I handed him the clothes and shoes I had stolen from the supply closet, and then I walked over and got the coroner's scanner. I went to scan the square that lay on top of the dead body I had used, to officially log Emmett as one of the deceased, ready for cremation. I grabbed the syringe from off the floor, and Emmett moved to take it from me.

"We should keep that. It could come in handy. I'll take it."

I handed him the syringe and fished the cap from out of my pocket, so he could protect himself from the pointy end. Emmett looked over the room. Why? I was not sure, but I could tell he wasn't nearly as horrified at the corpses in the pile as I had been, when I had seen them the first time.

"How are you going to get out of here?" I asked again.

"Don't you worry about me, Miss Swan. I have a feeling I'll be out of this building before you will. I'll see you down the river. Now, go!" he ordered.

I shook my head at his bossy order and stiffly walked out of the room. In the elevator, I felt my nerves kick in. Now came the hard part. Leaving this place quietly, with no one the wiser of the crime I had just committed.

Gianna's smiling face put me at ease, as I scanned my identification badge to clock out. I said a polite goodnight and turned to leave.

"Isa!" she called out. "Aren't you forgetting something?" I turned back around and stared at her, wondering what she meant. "Your pay for the day?"

I laughed and walked back to her. "Can't forget that now, can we?" I laughed, hoping it didn't sound too fake.

Gianna took her sweet time counting the coins directly into my hand. I'd swear she was doing it on purpose. Probably trying to allow enough time for the guards to ready their weapons.

But when I arrived outside, the guards on duty gave me a friendly, "Good evening," and didn't stop me from going on my way. My feet started off slowly, expecting that, any moment, a threatening word would come my way. When I was out of sight, my feet moved more quickly, until I went through the woods and began nearly running down the mountain. Well…not running, as it was so dark now that I didn't want to trip over some rock, but as quickly as I was moving, I was surprised I didn't fall down the slope.

My breaths were labored, so I finally slowed my pace, and then I kept my eyes open and ears ready for any foreign sounds to alert me of Emmett's whereabouts. I knew we must have been running out of time. I would need to stash Emmett in a place he wouldn't be found, while the rest of the drugs Hollowbrook had pumped into him worked their way out.

I found the log where I had kept my belongings hidden and waited, wondering if I would ever see Emmett McCarty again. He seemed rather sure of himself on how he had been planning to escape. I didn't know how he appeared to know so much. Perhaps I would ask him, that was if he was, in fact, victorious in his jailbreak. It could help me, when I moved on to the next white ward.

It was both a good and bad thing that Emmett was so large. Good, because I could see him coming, and bad, as it would be a lot harder to keep this man concealed while he detoxified.

He was moving at a jogging pace, but I could tell he was battling. I jumped up from the ground and came out from behind the tree to hurry to him.

"Emmett!" I whispered loudly.

He stopped and looked over to me, and his face lit up. "Oh, man! I don't think I can go much further. I used to be in shape, but…I feel…"

He was losing the battle at remaining coherent.

"Come on, we have to hide you somewhere, while your blood cleans itself from their poison."

He flopped one of his heavy arms around my neck, and I nearly gagged at the smell. His clothing was wet, and I made a face at the feeling of it dampening my own clothes, as we walked down along the river. The farther we got, the heavier he became.

"No! Go that way," he directed. "Keep going."

He moved me to head south.

"I don't know where you're taking me to, but we don't have time. We must hurry. I can't carry you on my own," I snapped.

"Up ahead."

I was just about to dump his dead weight and let him figure it out himself, when I saw what he was gesturing to. Up ahead was a small cave made from giant boulders. It was on the edge of the water. I imagined during the rainy months, it would probably be filled, but for now, it was open.

I pulled at his arm harder and elbowed him in the stomach to stay conscious. Going down the rocky path to get inside wasn't easy. Emmett fell down and crawled into the cavern, where he proceeded to pass out.

I pulled out my knapsack and rummaged through the items I had. When I thought I might be leaving Hollowbrook, I began to swipe an apple from the cafeteria and leave it with my knapsack every night. I pulled one out and began to eat it, secretly annoyed with myself for not taking in one last meal.

Tomorrow, I would be back on my journey to get to the next white ward, and once again, I wouldn't have any food for the trek besides my apples. I didn't know if Emmett would be awake by the time I went to leave, but I couldn't wait around for him. My good deed was more than fulfilled.

The next morning, I awoke and looked over to the huge mound lying on the ground near me. I packed up my bag and looked Emmett over to make sure he was still breathing. I pulled out my phone and checked the GPS device to see how I should go about finding the next white ward. When I had a plan in place, I stood up, ready to leave, but hades be with me, I couldn't go.

I kicked the rock wall, angry that I wasn't strong enough to leave the ogre behind. Then, I felt even worse for mentally calling him an ogre. I was sure Emmett McCarty was a very fine gentleman, not at all like the insufferable girl he had left behind.

I wanted to leave, but I didn't. If Emmett woke up and I was not here, he wouldn't know the first thing about what was going on in our compromised part of the country. He could walk himself back into a precarious situation, and it would be my fault for not waiting for him to wake up. I would give him a quick explanation and then be on my way.

I left the cave and filled my water bottle up from the river, and then I went back to Emmett and proceeded to dump the entire container over him. Emmett immediately jumped up from the ground and started hollering obscenities.

"Oh good! You're up," I said, storing my water bottle back in my bag.

"What the hell did you do that for?" he sputtered.

"Look, I'd love to sit around all day and wait for you to…come to, but you were not my mission. I need to leave. I just wanted to wake you up and tell you a few things before I took off. I thought I was doing you a kindness," I explained.

"Did you have to wake me with a premature shower?" he huffed.

"I…probably not," I cringed. "Sorry."

He shook his head and ran his hand over his face to wipe it clear from the residual water.

"I'm sorry. Who are you again?" he asked. "Everything from…everything is a blur. I'm having trouble figuring out what's real and what was fake."

I sat down and sighed. I pulled out an apple from my bag and handed it to him.

"A couple of months ago, there was an uprising. The lessers…a few of them banded together and became this…faction. They call themselves the Resistance. They've already taken over the north and are now moving out west and trying to take the south. They took all the men from the upper classes and put them in the white wards.

"The women were moved into houses and kept there under guard. I managed to get out. I knew your wife. She was placed at my moth…at Esme Cullen's house. My name is Isabella Swan. I was pregnant with Edward Cullen's child. I don't know if you heard about me. I was the one who got him denied from his family? Well…obviously, that was a mistake.

"I've had the baby, but…now I'm trying to find Edward. I'd hoped he'd be at Hollowbrook, but he wasn't there. Apparently, the majority of the diamonds were taken to the other white ward of the north. Rosalie asked me…if I found you, she asked me to help you. She gave me your picture."

I handed him the picture.

"You'll be happy to know Rosalie was rescued by a Whitlock. Jasper. She was transported down south. Their hope is to flee out of the country through Mexico. That's where you need to go. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but I still have a long journey and a treacherous mission ahead of me."

I never would have believed the man in front of me was the same man from the picture. His face held no sign of the goofy grin he once wore. Emmett looked lost by my words.

"Diamonds?" he asked softly.

"It's what they call anyone of a higher class. If they find out you're one of them, they'll kill you, or worse…send you back to the white ward. Speaking of which…how did you escape?"

I wanted to know before I left. Maybe something he would say would help me in getting Edward out alive.

Emmett shrugged and scratched his head. "My family is known for timber and materials as such, but when I married Rosalie, her family's interests are in building and architecture. I picked up a few things over the years. I knew that every white ward sits on a decent sewer system. I found the manhole and got the cover off and trudged my way through the sewer system. I tried to wash off as best as I could in the river, but I still feel like I smell."

"You do," I commented.

I closed my bag and stood up. "I hope you make it down to Mexico," I said, pulling my knapsack onto my back.

"Wait! You can't go off on your own," Emmett protested, trying to get to his feet.

I snorted and gave him a look. "What do you mean, I can't go off on my own? I've been doing just fine on my own. I saved you, didn't I?"

His implications had me seeing red. With the men all out of our lives, how quickly I had forgotten how they viewed women. Believing we weren't capable. Okay, to be fair, I guessed some women weren't capable, but I had already accomplished quite a feat. I didn't care for his insinuation that I couldn't handle the task at hand.

"It's not safe. You said you had to head to Northern State Reformatory? I know how to get there. I know these woods better than most. It's the least I can do for what you've done for me. Let me help you."

It was the first time I could see something more behind his eyes than the lost expression I had witnessed since I had first met him. But I wouldn't take his help.

"No," I replied softly. "Go to Mexico, Emmett. Go and…find your wife."

Emmett's hand reached out and stopped me from leaving. "Don't be stubborn. That white ward is in black bear country. You can't rescue Edward Cullen, if your innards are being eaten. It's the least I can do for what you've risked. Let me get you to Northern State."

"No," I said once again.

"What's your problem?" Emmett yelled.

"GO TO MEXICO!" I shouted. "I don't need another life on my conscience. I've done my part. Rosalie asked me to help you, and I did. But I don't need your help. Black bears or not, I'll be fine. So, please…go to Mexico."

My chest was heaving hard with my anger, causing me to run out of breath.

"Another life? Who died?" Emmett asked quietly.

I turned around and threw my hands up in the air, before dropping them back down to slap the sides of my legs, as I made great work of staring at the rock wall. "I'm not talking about it."

I heard Emmett's feet shuffle in the dirt. "Well, you should. I don't know who it was, but your stubbornness could cost you your life, and then they would've died for nothing."

I felt the anger boiling my blood. I wanted to turn around and smack him across the face, but I feared it would put my hand out of commission if I followed through with that plan.

"Fine. Don't tell me who it was. Don't tell me what happened, but I'm not going to Mexico, and you'll have a very hard time finding the next white ward without me. It's not exactly easy to find. Plus, I know how to hunt in these woods. You won't starve if I'm with you. Unless that's a magical bag that refills itself with apples?" he mocked.

I nearly growled, when I turn back around to face him. "Fine. Come along if you must. But just so you know, if I make it out of this and you don't…the first thing I'll do is go to Mexico and tell your wife what an idiot you were and how she's a widow because you wouldn't listen."

I grabbed my bag and flung it over my back and pushed past him. Once I filled the water bottle and thermos from the river, I made a crude gesture to Emmett to lead the way.

"We need to cross the river. I don't fancy going anywhere near Hollowbrook. It'll be safer if we go a little out of our way and cross back over a few miles after we pass," Emmett explained.

I looked at the river. Crossing might put us in a precarious situation. It ran fairly fast, and even though I could swim, I didn't fancy getting myself wet and then having to trudge through the forest with wet clothes.

"Can you not swim?" he asked, seeing the worry on my face.

"Of course, I can swim. I just…don't want to be stuck in wet clothes."

"It'll be worth the discomfort to not endanger ourselves by traveling too close to Hollowbrook. If it worries you, then just strip down to your skivvies. I'll be a complete gentleman…"

"Not on your life!" I snapped.

Emmett began to pull off his shirt. "Well, then, don't mind me, because I don't plan to walk in wet clothes. I'll chafe."

I gasped and flipped around, when I saw him begin to pull off his pants. He wasn't wearing anything under them. I'd had my fill of indecency. While Emmett undressed the rest of the way, I pulled my shoes and socks off and stuffed them in my bag. I heard the sounds of Emmett's abnormally large feet slapping the muddy bank, as they splashed their way into the river.

Once he was waist-deep, he called back to me. "Okay, the package is covered, so you can resume looking with those not-so-virginal eyes," he mocked.

I groaned, irritated, and turned back around. Once I did, Emmett began to swirl his hips in the water, while his hands held up his dry clothes over his head. "I can feel the fish floating by my manhood," he jested.

"Maybe one will have the good sense to take in a small meal," I replied.

"Aw, Isabella, if only you'd had the nerve to look, you'd have to eat your words. There's nothing small about me."

"Whatever," I grumbled, stepping into the river with my bare feet. The weight of my dress made it harder, but I didn't regret my decision. However, the knapsack over my head and the boots dangling down were so heavy that my arms began to tremble the further we went.

Emmett looked back and saw me struggling, so he stopped and came back for me. "Give me your stuff."

"No," I refused.

"Stop being stubborn and give me your bag!" He reached out and went to grab the bag, but I stepped backwards and fell in, tripping over a jagged rock.

I jumped up, thoroughly drenched, and saw as my bag began to travel down the river. The boots were gone, and I couldn't see where they had gotten off to.

"NO!" I screamed. I began to take off for it, but Emmett put out a hand to stop me, and suddenly, he dove in and hurried to catch up with it. Thankfully, my bag got caught on a branch, and Emmett was able to catch up with it. He grabbed it and began to trudge back to where I was, his clothes now completely drenched, including his shoes.

I recoiled at the fury on his face, as he tossed the bag at me and didn't say a word.

We got to the other side of the river with no more incidents and all our stuff drenched. I looked away and pulled on my wet shoes and socks, while Emmett redressed himself. I pulled the blanket out of my bag and decided to walk with it in my hand to help it dry faster.

Once Emmett was dressed, he cleared his throat to let me know he was ready. He didn't want to talk to me, obviously still upset over what had happened. I wanted to tell him this was his fault. If he had just listened to me, he could have been well on his way to Mexico. I refrained, fearing any word out of my mouth might lead to dire consequences.

We didn't speak to one another for quite a while, our shoes sloshing along with the ambient sounds Mother Nature provided the only sounds to be heard.

The warmer weather helped dry out our clothes, so after a few hours, we finally were somewhat comfortable again.

"I need to take a break," I finally spoke up.

Emmett stopped walking and took a swig from the thermos I had given him. "Fine."

"I should go through my bag and see if there was any damage."

I pulled off my bag and spilled all the contents onto the ground. Emmett squatted down and perched himself on a rock.

"You have a gun? How did you get that?" he asked, seeing the silver weapon.

"Jasper Whitlock. Thankfully, I haven't needed to use it."

"I might be able to hunt something good for a decent meal…"

"NO! I can't risk wasting the bullets. I might need them for something far more important than a good meal."

Emmett shrugged and replied, "You're probably right. Well, I hope you like rabbit or fish. That's probably the only thing I can catch without a decent weapon."

"Rabbit. Fish. That'd be preferable to nothing."

I sighed, seeing that the pee-pee pants I'd swiped had been ruined in the river. I wasn't sure what I would do now without any sanitary supplies. My only option was to dry them out and hope they would be usable.

My eyes landed on the phone Jasper had given me, and I immediately grabbed it and shook it out. "Dammit!"

Emmett pulled it from me. "It should be fine. They're waterproof, and it wasn't in the water for very long, anyways."

He pushed the button to turn it on, and I breathed a sigh of relief, when the screen lit up.

"Okay, turn it off. Jasper said I shouldn't leave it on, or it could indicate my location, if anyone in the area was looking."

Emmett turned it off and handed it back to me, while I repacked my bag. I checked the black bag with the last syringe inside, and thankfully, it wasn't damaged. I didn't know what I would do if it was. Now that the blanket was dry, I wrapped it around the black bag and stuffed it back into my knapsack.

I handed Emmett an apple and took the last one for myself. We slowly ate them, and I hoped he was sincere about his ability to catch us a decent meal. As of now, we no longer had any more food.

"Well, now that we're dry…" Emmett began, "We have to cross back over."

I let out a groan of frustration at his words.

"And I'm sorry, Princess, but this time, we're doing things my way! I'll carry everything. All you need to focus on is getting yourself across."

I agreed reluctantly. I stowed my shoes and socks in the bag, before Emmett took it from me, and this time, he agreed to keep his long shirt on, thankfully saving me from seeing something I shouldn't.

Crossing the river. Take two!

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I am so amazed by the reviews! I really appreciate all your interest. Thank you for taking the time to vote for THE LOSER over at TWIFANFICRECS.**

**Welcome back Fran from vacation. Thank you to Fran and DOLLYBIGMOMMA for taking their time to edit. Their hard work makes it possible to give you the very best version of this story!**

**TEASER posted tomorrow on my Facebook page. Ashley Victoria.**

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**N.S.R.**

I had to admit, the river crossing went better the second time around, even after having to endure the looks of superiority from Emmett once we were across.

The first night, Emmett managed to catch some fish with his bare hands, create a fire, and cook our meal. I thought he had been kidding, when he had said he would cook the fish, but sure enough, he had gathered up some leaves, found some stones that sparked, and managed to make a fire. I was impressed, even if I didn't say so.

We sat around the fire after eating, Emmett staring into the flames, while I stared at Emmett. Maybe my first impressions of the man had been wrong. I guessed I had put a lot of my own problems on him without knowing it.

I felt embarrassed by my horrid behavior.

"What?" he asked, catching me looking at him.

"Thank you…for today. I still think you're an idiot for not heading south, but I appreciate the food…and…the help," I said begrudgingly, dropping his magical stones into my knapsack with a small appreciative smile.

He threw his head back, laughing out loud. "That was hard for you to say, wasn't it?"

"Yes," I admitted.

He stopped laughing, and his eyes met mine across the fire, as he asked, "Why?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Edward used to say I was a feminist without a backbone. I guess, sometimes, I don't like to be treated like I'm inept, just because of my sex. I know what I'm doing is stupid. I can't believe I've lasted as long as I have. The first few days, I suspected I'd be caught and executed."

"Man, this Resistance is no joke. They really execute people? I mean, it's one thing to throw the prominent families into the white ward. I guess I can understand that move, but to outright kill people…they're really doing that?"

I thought of Carlisle and turned my head away from him, wiping a tear that managed to break free.

"Yeah…they're really doing that."

We sat in silence, while I fought in my mind whether I would tell Emmett about what had happened. Part of me believed he had no right to that piece of my soul, another part telling me that, if I told him, maybe he would understand how serious the situation was.

"Carlisle Cullen was like a father to me. He stood behind me and denied his own son for my sake. He was the best man I knew…"

"Was?" Emmett asked softly.

"The night my baby was born, I told Carlisle I planned on escaping and finding his son. They'd mended their relationship, but Carlisle told me not to try it. He said Edward wouldn't want me to die trying to rescue him, but I didn't listen. I told him I was going, so he…gave me the syringes. The one that helped wake you up.

"He told me he'd create a diversion and help me escape. I didn't realize the diversion he'd planned would get him killed. I escaped. I watched him be shot in the back of the head…and I escaped. Now, if I don't find Edward, his death will have been for nothing. If I do…I get to tell Edward I'm the reason his father is dead."

I swallowed and gritted my teeth to hold back the tears swimming in my eyes.

"You didn't get him killed, Isabella. Carlisle knew what he was doing, and his death isn't on you. It's on those bastards who took the gun and pointed it at his head and fired. Don't you ever think you're to blame for their choices," he said fiercely.

I looked down at the dirt and brought the blanket around my shoulders, feeling a slight chill in the air. Emmett's words were kind, even if they were untrue.

"Bella," I said.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"My name…you can call me Bella."

Emmett nodded.

Once more, we were silent for a long while, watching as the fire began to die down.

"Bella," Emmett began, "The last time you saw Rosalie…what was she like? I've never gone this long without seeing her."

I thought about my time with Rosalie and snorted. "Sorry," I apologized. "It's just…your wife…she's something. We didn't really get along. Our priorities were just…different. She was always complaining about night cream. The guards would only send for the basics. You should've seen her head nearly explode, when we ran out of our good soap, and they sent us the generic unscented kind."

Emmett began to laugh, and I joined him.

"But…in the end, she was the only one who believed I could do this. So…I guess she was right."

"Yeah, that sounds like my girl," Emmett nodded and smiled, while his eyes were lost in his memories.

Emmett lay down on the ground and looked up toward the sky, which looked as though it had been painted expertly with thousands of stars. I might have enjoyed the scene had the circumstances been different. I usually loved partaking in Mother Nature's wonders and beauty, but since I was being forced to live amongst the very nature I usually loved, it had taken its toll on me.

Our travels took us away from the river. Now that I had Emmett, who was pretty handy at catching food and cooking it, we had something to eat, but we now had a different problem. Lack of water.

By day three, we were entirely without water. Emmett told me not to worry, as there was a small village up ahead. I didn't know how I felt being amongst people again.

"I can't go into town," he frowned. "Too many people could recognize me. As I said before, I know this land too well, and I've been to this village before. I sat and drank at the local bar. I can't risk being seen. You're going to have to go in without me. Think you can handle that?"

I nodded.

We were getting closer to the edge of town. We had to go the long way, so Emmett could be close, but he could remain hidden in the forest. Since I had never been to this place, Emmett tried to give me a little direction.

"There should be a store close to the place where I'll leave you. Go straight, and it'll be on your right-hand side. Across from it will be a bar. I used to hang out there a lot," he said with a goofy smile. "There'll be a nice area outside, with a few restaurants and stuff. Just buy a few bottles of water and maybe some food, but not so much that the shopkeeper will think you're up to something. It'll already raise a red flag that they don't recognize you. In this part of the country, it's rare for them to get an outsider, as you've seen from the trek into this place."

I saw a house up ahead, and once more, I was overcome with tension.

"If something seems off, leave. It's not worth it. Okay?" Emmett asked, to be sure I understood.

I nodded my head and left him my bag with everything I owned, just taking the small coin purse that had the money I had earned, plus the money Carlisle had given me.

My feet were slow, as they trudged off towards the town. It would be a lot harder to remain as inconspicuous here as I had managed in the city. I looked around and saw only a few people out walking.

The one thing that caught my eye immediately was a large screen, just like the one I had seen in the city, standing high at the end of the street. No one stood around and waited for it, like they had in the city.

I did as Emmett had told me and headed straight for the store.

A bell on the door rang out as I entered. My nerves were so fried; I nearly jumped at the sound. Thankfully, I didn't. A man standing behind the counter looked up from his book and gave me a smile and a nod of his head.

"Good afternoon," I greeted.

"Good afternoon."

I proceeded to head down the first aisle. Emmett was right; I only needed to get the basics. I placed two large bottles of water into the basket I had taken, when I had entered the store. I headed on towards the fruits and vegetables and took a few apples and carrots. I knew they would last the longest, even though we probably wouldn't have to worry about eating them all before they rotted.

The last things on my list were sanitary pads for myself. The two pair of pee-pee pants I'd had that had dried out from the fall in the river had been horribly uncomfortable. As I was getting those, my eyes caught sight of a small first-aid kit. I surmised it could come in handy, so I threw it into the basket and took my items up to the front.

"You're not from around here," the man said, when I handed him the basket.

"No. I'm making my way north to find my family…now that we can do that," I said.

"Hmm…you're a mighty long way from any of the main roads. I'm not quite sure why your travels would lead you here."

I shrugged, trying to play it off, but inside, I was sweating bullets at his subtle accusations.

"Well…I'm trying to find work at Northern State. I…uh…worked at a white ward down south. I need the money…"

The man looked at me and gave me a questioning eye, but he didn't comment any further.

"That'll be ten coin."

I opened my purse, fished out a ten-piece, and handed it to him. I then pulled the two bags onto my shoulder and proceeded to leave. As I did, I noticed the shopkeeper was following me, probably wanting to see where I was headed next.

Damn nosey townspeople.

Knowing his eyes were on me, I chose to walk in the opposite direction from where Emmett was. Moving towards the big screen, I tried to gauge how I was going to get out of here and back to Emmett.

Suddenly, the large screen lit up, just as I approached. A rainbow of colors in rectangular shapes appeared. I looked around and saw people filing out of the stores and restaurants, coming to watch the update. The once- barren street was now filled, and I took the opportunity to slip away and head back towards Emmett.

I heard the people in the street all murmuring, asking what was taking so long for the update to begin. Just as I had managed to make it to the edge of the forest, the picture appeared, and I heard loud gasps and shrieks come from the audience. I quickly turned around and slapped my hand over my mouth. Three people, covered head to toe in black, stood with their guns pointed at a large group of children. None of the figures' faces were recognizable, as they wore masks to conceal their identities.

"To the leaders of the Resistance, this message is for you. You have fought valiantly, but now, you will surrender yourselves," one of the masked men said.

"In twenty-four hours, if you do not lay down your guns and give up your mission, we will execute every single person in this room. Take a look at them. The children of lessers. This is your future, and they will die if you refuse."

One of the masked culprits pulled a woman violently by her hair, and I recognized her immediately. "Sam Uley, this incentive is for you."

The camera was pointed at Emily. Her face was stained from her tears. She continued to cry and beg, "Please, don't do this. Please…I'm pregnant. Please, don't do this!"

I felt myself ready to cry, as I witnessed my friend pleading for her life and that of the baby inside her. I hadn't even known she was pregnant. A gun was pointed at her head, and her eyes closed tightly, as she prepared for what would come next.

"Twenty-four hours."

The video cut off, and while everyone was still in shock, I quickly headed back towards the trees to find Emmett. The bags in my hands shook, as my body trembled.

Emmett caught me, as I was so lost in my own head, I hadn't even noticed I had gone past where we were to meet.

"Bella, what happened?" he asked, shaking my shoulders to help snap me out of the nightmare.

"We have to go quickly," I whispered.

Emmett took the bags from me, and I pulled my knapsack off him and pulled it onto my own back.

"What happened, Bella?"

I shook my head and squeezed my mouth tightly, but I knew I needed to share with him what I had witnessed, so I quickly gave him the story.

"We have to get to Northern State. I don't know if these people are going to make good on their threats, but if they do, God only knows how the Resistance might retaliate. I have to get to Northern State, now!"

Emmett nodded.

"It's a hike, but it's five miles ahead. I've only seen it a handful of times…"

"But you know how to get there, right?" I snapped, not feeling very patient.

"Well…yeah…but it's not an easy hike. Even your GPS system won't work here. There's no signal in a place like this. Even Northern State has to use landlines. It's bigger than Hollowbrook."

"Great!" I fumed. "I don't have time for this! Goddammit!"

"Bella, I'll get you there…and I have something for you."

I stepped back with a questioning look.

"When you do find Edward and get him out, I know you'll both need a few days to recover. The reason I know where Northern State is located, is because my family owns a small fishing cottage on the lake near there. It's about a mile away. We're going by it. I know Edward won't make it there with the drug you have for him, but I have a plan for the both of you."

"Tell me on the way," I said.

He nodded, and once again, we were off to head back into the belly of the beast. Emmett pulled out the water bottles and made me drink from one, while he began to go over his plan for Edward and me.

After all the horrors I had been witnessing as of late, I felt my faith begin to waver. I wasn't sure if Emmett's plan would work, but it was better than anything I had come up with, which was nothing, so, with the last ounce of faith I had left in me, I prayed to God that Edward and I would make it through, and then I promptly apologized for the profanity I had used.

We made it to the little cabin on the lake by mid-afternoon. It was cute and possibly something I would have appreciated, if my world hadn't felt as if it were ending. I was so focused on making it to Northern State, I didn't give Emmett more than two minutes to look at the cabin, before we left again, heading north toward the reformatory.

We came up the back way, and when we were close enough to see the high brick walls, Emmett pulled me along this nasty steep hill towards a large sewer drain.

"This will be your exit plan. Leave your stuff here."

I slipped off my bag and proceeded to pull out the last syringe. This time, instead of hiding it in my bra band on my back, I chose somewhere a tad more embarrassing. I turned around from Emmett, pulled my dress up, and proceeded to push the capped syringe down into my pants, where, for the first time in my life, it was good to be fat. I hoped my leftover baby belly would make do at hiding the contraband, as I wedged the syringe underneath it into the small fold just over my privates.

This time, when I went into the reformatory, I would not be coming back out, unless Edward was with me.

"This is where we part ways," I said softly to Emmett.

He nodded and scratched at his chin. "Yeah…I'm afraid so."

"I hope you make it to Mexico," I said.

"I hope to see you and Edward there," Emmett replied.

I sadly shook my head. I started to wonder if it would ever happen, all three of us making it to Mexico. Like I said, my faith was wavering.

Emmett pulled me in for a hug and squeezed me tightly, before pulling back and looking directly into my eyes. "You're one hell of a woman, Isabella Swan. I know you can do this. Don't give up!"

I gritted my teeth, wanting to tell him I already felt like giving up, but thankfully, his words were enough to make me smack myself mentally, so I wouldn't submit to the overwhelming pressure I felt.

I looked at him one last time and then turned around to walk the rest of the distance to the front gates.

Back to square one, I thought, as I held my hands up and walked towards the guards.

This time, there were three of them outside, and each of the men readied their weapons upon seeing me. I kept my hands up, slowly approaching.

"I'm just looking for work. Can I please speak to your Director of Staff?" I called out.

"Stand in your spot and don't move," one of them ordered. He looked back towards the man on his right and waved him to proceed. The man walked forward and put his gun down, and then he proceeded to frisk me. I felt my heart pumping wildly, while he ran his hands over my body. Down my chest, around my back, over my fat rolls on my side, and finally, up my legs. I thanked God he didn't touch my privates.

I also thanked God I hadn't put the syringe on my back, or I would have been ruined, right then and there. When the man was done, he looked back to his friends and nodded. They put their weapons down, and once again, one of the guards proceeded to call the main office.

Inside, I felt relief, followed by a most inappropriate thought. They hadn't found my syringe. Point one for the fat girl. I had to refrain from smiling, but I was sadly proud of myself.

"You may advance," the one guard called out to me, as he placed the phone back down on the receiver. Keeping my hands up, I slowly walked forward.

"You can put your hands down now," he added, sounding irritated.

I breathed a small sigh of relief, as the guard opened a small gated door. This white ward was completely different from the last. For one thing, it had a large courtyard in the middle. The buildings ran the perimeter and showed no sign of windows. I went across the square to the only door in view and headed inside.

A perky girl smiled at me as I entered, and I mentally reminded myself not to eat the food here.

"Hi, I'm Maria. Welcome to Northern State."

It was such an odd sentiment. Welcome to _hell_ would have been more appropriate, but I smiled back and thanked her for the kind welcome.

"You can go down the hall to the office of the director. I told him to expect you."

I headed down the hallway, and this time, the office was different than the one Marcus had held. No bookshelves were inside on the walls. Instead, there seemed to be a small desk and a few chairs, but what caught me off guard was the large table on one side with a short net across the middle of it, and on the opposite side of the office was a basketball hoop.

"You play?" I heard a voice from behind me, and I nearly jumped.

"Uh…no."

Instead of an older gentleman like Marcus had been, this guy seemed young.

"You should. It's fun. I'm Paul, and you are…?"

I worried about giving him the fake name I had used at Hollowbrook, but from my clothing, it was obvious I had worked there, so I knew I should maintain the lie and pray to God no one was any the wiser of what I had done there.

"Isa Cope. I…uh…worked at Atlantic Island and Hollowbrook…obviously," pointing to my dress.

"In maintenance," he stated.

I nodded.

"Well, sorry to say, I don't have any openings for maintenance right now, but I do need a cleaner. Think you can handle it?"

Having no idea what a cleaner did, I prayed I didn't sound like an idiot with my next words.

"I was born to clean."

"Great! I'll have Maria take you down to the washroom. She'll show you where you can change, too. Our uniforms are god-awful orange, thankfully."

I laughed, trying to keep it light. "Yes, that was the worst part of working for Hollowbrook."

I thanked him for the job and headed back to Maria. She stood up from her desk and came around to show me where the washroom was. I assumed I would be cleaning uniforms, since they called it the washroom. I was wrong.

Maria stopped outside the door.

"I can't go in there. The smell…it makes me want to vomit. Just…clean the pans and then deliver them back to the rooms when you're done. Then, remove the dirty ones and bring them back and start all over again," she explained.

Clean the pans. Great. I already knew what I would be doing. However, I couldn't complain, as this job might actually get me to Edward faster than if I had been in maintenance. So long as I kept cleaning, I could keep going from room to room.

"Maria, is there a place I can get washed up?" I asked.

"You want to wash before you go into that room? Why don't you wait until you're finished?"

"I've been on the road for a while. I'd just rather freshen up, if possible. Plus, I need to change into the correct uniform…"

"Oh, sure," she said, understanding. She took me back towards her office, but she stopped just before and opened a door that held the same type of room I'd had in Hollowbrook.

I rummaged through the supply closet and took out some new clothes and pee-pee pants. It was getting quite sad how happy I got, when I had access to such amenities. Thankfully, it seemed as if the magical pills Mrs. Cope had given me were working, as the bleeding was lessening every day.

After my shower, I pulled on the brown dress that had the initials, N.S.R., stamped boldly across the back. I positioned the syringe into the back of my bra band, hoping that, since I had passed the initial test of getting in, I wouldn't have to keep it in my pants.

The moment I entered the washroom, I immediately retreated out into the main hall once more. Overwhelmed with the smell, it took everything in me to gather the courage and the stomach to head back in. Stacks of dirty pans in rows that reached up towards the ceiling waited for me.

A large basin with a hose attached to it was on the wall directly across from the entrance. Slowly, my feet moved over towards the deep sink. I pulled out some gloves from a box on the counter and focused on breathing through my mouth.

I pulled out the first pan to my left squirting it down with cleaner, before spraying it out. When I was finished, I walked it towards the right, where a wall full of empty drying racks stood.

My thoughts grew very dark while I continued working, but I didn't have the luxury of crying over my current predicament. So what if it smelled? So what if I was nearly elbows deep in fecal matter? I had to carry on, because the truth was, I could feel my time running out.

After the horrific video I had watched in town, I knew if the Resistance decided not to give in to the threats, and Emily and those children were killed, the Resistance might take out their revenge on the diamonds. Edward had been in serious danger before, but now, his life was most certainly in jeopardy.

_Isabella Swan, I don't care if you have to wade waist-deep in excrement, you will roll up those sleeves and wash like you've never washed before. The sooner you get done with the pans in this room, the sooner you can get on to finding Edward._

It took me nearly the whole night to finish all the dirty pans that had been left there for God only knew how long. Some of the feces had stuck to the pans and had dried on, making it all the harder to chip it off. The number of gloves I went through was overwhelming. I only stopped to sleep for two hours, before I resumed my post and continued to work.

When I finished all the pans, I went to find Maria and ask her for a map of where the rooms were. I hoped she would point me in the direction of the diamond rooms, and she didn't disappoint.

She pulled out a map of Northern State and proceeded to highlight all the rooms, speaking to me as if she were giving me directions to the nearest coffee shop.

"So, you can go down this hallway here, and it'll wrap around to over there. Then finally, we have our two VIP rooms back here, which, I'm sure you'll be interested to know, is where they hold all the men from the prominent families who were captured by the Resistance."

"Really?" I gasped. "I can't believe they'd keep them here."

Did I sound completely ignorant? I must have, because Maria took the opportunity to gossip more.

"Oh, yeah. We have over a hundred of those zombie bastards back there. You should head there first, because I have to say, nothing will put a spring in your step like those rooms will give ya," she cackled.

I smiled at her and replied, "I think I'll take you up on that."

I pulled the map off the counter and gave her a thank you, before turning around and heading back to my washroom. What was wrong with the people around here? Were we really so awful, people would laugh at the pain they were inflicting upon our class?

I'd never exactly agreed with the class system. I thought I had made that pretty clear on more than one occasion, but I would never mock a person who had been sent to this horrific place. My mind went back to Jacob Black and how he was sitting in a chair somewhere for all eternity, and for what? Because he had been part of a scheme brought on by my sister? Was it really right for someone who had committed that type of crime to rot in a facility like this? No! It wasn't right. None of this was right. The diamonds. The Resistance. Somehow, both sides of the coin were wrong, and yet, they were both right, too.

That was the thing about war. Most of the time, there was a very fine line between who was right and who was wrong.

I pushed the cart filled with clean pans towards the rooms on the map Maria had provided that held the diamonds. When I got closer to my destination, I found a supply closet and quickly pulled out a navy-blue uniform I hoped would fit Edward and a pair of socks and boots. Not knowing his size now, I had to guess. I hid the items away in the very top pan, hoping I would have cause to use them.

Would I finally find what I had been looking for? The knot in my stomach grew, and my mouth became dry, as I approached the first room on the list.

I said one last silent prayer and walked through the door.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Also if you received an update on The Loser this week, my apologies, however, DOLLYBIGMOMMA took a lot of time going back and adding more to the story so if you like the changes, please let us know.**

**Thank you to Fran and Dollybigmomma for editing! Go and check out Fran's Facebook page Twilight FanFiction Pays it Forward. It is a great site!**

**Teaser posted tomorrow on my page for those who follow me. Thank you to everyone who has taken time to vote for THE LOSER over at TWIFANFICRECS dot com.**

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER.**


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

**THE RED WARD**

The rooms here looked identical to the ones at Hollowbrook, but they held twice as many people. I pushed my cart towards the front. I knew I didn't have a lot of time. If someone were to catch me, I wouldn't have much of an excuse for being in here for too long.

My eyes slowly scanned the room, and I saw more people I recognized. The little girl I had once helped care for at the hospital, Bree, her father was amongst this group. He had been one of our twelve governors, and even that position hadn't saved him from being placed here. Mr. Denali was there, too. I had never liked the man, but I didn't want this for him.

My hands shook, as I quickly made my way down the rows. You would have thought I would have been able to scan the crowd and easily pick out the man I loved, but when you saw the way these men looked...so lifeless…it had changed their overall appearance.

My heart stopped, when I finally saw him. He was here. Edward was here.

Instantly, my feet carried me to the opposite side of the room, and I landed on my knees in front of him. Carlisle was right, he looked different. Aged. Edward's once sure eyes held no recognition of me. His cocky smile was gone, his body smelled terrible, and his hair was dirty and a bit longer.

"Edward," I cried softly.

I was shaking so hard, I had to tell myself to stop and focus, as my fingers fumbled with the tubes that were plugged into his square disk.

_Breathe, Bella. Focus! _

I got up from the ground and pulled the syringe from out of my bra band. I then closed my eyes, taking a long second to compose myself, before slapping myself mentally for the time I was wasting. But this was my only shot, and if I messed up now, everything I had worked for would be for nothing, as I knew I could not possibly carry Edward out of here by myself.

I uncapped the syringe and placed the needle against the dirty sheet Edward wore. I counted to three, before pushing it into his chest and releasing the drug. I pulled it back out, and the syringe dropped to the floor, as I waited for the same reaction Emmett had, when I had done it to him.

But Edward didn't jerk as Emmett had done. Instead, I saw it in his eyes first. He blinked and slowly shook his head, as if he was waking up from a nap.

"Bella?" his graveled voice whispered.

"Edward," I cried. "We don't have a lot of time. You're in a white ward. The drugs I gave you will only last a few precious minutes, so I need you to focus!"

I unstrapped him from the chair, and he fell forward a bit. I caught him, but he pulled himself back. I ran off towards my cart and grabbed the clothes I had ferreted away. When I came back, Edward was rubbing his head, as he slowly tried to stand. I pulled the IV's out of him and helped him up.

"Come on. There's a closet over here where you can change. We have to hurry."

Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and hung on to me, as we walked to the closet. His feet sliding on the floor as if they were held down by imaginary weights.

"Baby," he said.

"Yeah?" I answered, looking back into his eyes.

"What happened to our baby?"

I felt stupid, thinking Edward would use the term of endearment on me. Of course, he would want to know about his child.

"He's fine…we'll talk later."

I opened the closet door and pushed him inside. I left it open a crack, so he didn't have to get dressed in the dark. I pulled off his sheet and tried not to notice his nakedness. I then used it to quickly wipe down his sore backside, while he struggled to pull the uniform top onto his body.

"Bella, I know that so much…I…"

I hushed him. We didn't have time for a conversation. I felt the clock ticking harder and faster than ever, and I needed him out of this building and far away, before anyone was any the wiser.

I could tell he was gaining more awareness, as he moved to dress more quickly. Unexpectedly, we heard the door to the room we had just been in open, followed by footsteps, before the door closed again. I locked eyes with Edward, and he pulled me towards him and held me, while we stood frozen; staying silent as we waited.

"This is the other room. They only had forty-seven at Hollowbrook, since Northern State took the majority."

"How many are we…?" we heard another voice ask quietly.

"Does it matter? You heard our orders. Get your gun ready."

"I don't know if I can do this. I mean…I've never taken a life before."

"Don't be a wuss, Tyler! You saw what these monsters did! They killed a whole roomful of our children, and you want to defend them?"

"No! I'm not defending them, it's just…we don't know who killed those kids, but we know these men weren't a part of it. I'm just saying…"

The sound of a gun going off nearly made me scream. Edward pulled me closer and slapped his hand over my mouth. He quietly hushed me and continued to hold onto me.

There was no more talking. I had to assume Tyler had just been killed a few feet from where we were hiding. Suddenly, a round of automatic gunshots was being fired, and immediately, Edward pulled me to the floor and wrapped his arms around my head to try and block the sounds of the shots from my ears. It didn't help. I knew everyone in that room would be dead the moment the firing ceased. I felt myself involuntarily crying, and Edward slowly rocked me.

_Don't break down, Bella. Don't! _

Finally, it was over, and Edward released me. We heard the door of the room open and then close once again. Edward stood and pulled me to my feet. It seemed as if Carlisle's miracle drugs were working on him, as he was back to his old strength.

He poked his head out, and then he pulled me along with him. When I walked from the closet, the scene in front of me…I'd swear, it would haunt me until my dying day. No longer were there vacant stares on any faces. Now, every man in that room was slumped over in their chairs, only being held up by their straps. Blood washed over the floor and ran towards the center of the room and down the drain. The white walls were splattered red in a way that reminded me of a crude, modern art painting.

The man, Tyler, who had protested the killing, lay dead on the ground to the left, as Edward pulled me quickly from the scene, probably worried the images were not befitting a lady. He didn't know I could no longer call myself such.

Before we made it to the exit door, I pushed past Edward and told him I would go out first, in case anyone was waiting outside. It would make sense if I were to be seen. Thankfully, no one was there. I pulled the map out of my pocket and took Edward's hand without thinking and pulled him along towards the elevator.

We made it inside, and I pressed the button to take us down.

"How do you know all of this? How long was I in here?"

"We don't have time for this, Edward. I'll answer all your questions later, once we get somewhere safe. I don't have time to handle a breakdown. In twenty or so minutes, you'll be useless, and if I don't have you out of here and far enough away so I can hide you, we'll both pay the price."

The elevator stopped, and I stepped out first. The hallway was dark, and I heard Edward gag at the smell, but I barely noticed it. We crept along the wall, and when we reached the room where the bodies were stored, I looked for the hatch Emmett had told me to watch out for. I saw Edward stop in front of the mound of dead people, his mouth opening wide in shock. I walked over and saw the hatch. It was partially buried underneath all the bodies.

I went to work, pulling the body on top off and rolling it down the back of the pile, where it hit the floor with a thud. I reached to take the next person's arm and pulled so roughly that her arm popped out of the socket.

"You mind helping me?" I snapped.

Edward shook his head and walked over to timidly reach out and pull at the woman's legs. I was so focused on relocating the pile that, when I finally looked up at Edward, I saw his face was a mixture of confusion and sadness. But he wasn't looking at the corpses. He was looking at me.

I felt slightly embarrassed, but I quickly shook off those feelings and crouched down to the sewer drain. I pulled with all my might, but the damn lid was heavy. Edward finally came over to help, and with his strength, we were able to open the hatch.

"You want me to go first?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, let me. I don't know what's down there. I should check it out and make sure you won't hurt yourself if the fall is too far."

Edward held himself over the hole, preparing to drop. He let go, and I heard his feet splash below.

"Okay, come on down. I have you, Bella."

I knew the hatch cover was much too heavy to put back on by myself, so once we both had jumped, we would have to move quickly, before someone came down and discovered our exit route.

I held myself over the hole and tried to slowly lower myself, but I didn't have the strength left in my arms to do it, and I ended up letting go, but Edward managed to break my fall, as I landed in his arms. He set my feet on the ground, and I looked down at the water to see what direction it was flowing, and then we took off.

Our feet were splashing, as we ran towards where I hoped the drain would lead out, as Emmett had told me to do. We turned a corner, and I smacked directly into a soft, pudgy wall and fell back down into the dirty water.

I looked up, fearing the worst, believing a gun would be pointed at my face, but I was greeted with the very best sight I'd seen in a long while.

"Emmett?" Edward asked from behind me.

"Edward Cullen! Good to see you alive."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, scrambling to get up, Edward helping me the last part of the way.

Emmett shrugged his shoulders. "Either we all make it to Mexico, or no one makes it to Mexico." He looked behind him and then said, "Come on, we have to hurry. Resistance soldiers showed up nearly an hour ago."

I didn't tell him we knew, but instead, we followed along after him. I could see a lot of light coming up, and I felt giddy that we were almost free and clear of this godforsaken place.

"Edward, the hill is steep, so when we get to the end, watch your footing, but be quick about making it down," Emmett instructed.

We made it outside, and we stopped momentarily. We all began to go down the mountain, but then I remembered my bag of stuff I had stashed near the drain, and I ran back up for it.

"Freeze!"

I looked up, and a Resistance soldier was at the top of the hill, with his gun pointed in my direction. I reached and grabbed for my bag, when I heard Emmett scream my name.

Just as my hand grasped my knapsack, the back of my dress was pulled, and Emmett hurled me down the hill, knocking me into Edward and causing him to fall as well.

Pop! Pop! Pop!

I knew that sound far too well.

My body was knocked about from the force of tumbling down the steep hillside, as it bounced and scraped over the rocks and rough leaves. I heard the grunts of pain coming from myself and Edward, and it felt as if we would never stop moving.

My arms were torn to shreds, but thankfully, we finally came to a stop near the base of the hill.

My eyes readjusted, now that I was not spinning, and I saw Emmett running full force at me. His legs leaped over my body, and he managed to stop himself at the bottom. I looked over to Edward, as Emmett was screaming at me to get up and run.

I sat up and looked over to see Edward doing the same. My arms were bloody from the fall. Emmett grabbed me by the elbow and pulled me up, and then he pushed me in the back and yelled at me to run. He helped Edward up, and all three of us took off, running away from the steep hill.

Emmett and Edward were right beside me, as we hauled it down the mountain. I kept thinking that, at any moment, more gunfire would cause one of us to stop running. When I saw Edward go down, the worst possible scenario flashed through my mind. My feet immediately stopped, and I cried out, as I saw him lying on the ground, struggling to raise himself.

"Keep going!" Emmett yelled at me. He was beside Edward and helping him to his feet. I didn't listen to Emmett's orders, however, as I looked Edward over to see where he had been shot. It was then I noticed his shirt was darkened from a bloodstain, but it was not Edward who was bleeding. It was Emmett. His right arm had blood pouring down it, and yet, he was still strong enough to pick up Edward and fling him onto his shoulder.

"Go, Bella!" Emmett yelled at me once more, and I turned and ran, Emmett taking off after me, with Edward flopping around on his shoulder like a dead animal carcass.

I resumed my sprint. My lungs were tired, and my throat was aching for water, but I kept moving. I felt myself slow a few times, but knowing Emmett was doing twice the work with a horrible wound caused me to not give in.

I felt as if we had run across the entire great state, when we finally reached the cabin.

"Are you sure it's safe to stay here?" I asked, gasping as we made it up onto the porch and in through the door Emmett had unlocked, when we had come by yesterday morning.

"They won't find us. The soldiers will head to the nearby towns, if they want to waste their time looking for us. I think we're safe for now," Emmett replied.

He walked over and placed Edward down on the rustic couch in the front room.

"Are you okay?" I asked, looking at his blood-stained shirt and arm.

"It just grazed me. Hurts like hell, but I've had worse." I pulled off my bag and set it down on the floor, and Emmett snapped. "God! I can't believe you were stupid enough to go back for that damn thing. You could've been killed! Edward could've been killed, and if I'd been standing a foot to my left, I would've been killed!"

I shied away, feeling bad for my misjudgment. "This bag has everything in it. It has a gun, a GPS system, a blanket," I tried to defend.

Emmett walked towards a door across from the main entrance and pulled it open. Inside, there was a stack of blankets.

"GPS system, Emmett. A gun! The first-aid kit…" I trailed off. "Look, I'm sorry. I…truth be told, I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry you got hurt."

I really was sorry. Here, Emmett had stayed behind to help me, when he could have been halfway to Mexico. If he hadn't, Edward and I would have surely been caught and executed.

"Thank you, Emmett," I began. "I'll never be able to repay you for today."

Emmett sat down in the recliner and sighed. "You already have. If you'd left me in that white ward, God only knows what would've happened to me."

I had been so focused on running and escaping, I had nearly forgotten the horrors Edward and I had witnessed. If I had left Emmett in Hollowbrook, he would have died today.

I slapped my hand over my mouth and tried to hold back, but I could barely contain the guttural cry.

"What happened?" Emmett asked, frowning.

I shook my head and looked back at him. "The Resistance soldiers…they wanted revenge for the children," I said trembling.

I sat on the edge of the couch, my head falling into my hands, while I stared at the wooden floorboards below me. I saw my tears softly land and splatter, as I summoned the courage to explain what had happened. I didn't want to talk about it, but I knew it would be best to get it out now, while Edward was still sleeping. He would have to endure those images again, if I waited to tell Emmett about it later.

"The men who were holding the children hostage…and Emily. I don't think the Resistance turned themselves in. We heard one of the soldiers say that a roomful of children had been murdered…and that's when they opened fire on all the men from the prominent families. They said they were doing it at Hollowbrook, too. Edward and I were hiding in a closet. We heard everything, and when they left…we saw…everything; the aftermath of what they'd done," I whispered.

Emmett's eyes cast downward. I imagined his brain was playing catch-up, as was mine. I didn't know if I would ever understand what had happened today, or why.

I pulled my knapsack open and began to take out the items. Unwrapping the first-aid kit, I stood from the couch and walked over to Emmett. He didn't say a word, as I ripped open his sleeve and assessed his wound.

He was right. It seemed as if the bullet had only grazed him, but had it ever left behind a nasty, bloody trail. I went to the sink and grabbed a towel, running it under the faucet. I came back to him and began to wash the area, before applying the alcohol wipes to his injury then bandaging it.

"You should get some sleep. I'll stay up and keep a lookout," I said when I was finished.

Emmett shook his head. "No. You go. I don't think I want to close my eyes just yet," he replied, looking away.

"You just ran with a gunshot wound while carrying a full-grown man on your back. I know you probably didn't sleep well last night. I need everyone in fine form for this journey, so please, just go and…dream of Rosalie. I'll be fine. I was able to catch a few hours on a comfy cot in the white ward last night."

Partially a lie, since I'd only had two hours of sleep, but I knew Emmett must have been drained after the run we'd just endured. I was tired, too, but I wanted to stay with Edward for a few hours. It had been so long since I had seen him. I had lost track of how many weeks it had been. Eight weeks since this nightmare had begun? Nine weeks?

Emmett sighed, rose from the recliner, and dragged his feet off towards the bedroom. When he was gone, I went to the closet and pulled out a soft blanket and laid it over the top of Edward. I sat on the floor near the couch and pulled the gun out of my bag, leaving it next to me, just in case.

My eyes slowly traveled up to Edward, as I watched him take soft, calming breaths. At least he was having pleasant dreams.

Knowing he was completely out, I couldn't resist reaching my hand up and touching his face. I choked back the tears that threatened me, as I thought about the journey up to this point. I wanted to smack myself for daring to think the worst part was over, but I couldn't help myself, as I gave in and felt a smidge of relief. Even if we still had to face many struggles to get to Mexico, at least Emmett would be with us. At least the man I loved hadn't died today. I had done it!

Against all odds.

Against everything I had believed I couldn't do. I had done it!

I forgot myself, and everything I had held in these past few weeks finally broke free. I let out a sob so loud, I was surprised it didn't wake Edward. My breaths came fast, the tears flowed freely, and even though I wanted to feel horrible for what had happened…Carlisle's death…leaving my child...seeing the lifeless people in the white wards...Jacob…dead bodies…executed, bloody bodies…I didn't feel sadness. I was relieved! I had saved Edward!

I worried I might have woken Edward, but I hadn't. However, my cries woke Emmett. He rushed out to the main room and saw me falling apart on the cabin's floor. I must have looked insane, because he seemed unsure of what he should do.

I wanted to stop crying, but I couldn't. I couldn't find the off button.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed.

I tried to catch my breath, but I didn't seem to be having any luck. Emmett walked over and got down on the floor beside me and pulled me into his massive arms.

I felt silly for my breakdown, but Emmett didn't say a word. He didn't even try and hush me. He just allowed me to get through it.

I was so overwhelmed and exhausted that I passed out in his arms. When I woke up, I was lying on the floor, with a pillow under my head and a blanket across my body.

It was still dark outside, as I looked around the cabin, and my eyes tried to make out the shapes. I saw Emmett was sleeping in the recliner, instead of having chosen to head back into the bedroom.

My head hurt from all the crying, and my nose felt stuffed. My achy body popped, as I slowly stood and stretched. I reached out to grab my bag, before I made my way towards the bathroom. I pulled out the pills Mrs. Cope had given me that were supposed to help my bleeding lessen, ready to take them, but as my fingers went over the pack, I saw there were no more pills except for the fake ones, which meant I had been away from my child for almost a month.

I tossed the pack into the trash and leaned over the sink to stick my face under the faucet to help quench my parched throat.

"No…no…NO!"

Edward's cries snapped me out of my slump, and I ran back to the main room to see what was wrong. Emmett was snoring loudly through the whole thing. I rushed over and sat next to Edward, shaking him gently to wake him from his nightmare.

He awoke startled, and I had to hold him down to stop him from smacking me.

"You're okay. You're okay, Edward. It's me, Bella!"

He attempted to slow his breathing, but he had trouble doing so. He reached his hand out and caressed my face, and that helped him.

"You're alive," he cried softly.

I nodded my head. I felt silly, because I should have been saying those words to him.

"Oh, my God, Bella." He slowly shook his head and sat up on the couch. His hands reached out and took mine.

"You should rest. You need to sleep," I told him.

He shook his head again, but I insisted. We needed him in fine form. The sooner, the better.

"Edward, I mean it. You need to sleep this off. Please."

His eyes looked into mine, and once again, he shook his head. "You don't know what it was like, Bella. I just can't, not yet. I need to…I need to keep my eyes open and look at…the world."

His eyes didn't leave mine, and I could see the fear, even though the room was only dimly lit from the moon outside, and I could feel it in the way his hands trembled in mine, as he relived the past few weeks.

"I remember everything. It's all there, but it's fragmented, too. It was like being trapped and buried alive. You sit there, stinking and freezing, feeling your body ache from inactivity, hurting so much. You itch madly and are unable to scratch yourself, and the cold water they spray on you only makes it worse. The only relief you find is when the lights go out, and you can fall asleep for a few precious hours. Once the lights come back on, you wake up, and you're forced to just stare, hurt, and itch. Inside…you're screaming…begging God for it to end, but it never does."

I didn't know what processed me to do it. It wasn't right, but I reached my arms out, and I gripped him tightly and held him in a hug. He was dirty and stank, but I didn't care. I moved to let him go, feeling he probably would prefer some distance, but his hold tightened.

"Bella, would you lay with me?"

"I…I…don't know if this couch will fit us both."

"That's nonsense. Please. I don't want to be alone tonight."

I let go of him, and we shifted awkwardly. I let him lay down, and then he opened his arms, and I snuggled in as close as I could, so my body didn't hang off the couch and cause me to fall. I did feel myself hanging over the edge a bit, but it was more comfortable than I would have believed.

With my head on his chest, listening to the soft beats from his heart, it was easy for me to relax. I eventually heard his quiet snores, indicating he was asleep once again, and I soon followed.

Finally, we were at peace.

...For now.

* * *

**AN: I hope it was worth the wait. Thank you for reading and reviewing. The voting at TWIFANFICRECS dot com closes on Saturday so if you wouldn't mind voting even one more time for THE LOSER, I would be incredibly grateful.**

**Teaser for chapter ten up tomorrow on Facebook.**

**THANK YOU to FRAN and DOLLYBIGMOMMA for editing. They truly make this story so much better with their help!**

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

**Sanctuary**

I awoke feeling hot and sweaty; a combination of Edward's body heat mixed with the sun's rays shining through the window and landing directly on the couch

My eyes slowly looked over towards the recliner, and it seemed as if Emmett was already up and out. My body cracked, as I untangled myself from Edward's arms and ungracefully rolled off the couch, hitting the floor with my bottom. I tried not to wake Edward, but my attempts were all for naught.

"Bella?"

"Sorry," I whispered. "Go ahead and sleep. I just need to use the restroom."

Edward shook his head and sat up slowly on the couch, while I picked myself up from the floor. "Where's Emmett?"

I shrugged. "Hopefully, he's finding us something to eat." I turned to go, but Edward reached his hand out and caught mine.

"Sorry," he apologized, letting go. "I…uh…I'm still having trouble deciphering which part of my life is reality."

I nodded and reached down to take his hand. "I'm real. I wish I could say this was a dream, as I'm sure the next few weeks will probably be tumultuous...uncertain…downright frightful…"

"Trust me, this is preferable. No matter how bad it gets."

I turned to leave once more, knowing I had to change the pants I was wearing.

"Will you tell me what happened?" he asked.

I sighed and again looked back to him. "I will, but…I have to go to the bathroom...maybe take a shower. You should probably do the same."

Emmett walked in, saving me from any more questions. He brought in a few fish from the lake, holding them with his bare hands.

"Breakfast is served!" he announced proudly. "Well…not served yet, as I don't imagine you want your first real meal to be raw. Let me fry up these bad boys, and I swear, it might just be the best meal of your life. At least, that's how it felt for me, when I got out of the white ward."

I left Edward and Emmett, hoping they could keep each other entertained, until I was finished in the bathroom. The moment I sat down on the toilet, my face fell into my hands, as I began to think about everything I was going to have to say to Edward. How I had lived for this day…knowing Edward was safe, and with me...but now came the worst part.

I would need to tell Edward about his father.

I never wanted to leave that shower, as I knew what was awaiting me on the other side of the curtain, but I couldn't very well stay in this stall until this war was over. Though, the thought of Edward and Emmett pulling me out, butt-naked, was quite amusing.

Once I was redressed in the dirty brown dress with the N.S.R. stamped boldly across the back, I returned to the main room to find Edward and Emmett eating their fish in silence.

"Oh, hey. I forgot to tell you; I found some clothes in the dresser. They're probably too big and not very fashionable, but at least we won't stand out like we would if we were to head off in these uniforms," Emmett said.

I cringed, thinking about my lumpy butt trying to squeeze into anything he might have, even though he thought they were too big. Then would come the embarrassment of having to tell him they didn't fit, but I headed off to the bedroom, anyway.

In the top two drawers was an assortment of undergarments that looked as if they may have belonged to Emmett's grandmother and since I wasn't exactly trying to make a fashion statement, I was more than thankful. The socks and The panties were all very stretchy, so I was sure I could make them work. There were a few bras as well, and whoever they had belonged to, I could have kissed them and then congratulated them, because their chest was as big if not bigger than mine! Having a fresh bra was going to be a relief, as I doubted any amount of soap was going to clean the nasty out of the one I had been wearing for a month.

I then pulled open the bottom drawer and came face to face with the flannel brigade, but beggars couldn't be choosers, so I pulled out one of the long-sleeved, red and blue flannel shirts and slipped it over my arms, just to see if I had a prayer of fitting into it.

Surprisingly, it did fit, even over the ugly brown dress I was wearing. Feeling energized, I quickly ripped off the offending reformatory garment and pulled on a clean bra, and then I slid the red and blue flannel top over my bra and buttoned it up.

I searched next for pants, and my choices were minimal; jeans that looked way too small and sweatpants. Knowing the trek that was ahead, I went for the darker jeans, keeping my fingers crossed. They were far too long in the leg, but at least they buttoned.

I walked out in my new outfit and proclaimed, "They fit!"

It was the first time my smile was carefree since I could remember.

"Look at you!" Emmett smiled back at me.

I twirled around and stopped when I had completed a full circle. "Who knew the key to weight loss was being taken over by the crazed, lesser classes who'd force me to live for weeks on end in the forest, starving and foraging for food?"

I realized how in poor taste my joke was, when I looked into Edward's eyes. He looked down at the table, as he seemed to be remembering something.

"The fire…"

Emmett's eyes looked to mine, and he slowly stood and placed his dirty plate into the sink. He knew it was time.

"I…uh…should go shower," he said, excusing himself from the table.

I walked over to where Edward sat and pulled out the chair closest to him. I took a deep breath in and then let it out. "Okay, we should talk."

My teeth played with my bottom lip, as I thought about where to begin. His hand moved to take mine, and he said, "Just tell me, Bella."

I nodded, taking a deep breath.

"The fire…was the night it all began. They took you. Seems some of the lessers came together and created an army who came into the house and seized you from your bed. They took…all the men who were from prominent families. I was taken to stay with your mother and sister at your parents' house. Emmett's wife was sent there as well, which is how I came to know of him. She asked that I save him if I had the opportunity. To be honest, when I found him, I didn't think I should risk it, but…I guess it's a good thing I did, as we never would've made it here without his help."

I felt my insides trembling, knowing what was coming.

"We were kept there for…six, nearly seven weeks. I went into labor, and the men who guarded us took me to the hospital. Your father was there. They'd kept him because of his skills."

Edward let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God! I'd thought…I'd thought he was in that room yesterday."

I saw his eyes become wet with relieved tears, and suddenly, mine were watering, too.

"Edward…he wasn't…"

My lips trembled, and I couldn't hold back any longer. My tears flowed down my face, as my body shuddered, trying to keep it in. Edward slowly shook his head, fearing what would come out of my mouth next.

"I told him I was planning to escape from the hospital to come and find you. He tried to talk me out of it. He said you wouldn't want me to risk my life for yours…but I was resolved. So, he…he…"

I gritted my teeth, hating that I was taking so long to get it out. I was sure it felt like I was taking my sweet time to stab Edward in the heart...to ease the knife in slowly for maximum pain.

"He sacrificed himself, so…I could escape with his grandson. I'm so sorry, Edward, I'm so sorry," I cried softly.

Edward's tears didn't fall as mine had done. He stared straight ahead in complete and utter shock. His face looked as if it was carved from marble.

"It's all my fault. I never would've…I…" I stammered.

Edward's eyes snapped to mine, and immediately, he pulled me into his arms.

"No, Bella! It's not your fault. None of this is your fault." He stroked my head and held me close in his strong arms, his head resting on mine, and I could feel his tears drip down onto my hair. "My father loved you, Bella. He would've gladly given his life for any of his children. He loved you so."

Just as Emmett had said, Edward didn't blame me. But I knew Carlisle's death was something I would never forgive myself for.

Edward had lost his father. I had no right to make him comfort me, when he was the only person who was justified in his pain. I squeezed my eyes shut and resolved myself to end my useless tears.

I pulled back from him, but he kept my hands in his. "What about my mother? Is she…?" he asked, afraid of the answer.

I shook my head and began once more. "No, she and your sister were rescued. Jasper had been down south when the siege began. He managed to gather a few soldiers and come…the night your dad…"

I didn't finish, but he knew what I meant.

"Anyway, I made it back to the house, because I didn't want to take our son with me while I came for you. Thankfully, Jasper was there, and…hopefully, they're all on their way to Mexico."

_Please, dear God, I hope they made it_.

Edward's hands released mine, as if they had suddenly caught fire. He pulled back and gave me a look, like he was trying to figure out a complicated math equation.

"What's wrong…?"

"Why did you do this?" he snapped.

I sat back in my chair, wondering why he was suddenly angry. I slowly shook my head, confused as to what he was referring to.

"Bella! You were out! You should've gone to Mexico with them. Why would you risk your life for me? You could've been killed! We both could still die, and then, what about our son? He'll have no parents!" he shouted.

My eyes looked around, but my body was frozen in place, as I took in his harsh accusations.

"You never should've come after me! My father was right. God, it was so stupid!" He jumped out of his chair and walked away, unable to look at me.

Once my brain was done being shocked and confused, I unthawed.

"I. SAVED. YOUR. LIVES!" I enunciated every word through my gritted teeth. "If it hadn't been for me, you both would've been dead! Just yesterday, hundreds of men lost their lives, and you two would've been just numbers in the body count if it wasn't for me!"

"Then, so be it, Bella! We might still be casualties of this war, but at least our son would still have a parent!" he snapped back at me.

"Yeah! And because of me, he might still have _two _parents." I quieted my voice and tried to remain civil with my tone. "I'm not stupid, Edward. I know if the roles were reversed, you wouldn't have come for me…"

"Of course, I would've come for you," he interrupted.

I laughed humorlessly and rolled my eyes.

"Of course, I would've come," he reiterated. "But that's different. I'm a man, and what you did…"

"You chauvinistic asshole! This isn't about my safety, you're just mad because I'm a woman, and therefore, how could I possibly accomplish this feat? Well, guess what? You were saved by a girl! So there!" I spat immaturely.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU BOTH SCREAMING ABOUT?" Emmett came out of the shower with his towel wrapped around his waist.

I scoffed at my thoughts. Here Edward and I were, back with one another for not even a day, and already, we were fighting. Some things never changed.

Edward turned away from Emmett and walked toward the sink to get a grip on his anger. I folded my arms across my chest, ready to sew my lips shut, so I might never be tempted to apologize for my actions.

"I can't believe you two," Emmett started. "Do you have any idea how lucky you both are? Because I do."

I looked away from Emmett and chose to focus on how hard I could bite my bottom lip without my teeth puncturing it.

"I don't know if I'll ever see Rosalie again. I'd give anything for even one more minute, and I don't know if that'll happen. I do know one thing, though. If it weren't for Bella, I wouldn't have that opportunity. I'd be laid out on some concrete floor next to my old man with bullet holes covering my body."

My eyes immediately looked at Emmett. I hadn't even considered Emmett might have lost someone yesterday. The thought had never crossed my mind.

"Edward, yes, Bella probably should've stayed back with your baby. But…I'm sure as hell thankful she didn't. Now, at least I have a chance to see my girl again. And because of her, you'll have a chance to meet your son."

I uncrossed my arms, feeling a surge of triumph at Emmett's supportive words.

"And you," he then turned on me, "We _are_ thankful. We'll never be able to repay you, but if we're going to make it out of here, you can't be so damn stubborn. We know you're a badass chick. We'll submit to that fact, but your stubbornness just might cost us in the end. I understand you're bitter and feel this…anger, but let it go! For all our sakes, let it go, Bella."

Emmett shook his head and gave us another look of disappointment.

"Now, if you could try not to kill one another, it'd be nice if you could work out your issues before we leave this cabin. Once we leave here, we'll be in dangerous territory, and your squawking might end up getting us killed, and some of us _want_ to see our loved ones again."

He pulled his towel tighter and walked back into the bathroom. I didn't look at Edward, because I wasn't ready for our eyes to meet just yet, and I could tell he was staring at me and waiting for me to begin. I didn't want to give him that satisfaction, until Emmett's words came back at me, what he had spoken of my stubborn nature.

"Edward…" I started.

"Bella," he said at the same time.

His feet unfroze from their spot on the wooden floor, and he slowly took a few steps towards me.

"I'm sorry," he began again. "I didn't mean to say that…because you were a woman, you weren't capable. Obviously, you are. You always were. I just…never wanted you to risk your life for me, especially since we're already so unbalanced."

"Unbalanced?" I questioned.

He sighed. "I keep trying to catch up, but…I'm never going to…"

He looked angry once again, and I wondered if we were going to go against Emmett's wishes and continue fighting.

"I'm never going to be able to repay you for what you did for me. After all the ways I hurt you, you still risked your life, you risked everything to come and find me. I'll never be able to match what you did," he said, irritated.

I furrowed my brow and replied, "I didn't realize I'd requested compensation."

Edward was ready to say something, but his frustration was outweighing his ability to speak articulately. His mouth moved to say more, but nothing came out. Finally, he gave up and sat down on the chair.

It occurred to me that he might still be struggling, since his brain had basically been on autopilot for months, so I tried to be patient.

"I just wish…"

"No! Don't say anything," I cut him off. "What I did…wasn't brave. It was stupid. Why did I do it? I don't know. I just didn't want our son to grow up without his father. I did this for him."

I squeezed my eyes shut tight and hated that, for the first time, I was able to lie convincingly to Edward.

"I'm lying," I confessed. "I didn't do this for him…not entirely. I did it because…

_Just say it, Bella. _

"…because I love you. Even though I know you'll never love me the way I love you. I even told your father…"

"I love you, too, Bella," Edward said sincerely.

"No, Edward," I dismissed. "I don't just love you. I'm _in_ love with you. I've always been in love with you. Way before you ever kissed me in the rose garden. Even while you were at school. Even after everything you said to James. I'm _in_ love with you."

I felt my tears come down my face, and they embarrassed me. It wasn't bad enough I had finally confessed to Edward my true feelings, but now, I had tears to add to the humiliation.

Edward stood and walked to me, determined.

"I'm in love with you, too, Bella. Before the rose garden. Away at school, I hated myself that I could hurt you the way I did, because…I'll never stop loving you. I hate myself for how I treated you, because I, more than anyone, am the reason you're so…insecure. I made you feel as if you weren't worthy, but I know I'm not worthy of you or your love. Why do you think there've been so many issues between us? I've tried not to love you, but there will never be a world that exists where that's a possibility."

My head hurt from his forced confession. I wondered if he would have said anything if I hadn't unburdened my soul first. I wanted to leap for joy and tell my heart it had every right to beat faster and faster. Part of me, however, wondered if I hadn't been captured, and I was currently in the white ward, alone...with the lights off, and I was dreaming…

My hand wanted to reach out and touch his, to see if it was real. Edward said this simple gesture let him know his true reality.

Would it work for me?

I must have been silent for too long, because Edward made a move in my direction, sensing I was too lost in my own thoughts to respond.

My bewildered eyes slowly made the move to his, and I could see the war within him. His hands reached out and snaked around my waist, and I didn't even have enough time to contemplate his touch, before his lips were on mine.

It felt like the first kiss we had shared, when Edward had come back from school, and we had been discussing our fake engagement.

Awkward.

_Let go, Bella. Let it all go._

My eyes closed, and I allowed myself the enjoyment I felt, as his tongue gently massaged mine. Hades be with me, as the only thought in my mind was pulling off this flannel and jumping on Edward. I didn't care how dirty he was. Or how smelly. I didn't care if I was still bleeding. I didn't care if this silly, unreasonable move led us to another baby.

Bring on the babies!

"About damn time," Emmett laughed, as he walked back in and caught us.

Mentally, the babies disappeared, and the clothes came back on, as I pushed Edward off, embarrassed we had been caught in a compromising position.

Edward cleared his throat and wiped his mouth subtly.

"You probably should shower, Edward, before you go any further. You might think she won't mind, but deep down, she'll be silently judging you," Emmett joked.

I felt my face blush at his inappropriate words, and Edward mumbled something about needing to use the restroom. When he was gone, I headed toward the kitchen, smacking Emmett on the back of the neck as I went.

"Hey!" he screamed out.

"Don't be crude."

I pulled the fish out of the skillet and stabbed my fork at it.

"Why? Because a lady is present?"

I scoffed. "After the things I've seen, even if you diamonds win the war, I'm sure they'll never allow me to step foot in Kensington again."

"What do you mean, you diamonds? Aren't you a part of that you?"

I realized my mistake and swallowed my bite before sealing my lips shut.

"Bella? You're a diamond, too. You were taken in by the most prominent family in the state. If they didn't think of you as a diamond, they would've let you go, instead of holding you hostage."

I sighed. "You're probably right. But I don't feel like a diamond, and to be honest, after everything I've seen, a part of me understands why the lessers revolted."

"They just murdered nearly every wealthy male in the north!" Emmett argued.

"I'm not saying I believe what they did was right. I still can't understand how my friend, the leader of the Resistance, could order his men to kill a whole mess of people. But how many more lessers have died in the white ward for less? How many were sentenced to be there for insignificant crimes?

"You have no idea the number of bodies I personally had to transport in just the short time I was in there. And after experiencing it, do you feel it's a justifiable punishment for someone who…steals a loaf of bread to feed their family? For a woman who's caught giving herself an abortion, because she can't feed the mouths she's responsible for? Or a man who made the mistake of going against a prominent family?" I said, thinking of Jacob.

"Look, I know Sam must be in pain. If what that soldier said was true, his beloved pregnant wife, Emily, is dead, and so are a roomful of innocent children. It just doesn't make any sense."

Emmett nodded solemnly. "I know. I just…don't understand what happened. You told me about that video, and there isn't anyone I know of who'd easily murder a whole roomful of children, no matter what happened.

"The Whitlocks must be in charge of fighting the Resistance, but even as scary as senior Whitlock is, I don't see him resorting to these drastic measures. He's always respected the rules of war. Killing an innocent would go against those rules."

I went back to my fish and finished it, while Emmett sat in silence.

I placed my plate in the sink and ran some water over it. When I turned back around, Emmett was looking at me.

"You're right. After what I experienced…I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The white wards should be disbanded."

I felt uneasy, because I wondered if his experiences were the same as Edward's.

"Edward said he was…aware the whole time. Were you aware, too?"

Emmett's eyes shifted to the floor, as I was sure he was recalling his nightmare.

"Yeah…I was aware," he replied softly. "Even now, it's hard, because since you _woke _me up, I feel like I have to struggle with the flashbacks. I'm trying to piece together what was real, and it all kind of blends together. I try not to think about it, but it never goes away."

Edward came back in, and he was wearing a red plaid shirt and a pair of jeans that looked far too big on him. It seemed as if he had managed to make a tie and had secured them around his waist, so he wouldn't have to worry about them falling.

"That was the best shower of my life," he proclaimed.

I smiled at him, knowing how he must feel. His hair even looked a shade lighter for his efforts.

"We need to figure out our next move. As great as this cabin is, I don't think we can stay here until the wars are over," Emmett said.

I walked over to the couch and sat, pulling my bag near me. I felt my heart speed up, as Edward took a seat next to me. I tried to focus on finding the GPS device and hoped I wasn't blushing, but when I finally looked back up with it in hand, Emmett smiled at me knowingly.

I scowled and turned it on and quickly typed in the information before turning it off just as quickly

"It says it's over sixteen hundred miles to the border of Mexico. Somehow, I don't think we'll be able to walk there…not without it taking an obscene amount of time."

"Well, how did you make it this far north?" Edward asked.

"Mrs. Cope told me of a supply freight train that was heading this way. I stowed away on it, and then I jumped off, when I felt the train slowing. Even if we were to walk back to the tracks, which is probably a two-day walk from here, I have no idea the train schedule, and I don't think we can just sit around by the tracks waiting for one."

I saw Emmett and Edward's eyes were trained on me with questions.

"What?" I asked.

"You _jumped_ _off_ a moving train?" Edward asked.

"It was…slowing."

Emmett shook his head in disbelief. "Wow! I mean…wow!"

I shrugged and replied, "I did what I had to."

Edward reached over and took my hand, squeezing it in silent appreciation.

"Okay, so…I guess we're going to have to walk, and hopefully, we can figure out the transportation thing as we go," Emmett said.

"Preferably near the river, so we have a constant water source," I added.

Emmett stood from the recliner, went to the small end table, and pulled out the top drawer. He brought back a pen and paper. He got down on his hands and knees and began to draw a vague outline of our country.

"So, we're here, and Mexico is down there," he began, marking a small "X" on the two locations. "There's a river that runs until about here, but after that, the river ends, and we're going to have to find another source. Also, I only know my way in these woods for probably about a quarter of the way. After that, we'll have to rely heavily on the GPS."

Edward's eyes met mine, as we silently agreed with Emmett's plans.

"We should spend one more night here, just to make sure you're rested," Emmett said to Edward. "We'll go through the house and gather only what we can use and carry on our backs. Then, we head out at dawn. It's imperative that everyone is ready to go. When we leave here, we leave behind any shit that was going on. We have to stick together out there. There's no place for fickle fighting, understand?"

Once again, Edward and I looked at one another. We nodded in agreement, and then we got to work, looking for anything that could be of use to us on our journey.

* * *

**AN: Purely selfish reasons that I posted this chapter now but I love to wake up to awesome reviews on my birthday. Plus it has become a tradition that I always post a chapter on my bday. **

**Teaser to be posted tomorrow.**

**A big thanks to Fran and DOLLYBIGMOMMA for their help in editing and guiding. **

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

**Into the Woods**

We were heading home.

Even though Mexico or the island where we were supposed to meet up with Esme and the rest of our family wasn't technically home, I felt I had to keep reminding myself that our goal was to get there. Any place with our family would be home. Right?

When we left our safe sanctuary the next morning, I briefly felt the need to run back inside and fasten myself to a table leg and refuse to let go.

After being shot at by the Resistance soldiers, my nerves were once again nearly fried, as we made our way into the woods.

Emmett had found a long nylon sack that held a sleeping bag. He dumped it out and filled the bag with various supplies, including a sturdy knife. We only had the thermos Mrs. Cope had given us, and the water bottle Jasper had spared me. Thankfully, there had been a generous supply of the tablets that purified dirty water at the cabin. The McCarty's were a very peculiar family. So far, they didn't seem to follow the social norms of prime and proper. With Emmett's knowledge and this cabin's supplies, they seemed a little too outdoorsy.

Emmett walked ahead of us, since he knew the area well, and Edward and I followed along behind. When it had just been me, I could go at my own pace, but embarrassingly enough, when I was with Emmett, he tended to walk faster. However, he noticed Edward was having trouble keeping up and slowed down a bit. I was thankful, but a little worried, too.

This experience had put Edward in a whole new light. Never before had he been so vulnerable. But he was just as stubborn as I was, because he refused to ask Emmett to go slower.

"My feet are already killing me, and we've only been at this a few hours," I said, trying to attempt small talk with Edward.

He nodded. "Yeah…but I welcome the pain. It's preferable."

"Sorry," I apologized, thinking how stupid I was for bringing up the subject.

"It's okay, Bella. Please, don't feel the need to hold back."

I sighed and continued to focus on the rocks and branches on the ground.

"So…" he started off apprehensively, "I shared with you some things. I…wonder if you'd share with me…"

I finally looked to my left at him with a questioning glance. "Share what, exactly?"

I saw his shoulders shrug out of my peripheral, as I continued to watch the path in front of me. Emmett was bouncing along a few paces ahead, as if we were taking a nice stroll in the park.

"I want to know, Bella. I want to know what you had to go through."

My mouth sealed shut involuntarily, as I thought about the past few weeks. He wanted details. I worried that, if I began to share, it would turn me into a blubbering mess.

"I don't know if now is the time," I replied.

Edward sighed. "You don't trust me."

I scoffed. "No…I don't trust myself, Edward. You have no idea…I can't just tell you _everything_. Some things...if I had to relive them right now…well, I don't think it'd help us move along any quicker, if I have to stop and keep myself from hyperventilating. It wasn't exactly easy on my end."

Edward shook his head. "No, of course, I don't think it was easy for you. I mean…I can't imagine what you must've gone through. The way you tossed those dead bodies aside, as if you were merely moving bags of flour…I knew then, you must've gone through a horror show to be blind to it."

I felt embarrassed, thinking of how Edward had looked at me that day. I wanted to share with him, but I really didn't think now was the time.

"Look, I'm sorry. You're right. If I had to tell you about my experiences while we hiked this trail, I'd probably slow you both down even more than I already am," he replied. "But there's something I want to say right now. I want to get this out in the open."

I felt my feet slowing, as my mind wandered, trying to imagine what he would say next.

"You accomplished a miracle. I may never know all the challenges you had to overcome to find me, but I've thought a lot about this since yesterday. I never should've gotten upset with you. My irrational anger is something I should work on in the future. I think I was so upset, because I always felt it was my job to protect _you_, and here you are…experiencing atrocities on your own while trying to save me. But I want you to know, Bella." He paused, while he gathered the courage to say it. "I have faith in you. After everything you did, I'll put my trust in you from now on. I'll let you lead, since it's obvious you make wise decisions. I'll give you my opinion, but I won't fight you, as I've done in the past. I love you, and I trust you with my life. I know this journey will be hard, and I know if we make it, it'll be because of you."

My feet stopped walking. My head turned to stare up at Edward, to see if he was sincere in his declaration. Unfortunately, Edward in the past would make an honorable declaration, and then, when the going got tough, he would renege. I wanted to believe him, but mentally, I couldn't allow myself to.

"Thank you," I said, hoping it would placate him. I would wait skeptically to see if he would indeed make good on his word.

The first night we made camp, Emmett passed out nearly immediately after we were done eating the rabbit he had caught.

Emmett advised we should put out the fire he had made with his magic stones the minute he was through cooking. It seemed exceptionally dark, but it was a new moon, so it was to be expected.

Edward didn't lie down. Instead, he drew pictures in the dirt with a stick. I couldn't stop staring at him. His face was still beautiful, but it had changed. I wondered if I would ever see his carefree smile again, or if the Resistance had killed that, too.

"He looks like you. He has your hair."

Edward stopped drawing in the dirt and looked up at me.

"Your father was there; he delivered our son. I…uh…named him…Edward Carlisle. I hope that's okay."

Even with the scant light, I could tell Edward had tears swimming in his eyes. He nodded. "I really hope I get the opportunity to meet him."

I took a shallow breath and let it go. "Yeah…he'll be…completely different the next time we see him, and I know we will."

I pulled my blanket over my shoulders. Edward scooted closer to me and shook out his and laid it across our legs.

My eyes continued to stare at our once-smoldering fire. Now, it was completely out, and not even a hint of smoke rose from the ashes. Edward placed his arm around me, and I felt a little awkward by his proximity.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

I nodded and swallowed. "Sorry, I just…" I shook my head to stop myself from saying what I wanted to. I knew my words might upset him.

"What?" he pressed.

"I just…you being close and…attentive. Well, it's everything I ever wanted, and so…a part of me wonders if this is really happening. Maybe I was captured, and I'm in the white ward…dreaming. I keep telling myself I'm being stupid, but…I guess I just never thought you'd ever come around and want me."

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

I snorted. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"No," he shook his head immediately. "I did this. I made you believe I'd never want you. My stupid, immature talk of bedding other women while we were married. Telling you I wasn't ready to be married, but that I might be someday. After everything that happened, I wish I could go back and smack sense into myself. How could I have been so incredibly thoughtless? So scared of commitment? I don't blame you for not trusting me. I have much to make up for."

I sighed. "Look, can we just…forget it? Forget how horrible we were in the past? I know I'm just as much to blame. I should've told you from the beginning how I felt. I shouldn't have been so scared or embarrassed of my feelings. If you really want to be with me and try this…relationship stuff, then we have to let go of the imaginary chalkboard that holds our tallies. We need a clean slate. I do trust you, Edward…I mean…I want to trust you. I'm just scared. Scared you'll eventually want something different. Someone else. I don't want you to be with me because you feel indebted to me…"

"No, Bella," he interrupted. "It's not that at all. I meant what I said. I love you. If there isn't anything else you can believe, at least know I'm truthful, when I say I'm in love with you."

Boldly, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him, placing my head on his chest. His hands landed on my back, and slowly, he brought me down to lie beside him.

The ground was rough, and yet, with Edward as a makeshift pillow, I would rather lie here with him than in the comfiest bed, alone.

He wanted me to trust him, so I decided to share and hoped it would be the first step in making our new relationship an honest one.

"The first white ward I went to…hoping you'd be there…was Hollowbrook. Mrs. Cope managed to obtain a uniform from a white ward down south, and your father told me that, in order to infiltrate one, I should tell them I worked in maintenance. From the first time I stepped into Hollowbrook, to the last minute I was there, I thought I'd be killed..."

I went on to explain in great detail my first experiences in hell. He wanted to know, and I wanted to be sure he wouldn't look at me differently after I did.

"So, there I was, in my first room…and…"

I stopped, afraid to continue. Would Edward feel bad, knowing he had subjected Jacob Black to that place, just for some stupid plot devised by my sister?

"They have these pictures on the backs of the chairs. If you wronged someone, you'd be forced to stare at that picture and nothing else. I was pulling the pans and looking into every single male set of eyes, hoping I'd find yours staring back at me, but I saw a picture, and it caught me off guard."

I sat up and pulled my bag to me. I dug my hand in deep and found the laminated photograph. Edward sat up, and I handed it off to him.

I saw his eyes narrow and mouth open in surprise.

"It was placed in front of Jacob Black's chair."

Edward's head snapped up, so he could look me in the eyes.

"I was wronged more than anyone, with the plot put on me by my sister, but Jacob didn't deserve that, Edward."

He slowly shook his head in disbelief. "Bella…I didn't...I never went through with it. I didn't order Jacob Black to be sent to the white ward. You believe me, right?" he asked desperately.

I rubbed my eyes, and then I took the photo of Edward and myself back, looking down at it.

"Jessica," I whispered. "She did this."

"Look, I wanted to, but…when it came time, I couldn't go through with it."

I scoffed. "Of course, Jessica would have no problem finishing what you couldn't."

I think I might have hated Jessica even more in that moment. Even now, she had the ability to manipulate me. This whole time, she'd had me believing Edward was the kind of person who could sentence a man to life in that abominable hellhole.

After that, I didn't want to continue. I guessed my harrowing tale of indecision on whether to save Emmett's life would have to wait for later.

I lay down, moving slowly back into Edward's arms, and closed my eyes for the night. Emmett's loud snores were making it difficult to find the rest I deserved. I briefly wondered if all the ruckus he was making would be our undoing.

We made more progress the next day, only stopping for water refills and one short break to rest our aching feet in the hottest part of the afternoon. To be honest, if I were ever in a position to meet Sam again, I would have the common courtesy to thank him for planning his rebellion in the spring and summer months. If they had begun their uprising in December, we probably wouldn't have made it more than a day, with battling the winter's harsh conditions.

We stuck to the river's edge, even though the natural dramatic curves caused our walk to be longer. It was preferable, to have a constant water source.

I was impressed how Emmett's upbringing had allowed him to know the area so well. He knew the river like the back of his hand. Telling us when we should travel across to avoid certain problematic areas, like Hollowbrook and other habitations we couldn't count on to be friendly. The first time we had to cross, however, Edward almost failed in his promise to me.

"We have to cross here," Emmett said and then looked knowingly to me. I shied away from his pointed gaze and focused on my knapsack. "It's best to take off your clothes, so you won't be forced to walk in wet clothing afterward. But what do I know?"

Edward caught the exchange between us, but I wouldn't look up. I put my focus on pulling off my shoes and dirty socks and stuffing them into my bag.

"Is there something I should know?" Edward asked.

Emmett's playful eyes reached for the sky, and I sighed loudly, irritated he felt the need to make a big stink out of this.

"Yeah, Emmett's a jerk," I replied.

"Me?" Emmett asked with a high-pitched, fake voice.

"He wanted me to get naked," I snapped. "Sorry if I want to maintain some decency. I, myself, have already witnessed my fair share of lewdness. Thank you, Hollowbrook. Thank you, Northern State."

"That's not what I was referring to. I didn't have a problem dressing down, because I didn't want to get my clothes wet, but I could see Bella struggling, and so, being the gentleman I was, I offered her help, and since you know how stubborn your woman can be, she refused, causing herself and her bag to fall into the river. Then, I had to drop _my_ clothes, in order to save her," he heroically recounted.

I stood up, with my bare feet digging into the little rocks, and rolled my eyes.

"First of all, he didn't save me. He saved my bag," I corrected.

"The same bag that nearly got me killed. Hmm…I have a feeling that bag is going to be the death of me," Emmett said. He shook his head and looked a little worried he had just jinxed himself. Slyly, I saw him move towards the nearest tree with his outstretched hand and knock twice. "Anyway, are we going to have any issues this time around?"

I shook my head and leaned down to roll up my pant legs.

"You're really going to cross wearing your clothes?" Edward asked skeptically, as he began to pull off his flannel top.

I remembered the night he'd had sex with me. His abs looked much better back then. Weeks in the white ward had caused him to lose some of his muscle and tone.

"Of course, I am. You may have seen me naked…once, but that doesn't mean I fancy Emmett seeing me that way, and I don't know if I'm ready for you to see me like that again, either."

"Bella, Emmett will be in front and will promise not to look," he said, giving Emmett a threatening eye. "And…I'll try to not look, other than to check and see if you're okay. I promise."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about me. I've walked in wet clothes before. It may not be the most comfortable, but it's preferable."

Edward sighed, and I could tell he was slowly losing it.

"Just keep your undergarments on, and I'll carry your clothes. I'll give them back the second we're done, and both Emmett and I won't watch you redress. You remember what Emmett said about being stubborn," he recalled.

My hands closed into tight fists, and my eyes narrowed.

"And do you remember the promise you made me about letting me lead...only giving your opinion and nothing more? Well, I've heard your opinion, and I don't want to cross a river naked with my…whatever you are, and Emmett, the most obnoxious man of the north. This is none of your concern. Wearing clothes isn't putting anyone in danger, so just let me be!" I snapped.

Edward held up his hands and turned around, probably to keep me from seeing how pissed off he was by my decision. Emmett shook his head and rolled his eyes, and then he proceeded to drop his drawers. Immediately, I turned my head to the left, but the way the sun bounced off his unusually white butt, it made it hard for me to miss. Emmett's hairy white bottom would be forever seared into my brain. Thankfully, it was that side and not the front I had witnessed. I never wanted to see another gardening hose again after my time in the white ward. Well…other than Edward's, when the time was right.

I heard feet approaching me, but I refused to turn and see.

"Hand me your bag," he said.

I closed my eyes and turned my head towards him and lifted the bag up, waiting for him to take it. I felt him accept it, and I waited with my eyes shut, until I was sure he was away and down at the water's edge.

Edward had his clothes and shoes folded nicely in a pile, and my eyes tried not to look in his direction, but oh, my heavens, I couldn't help it, as they quickly made a move to peek, when I finally stood from the ground. I only managed to catch sight of a pale butt cheek, however.

I walked towards the river, seeing Emmett already waist-deep, and passed by Edward quickly, but his hand reached out to grab my arm.

"Please, Bella. Would you please just take off your pants? I don't want to see you uncomfortable or chaffing. I promise I won't look," he begged one last time.

I looked over at his face, and it took all the willpower I had left to not glance down. I sighed, annoyed, and then I relented.

"Go ahead. I'll be down soon. Don't look at me!" I ordered.

Edward nodded and leaned down to grab his clothes. He began to walk to the water's edge, and this time, I did look. I stared the whole time it took for Edward to make it there; I was sure with a silly little grin gracing my face. I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them off. I tugged down the red and blue flannel top, hoping it would cover my bottom and front, and it did, marginally. With my pants folded, Edward waited with his back to me, his hands over his head carrying his clothes. Emmett was a few feet in front of him, and I could hear them talking to one another over the loud rushing of the quick-moving water that surged downstream.

My feet met the edge of the river, and I called out to them. "Okay, I'm coming in."

I nearly warned them once again not to look back, but I refrained and hoped they would honor their promises.

I stepped in and slowly moved towards them, cringing as my feet stepped on some jagged rocks.

"Bella, how are you doing back there?" Edward asked with a slight turn of his head.

"Fine. Just hurts is all."

"Do you want to take my hand?" Edward called out.

"No. I'm fine."

I didn't want there to be a chance he might drop his clothes and be put in the same situation as Emmett the first time we had ventured across the river.

Emmett made it to the other side and began to redress. I caught up with Edward and walked directly behind him, my hand fighting not to reach out and touch his smooth, naked back. His nice, beautiful, naked…

"Bella!" Edward called out loudly. "Did you hear me?"

I snapped out of my dirty, sinful fantasies and thanked the heavens he could not see my blushing face.

"Sorry, I'm just focusing on not falling in," I lied.

"I said there's a big boulder up ahead, and I want us to go left, okay?"

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me, and reached out to lay my hand on his upper thigh. "Got it."

Edward shifted the clothes in his hands and reached one hand down to take mine. I followed him across, my eyes focused on the crack of his bottom playing with the top of the rushing water. Once we made it to the other side, Edward squeezed my hand and let it go, as he walked up to where Emmet was sitting and began to redress. I waited at the water's edge for Emmett to turn around, before I shook my pants out and began to pull them on over my wet underwear. It wasn't comfortable, but it was preferable to wet jeans. When I was finished, Emmett had pulled out my shoes and socks and had them waiting for me.

"So, be honest. Did you gander at the goods?" Emmett laughed.

I gave him an evil eye, pulling on my socks and shoes quickly. I stood back up, ready to come at him with a snappy comeback, when my eyes met a horrifying sight.

Edward's eyes followed mine, and he jumped back instantly, moving to stand in front of me.

Emmett jumped up and looked behind him at the tall, dark, enormous black bear.

"Don't move!" Emmett ordered.

The damn thing was only twenty or so feet away from us. That didn't seem like good advice. My butt wanted to haul back off towards the river and take my chances with the sharp rocks and fast waters.

Emmett's hand slowly reached into my bag, and the bear made an unholy, guttural roar.

And then, Emmett did something I wasn't expecting. He moved _towards_ the damn thing, his arms held out and in the air. I then saw the gun in his outstretched right hand.

I craned my neck around Edward, hoping to see what was happening. On my best day, I doubted I could outrun a bear. Edward felt me peeking around his arm, and he pushed me back further.

The bear wasn't backing down from Emmett's comical attempts. We should have run, right?

"Edward," I whispered.

He hushed me.

Emmett pointed the gun directly at the bear, and just as I believed it would try and take a swipe at Emmett, he fired off two rounds directly under its arm. His poor aim didn't even get close to the heart.

Now, the beast was angry. Wounded, but angry.

Mentally, I took note that we had two fewer bullets now. I shook my head and tried not to worry about inventory.

"Aim for the head!" I screamed.

"Shut it, Bella!" Emmett hissed.

The bear limped towards Emmett. It wasn't moving nearly as fast as I would have thought, but its gnashing teeth were very convincing that this unholy beast would be the end of us.

The bear advanced, but by the way it moved, it seemed as if it were drunk, given the way it stumbled and swayed.

Emmett raised the gun once more, as he jogged backwards. He was ready to try again. The growls were loud and threatening, so I took a step back. Edward's hand reached out behind him, and he grabbed my wrist.

Emmett was closing in on the black bear again, and I wanted to scream at him to move, but he must have lost all common sense or was paralyzed in fear, because he had stopped and wasn't moving.

I suddenly had the vision of having to explain to Rosalie that I had saved Emmett from the white ward, only for him to be taken down by a bear. She'd never believe it.

Emmett shot the bear once more, point blank in the face, and this time, it seemed as if his aim was spot on. It went straight through the eye, causing the bear to cease immediately and fall to the ground; the weight of the damn thing blew up a cloud of dirt and leaves.

Edward breathed a sigh of relief, and Emmett looked back to us. He seemed surprised at first, but then it hit, and he held out his hands in a triumphant pose and made these silly movements to show off his muscles. The fear I'd had was gone, and now, I could roll my eyes at his ludicrous behavior.

Emmett was making such a scene, prancing around the dead animal. He put his foot up on the damn thing and pretended he had just conquered the war with this one kill.

"Stop being such an idiot," I called out.

"This idiot just saved your life! Ha! I guess it's Edward's turn to step up and repay you."

I saw Edward stiffen, probably still feeling sore that, somehow, we were carrying on this point system between us. And now, Emmett had just reminded him how far behind he was.

Emmett continued to dance around, until I saw him suddenly stop. His arms lowered slowly, but he kept one palm visible, the gun in his hand aimed at the ground, but his finger never left the trigger.

Edward and I looked toward the cause of his change in behavior, and standing there, dressed in a full black uniform, was a soldier from the Resistance, accompanied by another older gentleman.

This was the end for us.

We had been found.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing! You guys are awesome. My birthday well wishes were the very best part of my day! Thank you again!**

**Thank you to Fran and Dollybigmomma for editing and always being there to help me move this story in the right direction. A great big help!**

**Teaser posted tomorrow. Ashley Victoria of Los Angeles on Facebook if you haven't looked me up yet.**

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

**The Last Good Man**

All through my harrowing experiences to find Edward, I had known that, at some point, this exact moment would come.

I had been terrified the first time I had approached the gates of Hollowbrook and lied to the guards at the doors, hoping for entrance.

When I had decided to rescue Emmett from the white ward, I had expected to be caught.

And then, when Edward had held me tight, while we had heard the gunfire from right outside the door to the closet where we had been hiding, I had half expected to be found and immediately shot.

I had been scared many times throughout this journey, but this was the very first time I had actually been caught. However, instead of fear, there was something else bubbling to the surface.

I wasn't afraid of the two men standing in front of us, not as I probably should have been. All I felt was…anger. I had managed to help not one, but two men escape from the white wards. This was not how my story would end.

The man in the Resistance uniform didn't look like the average soldier I had come across before. He was too thin for one, and rather scrawny, with glasses to boot. The man standing beside him was older, with a peppered white and black beard. He stood, placing most of his weight on the long stick he carried.

The scrawny soldier had a rifle in his hands, but it wasn't pointed at us.

"We don't mean you any harm," Emmett spoke first, his hands still raised in the air.

"I recognize you," the one dressed in all black said, looking at Edward.

Edward shifted uncomfortably on his feet, as we waited for these men to threaten us and call for backup.

"They have your picture up all over town, said you escaped from Northern State?"

Edward nodded.

The man dressed in black lowered his rifle, allowing the butt of the gun to rest on the ground. "I don't know what you're doing…planning…"

"We're just trying to make it down south...to Mexico," I spoke up, stepping out from behind Edward. "Please. Please, just let us pass."

The two men looked at one another.

"Okay," the man dressed in all black said with a shrug of his shoulders. "But…do you mind helping us carry the bear back to our cabin? We have an awful lot of mouths to feed, and that bear could last us a while if cared for properly."

Emmett, Edward, and I shared a look. "You're not going to turn us in?" I asked.

The older gentleman shifted his weight, using the long cane to help him keep his balance, but he didn't say one word.

The scrawny Resistance soldier looked down at his gun and sighed. "No…I uh…I just want the bear. I don't care what or who you are. We just need help. We can't carry the bear on our own. My family's need for food far outweighs any loyalty I have to the Resistance."

He stepped forward and held out a hand towards Emmett, "I'm Benjamin, and this is Harry."

Emmett looked confused at the gesture, but he accepted his hand, as he gave him our first names.

"Sorry if we scared you. We heard the shots and came running. Well, I came running. My old friend here came hobbling," he laughed.

We all joined in rather tensely, still unsure of whether we should trust them.

"Is that a .45? You brought that beast down with a .45?" the old man asked, speaking up for the first time.

Emmett beamed with pride. "Well, it wasn't my first bear kill. And you should've seen the look on these two. I thought they were going to crap their pants," he laughed, using his thumb to point in our direction.

I took the bags from Edward and Emmett, while they helped pick the bear up off the ground. The men grunted, as they slowly carried the carcass and followed the older gentleman. I brought up the rear.

Emmett had given me the gun back, and I had it on top of the bag, ready to grab it the moment this went south. The cabin was less than a half-mile away, and I could feel my nerves on edge as we approached, half expecting a slew of Resistance soldiers to jump out and surprise us. But thankfully, nothing happened when we reached the front door.

The lights were on inside, and the chimney was putting out white smoke. The picturesque setting nearly made me calm, but in this game, I would never allow myself to not be prepared for the worst.

The men dropped the bear, stretched their bodies, and groaned loudly from their tedious task.

I set the bags down, and Edward walked back over to me, smelling of sweat.

"Thank you," we heard Ben say.

I didn't know what possessed me to ask, but without thinking things through, my mouth opened. "Why aren't you jumping up and down to turn us in?"

Everyone's eyes were quickly on me. The older man, Harry, gave me a concerned look, but Benjamin looked down and shook his head sadly.

"Look, I wasn't exactly in favor of the old regime. Sure, I thought things should change, but…it's getting worse out there, and it's a whole different war than the one I signed up for."

Benjamin walked over and pulled a rocking chair up for his friend, and Harry proceeded to sit and rest his legs.

"Things weren't great before, but at least we had food. The way things are heading, I don't know if anyone will make it out of this alive. The lessers…we were happy for this new freedom, but Sam wasn't prepared for all the jobs that needed to be taken care of. He's been pushing to move our lines south and west, but we don't have the manpower to push both ways. The west and south have cut off the food shipments they'd normally make, which means the prices have nearly quadrupled overnight. The lessers don't have that kind of money," he explained.

"Are there riots?" Edward asked.

"They're starting. Only certain jobs have been receiving constant pay, but the new regime doesn't have it all sorted out, so now, with food being so expensive, the majority of lessers are not receiving pay for their work…"

"Oh, man," Emmett said, running his dirty hand over his face.

"So, you see why we're desperate for the bear. I know the penalty for consorting with a diamond, but right now, I can't find it in me to care. I have many more worries than a runner from a white ward. I know you weren't the ones who killed those children."

A rush of cold air came over me, and I shivered. Partly because my underwear and the bottom of my shirt were still wet, and the sun was beginning its descent. But mostly, I think I shivered because I thought of Emily.

"Did…Emily, Sam's wife…I knew her. Did they…is she…"

I couldn't even say the words.

"They made her watch, as they killed the children execution-style. Twelve souls in all. She was the last…I'm sorry."

I felt myself crumble at his words...my hand clutching my chest, as if he had just ripped my heart from my body. Edward pulled me into his side and hugged me.

"Sam was…inconsolable. He wasn't in his right mind. I don't think he meant to do what he did. I hate the men who killed all those innocent souls, but what Sam did in the white wards wasn't right, either," Benjamin continued.

"You speak as if you know him," Emmett said.

Benjamin sighed and slowly shook his head. "I did…at least I thought I did..."

Benjamin looked like he was feeling the very same pain I was experiencing.

"I tried to make him see reason. I tried, but…I couldn't stay there after what he did. I'm probably just as much in danger as you are…Mr. Cullen."

So, he knew Edward's name. This was not good. It would make our trip all the more difficult, if the Resistance decided to publish Edward's picture.

"How'd you do it?"

We all looked to the older man. Edward appeared confused and shook his head slightly.

"You're the first man to escape a white ward," the man continued. "A long time ago, they'd have had nearly as many guards with guns as they had occupants, but ever since they started with their wonder drug, I know the place isn't exactly on the most secure network. But still…I can't imagine how one would do it."

Emmett stepped up with his chest puffed proudly. "Actually, I was the first person to escape a white ward. But I was so damn good, they still don't even know I'm missing," Emmett boasted.

Thankfully, Edward hauled off and smacked Emmett in the arm.

"Okay, yeah, so, I had some help," Emmett admitted, rubbing his arm and giving me a dutiful nod of his head.

I shook my head at him and scoffed.

"Well, we should probably get on our way. We need to make some more miles before it gets too late," Edward said, slowly backing up.

Benjamin nodded. "Thank you again. This bear will help a few families around here. We sure appreciate it."

Emmett gave him a respectful wave and began to back up to take his bag from my arms. I didn't know what possessed me to do it, but I kept my place on the ground, even though Edward's hand tugged at my arm to come along.

I reached into my knapsack and pulled out the small coin purse. I shook off Edward's grasp and pulled out the coins Carlisle had given me. We still had the money I had made from my time in the white ward. I knew it was silly of me to give it away, especially since our travels were only beginning. I would surely be upset with myself along the way, when we would perhaps need it to bribe someone.

I guessed, when it came down to it, I was thankful. These men could have been the end of us. However, they chose to be kind, in a time where kindness was running in short supply.

I handed Benjamin the money, and he looked into my eyes in surprise.

"May God be with you," I said softly.

"God bless you on your travels," he replied.

I nodded once, turned around, and walked back to Edward's outstretched hand.

We only made it a few steps, before Benjamin called out for me. "Bella?"

I turned, and Edward let go of my hand, so I could see what Benjamin wanted to say.

"Try to keep to the east. I know the river cheats to the west, but Sam is putting all his men on moving west. You'll be safer if you stick to the east."

"But what about all the soldiers who were guarding the women from the prominent families? The...diamond women, where are they?" I asked.

Benjamin shuffled forward and whispered, "They were transferred. Sent off to the labor camps. Sam couldn't waste manpower anymore on guarding them," he shrugged, "So, I guess it's good you got out when you did."

"You knew I was…"

"Specific orders were not to harm you. Even though you were one of them…he said you were too kind, and he didn't want to see anything happen to you. Sam was there the night they burned your house. He sent Emily to get you out. Emily was sweet and quiet, but when she heard what her husband planned, she made a huge stink about making sure you'd be left unharmed."

I felt a pain in my chest at his words. To know Emily had been concerned for my wellbeing, and then the kindest, gentlest soul had been taken…killed. Murdered. How was I alive, and she wasn't?

It was a good thing Edward was here. He took my hand and pulled me along into the dark woods.

Hours later, when I tripped for the umpteenth time, Emmett finally said we should stop and make camp. Since it was so dark, it was nearly impossible for him to find something to catch for dinner, so we went without.

My stomach grumbled, as I sat on the hard dirt of the forest floor. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, but I was lost in my own head, reliving the night of the fire.

Emmett was asleep, when Edward finally gathered the courage to speak. "I'm sorry about Emily; she was a kind woman. I know this must be hard on you."

I shook my head absently. I looked over to Edward, and the night was so black, I could barely make out any of the features on his beautiful face.

"I keep wondering how many more good people I know will die before this damn dispute is over. Their faces all flash through my mind, and even though I know I wasn't responsible for Emily's death, I still feel like I am."

"No…"

"I was there when they executed your father. Only a few yards away, standing at a bus stop. I could see his eyes, Edward. I saw his eyes, telling me to leave him, while my arms were heavy with our son. The gun went off, and that was it. Except it's not. I still see it. Over and over. It plagues my nightmares. The price I must pay for my involvement. And tonight, I'll go to sleep, and Emily will join Carlisle in my nightmares. Join the men who were slumped over in their chairs in the white ward, while the walls ran crimson with their blood. And even if I see my son again, I know I'll never have another peaceful night for the rest of my life."

I was a jerk. I'd never wanted to tell Edward the details of what I had witnessed. My only excuse was I knew I was losing it. Weeks of living in a horror show, and now, I was starting to crack. This wasn't good. I couldn't have a breakdown. I could put everyone at risk, if I lost the last marble rolling around up top.

Edward's hand grasped mine, and he squeezed and squeezed...tighter and tighter, until my fingertips throbbed, and I wondered if he wasn't ever going to stop, until my bones were crushed. Suddenly, he let go, and the relief was welcome.

"When I was in the white ward, what I can recall about my dreams…isn't pleasant," he said quietly. "It was preferable to being awake, but when my eyes closed, it wouldn't be you or someone else I cared for I'd see. It was always someone like…your sister. Jacob Black. Michael Newton. I'm embarrassed to say, I can't remember how many times it was Michael Newton.

"I don't even remember what the dreams were about. But it seemed as if every person I loved…never showed up. Since I've been out, I have dreams of you. Alice. Our son. But I also have nightmares, too. This time, it's not Michael Newton. I have nightmares of being back there. I look at Emmett sleeping…so peacefully, and it makes me angry. How can he not be affected? He was in there nearly as long as I was. Why isn't he having flashbacks and night terrors?"

His hand once again tightened around mine. I grunted out loud, when I couldn't stand the pain any longer, and the sound alerted Edward to what he was doing. He softly apologized and let go of my hand.

"When you started sleeping in my arms…I haven't had nightmares anymore," he confessed.

I took his cue and moved closer as he lay on the ground, and I snuggled into his side. I wished it were that easy for me, but I knew what would await me the moment my eyes closed, yet I gave in to the exhaustion.

The morning sun came up, awakening me from my nightmares, and I heard Emmett's fire crackling a few feet away from me.

I sat up and moved Edward's arm out of the way, while I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and brushed the dirt from my hair.

"Figured we'd have fish, since it'll be a few days until we're back to a water source. This'll be the last river bath you're going to get for a while, so I suggest you take your time and enjoy it," Emmett said.

I pulled my achy body up and grabbed my bag to head down to the river. Soap was one thing we all agreed on bringing with us. A change of underwear was another.

I looked around and made sure no one was watching, before I undressed quickly. When I pulled down my pants, I was filled with joy that my postpartum bleeding had finally stopped.

I took my underwear into the river and washed them good, before laying them on a rock in the sun. I wanted to do the same with the flannel shirt, but I worried it wouldn't be dry by the time I finished.

I sniffed the shirt and cringed. Edward must love me to put up with that god-awful stench. Into the river it must go! I swiped my soap bar over it a few times, and then I rinsed and placed it near my underwear.

Besides my feet and knees getting stabbed intermittently from the rocks below, I found myself lying back and letting the river water clean my hair.

I basked in the sun's rays and felt at peace, looking up into the sky at the trees that created a perfect border. The water played with my ears, as my head bobbed up and down. I would miss this river. It seemed to be the best cure for reenergizing me.

A spray of water covered my face, and instantly, my peaceful bath was ruined. I jumped up and saw Edward a few feet away. He was in up to his waist and laughing at the look on my face.

"Edward!" I snapped.

I moved towards the rocks, hoping they would provide adequate coverage. I had kept my bra on, but I was completely naked other than that.

"Don't be a spoilsport. I tried calling out to you, but I half expected you to be asleep for all the good it did me."

I uncomfortably moved around a boulder and peeked my head out.

"Will you stop? You don't need to be so self-conscious. I've seen it before, and it's beautiful."

He floated over in my direction, but I felt nervous the closer he got.

"Stay over there," I warned. "I mean it, Edward."

I tried to swipe some water in his direction, and it hit him square in the face. He looked shocked, but then his eyes turned mischievous, and in two quick strides, he was at my boulder, pulling me towards him.

"Edward, I mean it!" I screamed, as his arm came around my stomach and pulled my back to his chest.

I felt the fabric from his underwear play with my naked rear, and I wanted to turn around and smack him, but then his lips were on my neck. My body stiffened, but then I began to wonder if it felt more relaxing than my river bath.

He left soft kisses up and down my neck, and I finally gave in and relaxed completely in his arms. His hand moved along my stomach, and I nearly forgot to be embarrassed of my pudgy midsection.

I turned around, hoping to change position, so he would no longer be fondling my fat. I boldly put my arms around his neck, and he moved exactly where I wanted him.

I was lost in his kiss and so focused on wanting more, I didn't even notice his hands moving to my backside, until he squeezed my butt cheeks.

My body tingled in anticipation. One hand released my butt and moved to run over my fabric-covered nipples. I released him from the kiss and threw my head back, giving out such a moan, I briefly worried I'd alerted every animal within a five-mile radius of our location…including Emmett.

Edward slowed and brought his forehead to rest on mine. "That felt amazing," he whispered.

"Better than holding my hand?" I joked.

I saw him smile. The smile I once knew. The smile Edward Cullen was known for. The Resistance hadn't killed it after all.

"We should probably finish up, before Emmett comes down here and catches us," he said.

I sighed and let go of him, thankful I could use the rocky terrain as an excuse as to why my legs were wobbly. I turned around and headed back to my rock to find my underwear fairly dried. My flannel shirt, however, was still damp.

"Turn around. I'm going to dress," I requested.

Edward gave me a look, but then he rolled his eyes and turned. "So, you can see _me_ naked, but I'm not allowed to look?" he called out.

"What?" I asked, mildly offended.

"You don't really think I didn't know you looked at me when we crossed the river last time? Please, don't insult me."

Thank goodness he couldn't see my face flame red. "I didn't look more than I had to," I swore. It disturbed me how lying to Edward was becoming increasingly easier.

Not wanting to continue this conversation, I began to dress quickly, while I surreptitiously watched him as he washed himself, the sun hitting his perfect copper hair. He looked…normal. The way I once knew him.

Emmett had already finished breakfast, when I made it back to camp. He gave me a mischievous eye, probably guessing why I had been away so long.

"The fish is cold…" he said suggestively.

"Food is food," I responded, taking my fish off the rock where he had prepared it.

Edward joined us, just as I was finishing sucking the meat off the last bone. I would be happy to never eat another fish again once this was over. I had never been a fan to begin with, but I really hated how the tiny bones would stab my gums when I wasn't careful.

"Listen up," Emmett began, when Edward sat beside me. "We have two options, as I see it. We head to the east and hope Benjamin was being honest, when he advised us the Resistance soldiers were thin in those areas, or we continue on as we are and remain vigilant."

Edward looked to me, while I weighed the options.

"If we head east, this'll be the last time we have access to water for at least three days," Emmett reminded.

"I think we should listen to Benjamin," I replied. "We were lucky once, and I don't know if we'll be lucky again if we were to run into another soldier."

Emmett looked over to Edward, and after a few seconds, he nodded in agreement.

"Okay, we head east. Here's the other decision we need to make. We can go up and over this tiny mountain, which could save us a few days, or we can go around the base, which will be probably safer…"

I shook my head and grabbed my shoes. "No, I don't want to waste any more time than we have to; so, we'll have to climb the little hill and save a few days.

"Not a hill, Bella. A mountain. I mean…it's small, but it's super steep. There's a stream that runs on the path I was thinking of taking, which is a great source for water, but please, hear me out when I say it'll be a difficult trek. Are you sure you don't want to take the safer but longer route around the base?"

I sighed and bit my lip, while I thought it over once more. "The faster route is better. We'll just be sure to be extra careful."

"Okay," Emmett replied. "Let's pack up."

After days of climbing, I realized Emmett hadn't been kidding about the trek over the mountain being difficult. We had been making good progress, though, until suddenly…we weren't. I opened my eyes to find myself lying in disarray, looking up towards the sky and seeing Emmett and Edward in the distance. Their faces were frantic. They were so far away, and I wondered...was this where I would die?

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing. Your kind words spur me on. Thank you again to all who helped vote The Loser into the top ten fics of August.**

**Thank you to FRAN and DOLLYBIGMOMMA for their continuous work on these stories. You guys are the best.**

**So much to still come for this story but once its over, I will need a break from angst and begin working on my next story, I'm hoping a light romance. As of now, the working title is TROOP 1920. Give more details when this story begins to wrap up.**

**Teaser posted tomorrow...and hopefully, I can get a real jump on Chapter 14.**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

**Down the Up Hill**

_Pain._

_So much pain._

_Emmett and Edward look scared out of their wits. I should hold on...but it feels better when my eyes close. So what happens now? Fight or die?_

_I should have heeded Emmett's warnings. Damn me for being so stubborn. But, I guess I shouldn't jump ahead._

How many days had it been since rescuing Edward from the white ward?

Seven?

Eight?

How many days had we been in these woods? I used to love the woods; they were my home away from…well, I think I might have even loved them more than my own home. But now that I had been forced to trudge through them, my feet aching and my mouth utterly parched, I realized my love for the woods had died along with the old Bella.

Our water containers were bone dry, and I tried not to think of my sad, dry tongue or rumbling stomach. Somehow, it seemed as if it was ten degrees hotter than yesterday. I found myself tempted to turn on the phone Jasper had given me, just to check if I was, indeed, correct in my assessment of the weather, or if I was delusional with thirst.

I knew our feet were moving slower than yesterday. I even saw Edward stumble a few times.

"How many days has it been since Northern State?" I asked, hoping the answer would cause my brain to stop trying to count.

Six? No, eight.

"Seven," Emmett replied.

"No, it's been nine days," Edward said.

I sighed. And here I was banking on eight.

"It hasn't been nine days. Maybe eight. I'll concede to that, but it hasn't been nine," Emmett argued.

"I think I can remember how many days since it practically felt like a rebirth," Edward snapped back.

I stopped and held up my hands. "Just forget about it. It doesn't matter," I huffed.

I walked over to a tree and leaned up against it, slowly sliding down the rough trunk and settling on the ground.

"Oh, no! We can't take another break. We'll never make it at this rate," Emmett said.

"Leave her alone, Emmett," Edward snapped, standing up for me.

"I can't. I just…need a short rest. I swear I'd vomit if I had anything in my stomach worth the journey."

Emmett turned away from us and walked off a little distance. Distance. That was what we needed. Three people forced to spend nearly every waking minute together. Scratch that. Nearly every waking and sleeping minute together. I loved Edward, but even his constant presence was becoming somewhat bothersome.

Edward was crouched down, rubbing my back while I sat on the ground, and I had to stop myself from shrugging off his caring touch.

I looked over and saw small, beautiful beads of sweat slid down his neck. They looked delicious. I tried to swallow, but there wasn't anything to swallow, and my throat was sore from the attempt. I focused on Edward's neck and wondered if it would be inappropriate to lick it. Just one taste…

"Bella?"

"Bel-la," Edward said my name, nearly in slow motion, I think. I tried to look up into his eyes, but my neck could no longer support the weight of my head, and it flopped back, hitting the tree hard, and everything went dark.

No nightmares of Carlisle or Emily, I just swam in a pool of never-ending waters. My skin created gills, so I didn't even have to task myself with turning over and taking a nice big drink.

"BELLA!"

I jumped up, and by some miracle, my dream had materialized. I was covered in gorgeous, beautiful, water! I spat and sputtered as it overwhelmed me, and Edward pulled me up to sit against him, while he tipped my thermos into my mouth and allowed me to heal my dry throat.

Edward's beads of sweat no longer looked appetizing, as I stared up at his neck while downing the water.

"Ease up. If you drink too fast, you could throw it up."

I sat all the way up, and Emmett was standing in front of me looking concerned. His flannel shirt was a shade darker from his sweat.

"Where?" I asked, unable to say anything more. My voice sounded as if I had swallowed a bullfrog.

"When you passed out, I hiked the rest of the way to the stream on the mountain and filled up our containers," Emmett explained.

My head throbbed, but the worst of it was that I felt embarrassed to have caused so much drama. I felt like the weak little girl men like Emmett and Edward made me out to be.

Edward and Emmett had had it so much worse than me with their stays in the white wards, and yet, why did my body have to give out on me from dehydration?

My ego was sore, and I couldn't look at the two of them in the eyes for the delay I had caused. I slowly moved to stand, and Edward tried to help me up, but I pushed away his hand, angry at my weakness.

"Think you can make it a few miles? Once we're there, the stream isn't much, but it'll allow for a basic washup and rehydration," Emmett explained.

"Yes, my apologies…and thank you," I mumbled. I grabbed my bag from the ground and pulled it on my back.

"Bella, there's nothing to apologize for," Edward tried to tell me, but it would take a few hours before I could move on from my failings.

I could feel the incline with every step I took. Emmett had said this would be the harder trail to take, and of course, my stubborn butt wanted to believe that I, Isabella Swan, who rescued men from the white ward, could handle something as insignificant as a troubling trail. Bring it on. But Emmett made a remark as we were nearing the stream that, once we reached it, the climb would only get worse from there.

The stream was a pleasant sight, until I saw what was awaiting us. The trail from that point on hugged the steep side of the mountain, and though it supposedly would cut off a few days of walking, it was so narrow, I doubted whether an average-sized person could pass without falling.

It switchbacked up the mountain, though, so the positive news was that, if one of us indeed fell, we hopefully wouldn't fall down the whole entire mountain.

"We're going to camp here for the night. One, it'll be dark soon, and I don't fancy trying to find my footing in the dark. And two, once we begin, we shouldn't stop. We need our wits for this next part. Good news is, once we're over the tough part, going down will be a cinch."

I saw Edward looking at the trail with the same trepidation as my eyes held. He slightly shook his head and focused back on the stream.

While Edward and Emmett were washing as best as they could, I went and found a nice tree to hide behind to relieve myself. Once Emmett and Edward became a part of my wilderness journey, I found it harder to go, always worried one of them would pop up and catch me in midstream, or worse.

I finished up my potty break and headed back to the stream to begin washing my hands and face. I pulled out the small bar of soap and did my best, but I did miss the old days of having a river nearby, especially when I thought of the last time I had been in the river.

I looked up and saw Edward staring at me, and my face flamed. Quickly, I averted my eyes and focused back on my handwashing task.

My face turned sour at the sight of my fingernails. It would take a lot more than this stream to get them clean.

"I know you must be hungry, but I don't think I'm going to have much luck catching anything worth its salt to eat tonight. However, if we manage to make it over the mountain tomorrow, I just might have a surprise waiting for us," Emmett said.

"Surprise?" I asked. Somehow, the word surprise didn't fill me with warm fuzzies. In this game, a surprise could mean death.

"Don't get your hopes up. I won't know until tomorrow."

I sighed and sat down on a tree stump to put my soap back into my bag.

"If surprise means…sending me into some town you used to frequent to get real food, I think I'll pass," I replied, thinking of the last time.

Edward narrowed his eyes, and it reminded me of how little he still knew of my journey. He pulled out his blanket, rolling it into a ball, and laid his head down on it.

Emmett began teasing me with possibilities of this surprise, but I tuned him out and watched as Edward's eyes closed and his soft snores began.

"Man, that is one lovesick boy," Emmett teased.

"I'm not sure why," I whispered.

"Bella!" Emmett's voice nearly commanded me to look at him. "I know what love looks like. He looks at you and worries about you the way I look at Rosalie. When you blacked out, I thought he might do the same. I don't know what happened in the past. I heard rumors. I mean, your Blessing Celebration will go down in history. I may not know everything, but I know love when I see it."

I bit my lip, wondering if I could ever trust Edward, when he said he loved me. Would I ever believe he meant it?

"You have a lot to be scared of. Getting caught by a Resistance soldier. Being hurt or dying from exposure from these harsh conditions your body isn't…used to. The possibility of never seeing your son. But Edward's vow of loving you? That isn't one of them."

I looked at Edward, and even though the past few weeks had not been kind, he still looked exceptionally beautiful.

"What do you know, Emmett?" I shook my head, frustrated at his words of wisdom. "You're a good-looking guy, who…surprise, surprise…married a good-looking girl. Hell, a beautiful girl. Your union would never be questioned. Even if the Resistance wins and there are no more contract marriages for gain, people still wouldn't believe someone as good looking as Edward would want me."

"And there's your problem, Bella. You're so hung up on the physical. You give more weight to focusing on vain ideology than worthiness. Hell, is your main reason for loving Edward his appearance?" he held up his hands, "Because if it is, then never mind, perhaps you don't deserve him."

I didn't respond. I told myself that Emmett was wrong. I didn't just value Edward for his beauty. My sad little response would probably have been that I'd loved him my whole life.

But why did I love him?

Well, when we had been kids, he had been the only person I'd truly trusted. When he'd looked at me, I'd never seen the pity or frustration in his eyes I would see from others. When Edward would look at me, his eyes had always been kind and caring.

Then, we grew up, and he came home, and even after everything we had gone through, the look in his eyes didn't change…much. Yes, I did see pity sometimes, but it wasn't because of my weight or unpleasant physical nature. Now, I could see he was worried for me, for what this war had done to change me.

However, when I looked at Edward, exactly what did I see? I did see his outward beauty. I couldn't deny that. But was it the only reason I loved him?

I thought about the white ward and how we had almost died. If I had been even ten minutes later, he would have been murdered.

My thoughts consumed me well into the night. Emmett had long passed over into the dream world, and Edward seemed to do the same.

I felt a tear run down my cheek, thinking about losing Edward. I might still lose him. It could happen so fast. The next Resistance soldier we could meet might not be as fair and kind as the last one. Tomorrow, Edward could fall off the mountain and hit his head. There was just too much that could happen between now and Mexico.

My silly thoughts caused my one tear to turn into dozens. Thankfully, the boys were asleep, so I didn't have any reason to be ashamed.

"Bella?"

Crap!

Now, I'd done it.

I quickly wiped my face with my dirty sleeves and sniffled, trying to rid my face of any evidence.

"What's the matter? Did you have another nightmare?" Edward was up and scooting to my side in seconds.

I shook my head and swallowed, so my voice didn't give anything away. "I'm fine," I replied.

"I know you're not. You may be able to lie to me now, but I know you're not fine."

I gasped softly. "You know about the lying thing?"

He sighed and looked towards the starry sky. "I used to understand you so well. You say things now, things to placate me…and it causes me to question it. More and more, I find I can't decipher if you're being honest. You have no idea how it frustrates me. I wonder if this war has changed you so dramatically that I'll never know if you're being honest again. Part of me is scared that…the war has altered me so much that I just can't read you like before."

I fell into his arms and hugged him. "I don't want to lie, Edward. Sometimes, I just…worry what the truth will do to you. You've been through so much. I don't want to burden you with my problems."

"Bella, that's what I'm here for. I know our fake relationship didn't work out before, but I know now it was because you and I…we were never meant to be fake. I love you. When this is over...when we finally make it to a safe place and have our son in our arms, I want to marry you. No contract. No clauses on divorce and money."

He lifted my chin with his finger, so he could look me in the eye. "All I want, is to say my vows to you before God and promise that I'll never stop loving you, and I'll always be faithful to you."

I began to cry once again. My mouth ran away with itself and ruined his perfect moment. "I don't want you to die!" I sobbed.

I felt Edward stiffen, and I mentally slapped myself for my stupidity.

"Thank you?" he said slowly.

I pulled back, knowing I needed to give him a proper explanation. "It's just…I love you. I don't know why I love you. I know it's not just because you're good-looking…or…whatever. I just love you. When I think about you, there's this indescribable feeling, and then I think about how you could've died…how you might still die, and it kills me, because how am I going to move on if you die before me? I'd rather go first, so I won't have to go through that pain. It'd be better for you to deal with it than me. I say that I'm strong. I want to believe I'm stronger than you or the rest of society thinks, but when it comes down to it, I'm not. I'm still weak. I can't even handle you dying. That's how weak I am."

Edward's face was completely perplexed by my odd declaration. I thought over what I had just said, and I cringed. Dear God, the last marble…it was finally gone.

I shook my head and hid my face in my hands. "I'm…hungry. I don't know what I'm saying," I mumbled, unable to look at him.

Edward pulled my hands from my face. "You just said you love me, and that's all I care about," he replied with his silly, crooked smile.

He pulled me in and continued to hug me, and I felt my body relax. At least he didn't think I was crazy.

"And…you're not going first. I won't allow it," he added.

If we were the old Edward and Bella, I'd imagine we could turn the very idea over who would die first into a massive argument. But I was growing, so I knew it was better for both of us if I'd just nod my head and not contest his sentiment.

It was probably not the best time to have a heart to heart so late at night, because the next morning, when Emmett growled at us to get up, I wondered if I would make it off that mountain alive.

I spent five minutes splashing my face with water to be sure I was alert for what was to come; my stomach was still in knots from being underfed. At this point, whatever Emmett's surprise was, I would gladly walk into a whole town of Resistance soldiers, if it meant I could get a decent bite to eat.

Emmett walked over and took my bag. He didn't want me worrying about it, when we were concentrating on the trail.

We filled our bottles one last time and fastened them to our pants with a tattered piece of fabric.

Edward gave me a squeeze of the hand, before Emmett climbed up the first long step and then turned around to help me.

Once I was up, I noticed how there was barely a foot of room on each side of my feet. I slowly turned and saw Edward's hand grasping the rocky mountainside to pull himself up.

"Everyone, be vocal if you feel even a hint of lightheadedness. There are not many places for us to sit, but the trail will get wider the higher we go," Emmett explained.

We began inching our way along. I felt an enormous amount of relief the moment we completed the first switchback. I told myself not to get cocky. I looked down, my eyes widening, and we weren't even that high yet. It did help subdue the cockiness, however.

We trudged along for the better part of an hour, not one word to be heard, but I could hear the breaths coming from my fellow travelers.

"Break," Edward called out.

Emmett stopped, and I turned and flattened myself against the mountain, my back mildly uncomfortable from the jagged rocks it was leaned against.

I reached down and untied the thermos and handed it back to Edward, so he could take a sip. I saw Emmett taking a moment to do the same.

I wanted to take a sip, too, but I had no idea what the future looked like for water, so I refrained, feeling that, for now, I was okay.

I looked out over the valley, over the tops of the trees, and it was a lovely sight to behold. I got a wave of dizziness, when I looked down and saw how high we were. I slowly moved to look up to try and gauge how much longer it would take, but it was hard to decipher anything.

As Emmett said, the higher we went, the more room we had on the trail. I would say that, when we reached a point wide enough for two people to climb side by side, Edward could have passed me and would not need me to hold onto him in case he fell. Not that we would ever try such a thing.

The higher we went, I felt a sense of accomplishment come over me. How far had this Isabella Swan come? I smiled, thinking of how I had once been the kind of girl who would never think to climb a mountain. I had been the overweight tragedy who wore oversized shirts and would get winded from running to the tree line from my old house. That had been a simpler time. What I wouldn't do to be that girl again. But I had to say, I was pretty darn proud of the Isabella Swan I was at this moment.

My foot hit a loose patch of dirt and slid, catching on a root, and suddenly, I was falling right into the back of Emmett. I heard Edward call out my name, as I went crashing to the ground, taking Emmett with me.

Emmett was able to hold on tight to the mountainside, but the momentum flung me off to the side, and my heart didn't even have time to drop into my stomach, as I fell off the narrow ledge.

My body hit the mountainside with force and began rolling down, smacking into the ground repeatedly. I think my head might have hit a rock, because I felt overwhelmingly dizzy. It took everything I had in me to stop my body from rolling off the ledge where I had landed, one switchback down.

I groaned and tried to sit up, but everything hurt too much, so I flopped back down and looked up, my head hazy, as I took in the sight of Edward and Emmett above me, crouched down and screaming out to me. At least I thought they were screaming. My hearing was momentarily gone and was replaced with a high-pitched ringing.

My eyes closed, but I didn't pass out or fall asleep. Everything hurt so much that I couldn't bear the bright sun shining overhead, which was adding to my pain.

I couldn't find it in me to get up. My head slowly turned to the left, and I took in that beautiful view. I think an inappropriate smile might have even graced my face, as I thought back to our discussion over who got to die first.

Looked like I won!

It took a few minutes, but Emmett and Edward reached me and began to assess the damages. I could barely make out what they were saying.

"What hurts, Bella?"

"Can you move this?" Emmett asked, tugging on my leg.

I groaned, but no words came out, at least I didn't believe anything intelligible made its way out of my mouth.

"Grab your blanket," Emmett ordered.

I saw Emmett and Edward moving around, but I couldn't figure out what they were doing.

"Even if this works, it could be dangerous. What if she falls again?"

"Edward, we can't stay here, it's unsafe. We're almost at the top, and as I said, once we make it over, it'll be easy. We're talking two miles, before we make it to a place we can stop."

Emmett put the blankets next to me and rolled me onto them. I uncontrollably whimpered, as I felt all the trauma my body had experienced. I saw Emmett go to stand by my feet, and Edward was near my head. I could tell they had put one blanket on top of another, probably to make the fabric strong enough to hold me.

I watched the sky bounce, as they began to move me up the mountain. I heard their grunts and knew how hard this must have made their trip.

"Please," I tried to beg, "Just…leave me."

"Shut it, Bella," Emmett snapped.

"Please…"

"Bella! You heard Emmett. We're not leaving you," Edward grunted.

When they reached the top of the trail, they put me down and rested for a while. Edward came over and helped me drink a little water. I could tell the sun was heading west, so we probably only had a few more precious hours of daylight.

My hand managed to make it to my face, and I felt some dried blood on my cheek mixed with dirt.

"So, what's the plan?" Edward asked.

"When we get near the base, I'm hoping we'll have another sanctuary," Emmett replied. "As I said, I don't want to get everyone's hopes up."

"What do you mean? Another cabin?"

I heard as Emmett took a long swig, and when he put his water bottle down, I could tell it was empty by the crunch it made.

"Not exactly."

I was up in the makeshift stretcher once more, and I didn't hear as many grunts coming from the men who were carrying me, the downward climb being far easier.

Every time one of them had to shift their hands, I briefly felt a falling sensation that made my stomach turn.

They took another break, putting me down on the ground, and for the first time, I managed to sit up, my wrist aching when I did so.

"Take it easy, Bella," Edward cautioned.

"I'm feeling better," I somewhat lied.

This side of the mountain didn't look nearly as troublesome as the one we had climbed. For one, there were more trees, and the path wasn't as narrow. I imagined a car could easily make the journey.

"Let me try and stand," I said.

"No. We don't need you falling again. Your legs are pretty banged up. Just…relax and enjoy the ride," Emmett replied.

Edward placed a hand on my face, so he could get a better look at my bruises. I tried to duck away, but he was adamant.

Emmett stood and told me to lay back. I gave him a challenging stare, but he was immune. I sighed.

I bounced along, looking at the treetops overhead, feeling bored.

"What the hell is that?" Edward asked, nearly dropping me.

"That…is our new sanctuary. It was my dad's house," Emmett responded.

"Are you out of your mind? We can't go there. It could be crawling with Resistance soldiers," Edward snapped.

Emmett slowly placed me on the ground, and I saw in the distance a beautiful mansion built completely with wooden beams. The damn thing, as big as it was, virtually blended into the mountainside it was built onto.

"If it were crawling with Resistance soldiers, we'd see them. I didn't think they'd come this far. This house isn't exactly right off the highway. It's a trek for any vehicle," Emmett explained.

"Wouldn't this be where they grabbed him?" I finally asked, afraid to do so, since I felt like a jerk for bringing up Emmett's father.

"No. We were captured together, when we were dining at the governor's house with the Webbers. Look, let me go ahead and check it out. But I'm telling you, it's fine, and it'll be safe. I doubt any Resistance soldier would want to bother coming all the way out here."

Emmett marched off down the long path to check on the house. Edward sat nearby, and I could tell how nervous he was. We were concealed reasonably well by the tall trees, but I was sure he was worried what would happen if this went wrong, and he would have to figure out a way to carry me.

It took nearly half an hour before we saw Emmett walking back toward us. I saw Edward's relief, when he let go of the breath he had been holding.

"You ready to eat a proper meal? Ready to take a proper shower? Ready to sleep in a proper bed?" Emmett cheered.

I tried to stand, and thankfully, they didn't protest. Edward jumped up, and Emmett came around and helped me on the other side. I wrapped my arms around their necks and could feel the toll my fall had taken on my left leg.

Using the boys as crutches, we slowly made our way towards the wooden house on the mountainside. The closer we got, the more I could appreciate it. Emmett had said their family was in lumber, and they did not disappoint with the beauty and justice they had done this gorgeous house.

I saw a massive tree with its long, thick branches, weaving itself around the top of the mansion. One long branch even went through the top, and I felt excited to see the interior and how they managed to incorporate a living tree into their house.

When we arrived, Emmett let go of me and slammed his full weight into the door. Another two bumps of his hip and it burst open.

I felt giddy at the thought of all of Emmett's promises. Food. Running water. A bed!

Emmett flipped a few switches, and the house illuminated, the light shining brightly through the cut-glass windows.

Edward smiled, and we eagerly entered.

"Completely self-sufficient and eco-friendly. Runs on solar. It's a perfect house."

It looked like we had finally caught a break.

The days we would spend in the massive treehouse gave us back a small piece of our old lives. Like the way the pudding had desensitized the workers in the white ward, though, this house would nearly make me forget what our main mission was.

It would take ten or so loyal Resistance soldiers to remind us we could never stop moving.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing. A big thank you to Fran and Dollybigmomma for their time. They work hard to get this to me so I can get it to you so thank you gals!**

**As always teaser tomorrow on Facebook.**

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

**A Sweet Summer**

I was on sensory overload. The first thing I noticed was the smell. I had always taken for granted the aroma you would find, when you walked into an expensive home. Normally, they would never be a blip on my radar, but now, I could smell the luxurious leather couches and the freshly cleaned floors. It reminded me of Edward's grandfather's house. Well, there was an abundance of wood smell, too, since the whole house was covered from floor to ceiling in rich polished beams.

"Welcome home," Emmett joked.

My eyes couldn't stop gazing around at all the luxuries I had missed terribly in the past however many weeks. Couches. My body hummed at the idea of sitting on something so plush. A proper dining room table, which meant there would be a proper kitchen.

I wanted to cry, but it seemed inappropriate to ruin my view with cloudy tears.

"Kitchen!" Edward said eagerly.

Emmett shrugged his shoulders. "Well, let's see what's in the pantry. It's been months, so I doubt anything in the refrigerator is any good, but maybe we can find some proper meat in the freezer."

"Oh, my God! Cooked chicken," I nearly squealed.

Edward put his arm around my waist, I threw mine around his neck, and he helped me walk, as we followed Emmett down the long hallway to find the kitchen.

"Your father didn't have any lessers working for him?" I asked skeptically.

"Of course, he did. Why do you ask?"

"Well…what happened to them? I mean…isn't it kind of weird that they'd just leave, when your father didn't return?"

Emmett paused and turned back to us with a concerned expression. He looked down at the floor, but he shrugged and replied, "Well, if there was no one here…maybe they knew they wouldn't receive payment, so they moved on."

Edward and I shared a look, and Emmett seemed a little uneasy with his answer, but he turned around and continued towards the kitchen.

The kitchen made me gasp. Set in a French revival, it was amazing how impressed I was with everything I hadn't had access to in the past few weeks. I absently turned on the gas stove, just to see it light up, and stupidly, it caused me to laugh.

"You act as if you're an alien visiting from another planet," Emmett joked.

I shrugged and hobbled over towards a barstool. "I feel like an alien."

Edward opened the refrigerator and cringed, shutting it immediately. The smell wafted towards me, and I cringed, too.

"Why don't we agree to keep that shut," I suggested.

Edward pulled open the freezer door and grabbed a few white packages. He read off the contents, as our mouths began to water at the thought of a decent cut of well-cooked meat.

Emmett entered the pantry and came back with his arms filled with cans.

"Bella, you go through and pull out the good stuff, and Edward and I will cook the meat."

He plopped them on the white granite countertop, and I began to go through the cans. There were some items I didn't particularly care for, but after having no access to decently prepared food, I would never look at canned, refried beans with malice again.

Turning, I saw the counter was loaded with various white packages. Edward and Emmett would call out different cuts of meat, and we would then agree on whether or not to cook it. We quickly realized we were okaying too many things, since we didn't have a refrigerator anyone was willing to brave to save the leftovers. We might have been acting a tad gluttonous, but we deserved it. No one knew when our next decent meal would be.

I'd swear I must have gained ten pounds that night. I kept eating, even though I was full. I never wanted the sensation to leave my mouth, the way the hot steak or the fried bacon flavors danced upon my tongue, my taste buds rejoiced!

After dinner, Edward and Emmett helped me up the stairs to our rooms. Edward had the good sense to bring a plastic bag and a tray of ice to put on my bum leg. We had agreed to stay at the house just long enough for me to heal; hopefully, two days max.

Emmett stopped outside a door and turned to us with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"My room is just across the way, in case you need me…oh, wait…did you want separate rooms? I didn't know…I mean…in case you two wanted some space from one another. I just figured, since you're injured, maybe you'd appreciate the help. Am I wrong? Am I embarrassing you? I know there could be a lot of stress or pressure…"

"Shut it, Emmett," I snapped. I knew what he was trying to do. He wanted to see how red he could make my face. "The only one we need space from is you. So, enjoy your nice hot shower and leave us be."

Emmett's smile grew, and his eyes danced around, before he sealed his mouth shut and gave me a wiggle of his eyebrow, and then he turned, leaving Edward and me in peace.

Edward shifted awkwardly on his feet. "If you want your own space…"

"No. You think I want to be alone in a place I don't know, while we're in the situation we're in, and I'm completely incapacitated? We're…adults. We can share a room."

It then dawned on me that perhaps Edward wanted space.

"I mean…unless you wanted your own room…"

"What? No," he stated adamantly. "God, no. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."

I sighed and turned to open the bedroom door. Edward shifted the tray of ice and baggie in his hand and helped me limp into the room.

I breathed out at the sight of the glorious, king-sized bed with the satin cover. I knew how dirty I was, but I didn't care. I hobbled over to it and fell back, letting out a loud, obnoxious groan, as my back was sent into a euphoric state.

"Oh, God, yes!"

I opened my eyes and saw Edward standing near the bed, looking at me with a quirked brow. "And here I thought only I could make you sound like that," he quipped.

"Lay down and tell me it doesn't feel better than sex," I replied.

Edward seemed to contemplate my offer, but then his eyes scanned towards the bathroom. He walked over and poked his head in.

"I have a better idea. Why don't we take a bath?" he said slowly.

I felt my heart begin to beat faster at the implication. I sat up, and my wrist ached from the pressure I put on it.

"Uh…a bath? Like…both of us in the tub at the same time?"

"We both need to wash up, and it'll help in healing you from your fall. We don't have to do anything, Bella. I just…thought it might be nice."

I looked out the window and saw the sun was down, so I wondered if he would oblige my request.

"Would you mind if we didn't turn on the lights…and perhaps…maybe…you could sit opposite from me?"

I didn't want to be self-conscious, but I didn't know if I would ever feel comfortable with Edward looking at me naked, no matter how many pounds I might have lost from the last few weeks.

Edward's eyes searched mine for a long second, and then he went towards the bathroom. I could hear as he turned the handles, and the water came shooting out of the faucet.

I nervously waited on the bed for what would happen next. I wasn't opposed to sexual relations with Edward. In fact, I secretly hoped for them, but it just occurred to me, in order to achieve sex with Edward, he would need to touch me. Well, touch all my blubbery parts.

When Edward came back from the bathroom, he was stark naked. My eyes looked away immediately, but it was hard not to notice, as he crouched down in front of me and began to remove my shoes and socks.

Once he was done, he stood back up and helped me out of my shirt. My arms came down to try and hide my stomach, ashamed by its appearance.

I felt myself tingling, as Edward reached back to undo the clasp on my dingy bra.

"Edward," I protested softly.

"Trust me, Bella. Please, trust me."

I nodded, and he helped me to stand. I couldn't look at him, and I kept closing my eyes and cringing with every touch he made to remove another article of clothing.

I stepped out of my jeans and underpants, and he took my hand and led me into the bathroom. It was dark inside, but Edward had managed to light some candles that were kept on the ledge of the bay window near the giant porcelain tub. It was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever witnessed.

Edward led me to the tub, and it took everything for me not to groan out with relief, as I settled myself down in the water. The cuts from my fall stung from the hot water, but the slight pain was soon forgotten, as Edward sat behind me and helped me lean back in his arms.

I felt like a silly schoolgirl, as my thoughts played with the notion that Edward Cullen's pee-pee was touching me on my backside.

I was still stiff in his arms and unwilling to relax fully, until he brought out a washcloth and pumped the soap dispenser to his left and slowly began to wash me. First, my neck, and then he began moving down my front.

My head unwillingly fell back against his chest, as he took extra care to clean me. When the washcloth moved down my body, Edward attempted to keep my mind distracted with his soft kisses on my neck.

My legs, which were tightly clenched, opened and allowed him better access, my moans echoing throughout the high ceiling of the bathroom.

The washcloth mysteriously disappeared, and Edward's fingers took over the task. One finger dipped in and disappeared, the water lightly splashing, as he moved it in and out.

"Oh, God, yes," I moaned loudly, repeating my earlier sentiment from the bed.

As wonderful as his finger felt, I wanted more. I wanted his lips on mine, and not on my neck. I wanted him inside me. Not his fingers…but his…you know...

Unable to take it anymore, I turned around, causing the water to splash over the sides of the tub. Brave Isabella Swan had finally stepped up.

I crawled on top of him, but before I could find the proper position, Edward stopped me.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asked with worry in his eyes.

I stopped, bringing myself out of my bravery, and looked down at my pudgy tummy.

"Bella, I want this," he quickly replied, pulling my focus away from my stomach with the gentle touch of his hand. "I just want to make sure _you _do, too. I want nothing more than to make love to you."

My head was filled with conflicting thoughts. I did want it, I just wished…

I swallowed and looked back up into Edward's eyes.

_Trust. You need to trust him, Bella._

"Yes, I want this," I said.

"Not here," he whispered.

"Why not?" I asked breathily.

"Look at the water, Bella. It's…dirty. Let's wash off in the shower, and I promise you, this time…it'll be perfect."

I smiled and nodded.

He helped me out of the bath, and I looked down and cringed, seeing how dirty the water was. He was right. It wouldn't be right to make love in there. We walked to the shower, and once it was flowing with warm water, we began to focus on washing our hair.

Unfortunately, we became a little sidetracked. Well…I guess, fortunately. Edward kept up the anticipation by kissing me up and down my body. It was already hard enough to keep myself balanced with my hurt leg. A couple of times, I nearly fell. Finally, Edward turned the shower off, agreeing we couldn't take the risky chance of me hurting myself any further. He helped me out and dried us off, continuing to kiss and touch my body, as he helped me into the bed. Soon, it was hard to tell where he began and I ended.

Edward Cullen made love to me. This time, I wasn't focused on wondering if he was staring straight ahead and just fulfilling his duties like the first time. I didn't worry if there should be a sheet under me with some biblical scripture. My mother's threats of damnation didn't make me feel worse for the pleasure I was receiving.

We made love, and it was perfect!

I slept better than any night since I could remember. My last thoughts were trying to figure out the last good sleep I'd had. It must have been before I had gotten pregnant…

The sun shone through and landed on the foot of the bed, and I smiled, looking down and seeing Edward's naked body tangled with mine. I felt a sensation, and I wondered if Edward would allow us to do more.

I turned slightly and looked at him, as my hand ran up along the smooth skin of his chest. I felt wet, and once again, I realized I hadn't taken proper measures to try and dump Edward's deposit.

My once happy, sunny, lovey-dovey ideas had a distinct rain cloud coming on fast, as I wondered if I would again get pregnant.

Oh, my God.

I think my panic might have altered my breathing dramatically, because Edward's eyes opened, and he saw the beginning of my panic attack.

"Bella? Honey, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting up.

"Oh, God, what if I get pregnant again?"

I swallowed and cringed at the parched feeling of my throat.

"Then…it'll be okay," he began. "Little Edward will have a sister or brother. We'll be okay, Bella."

It was the first time I had ever heard Edward refer to his son by name, as if he was here with us and just down the hall.

"I just…can't get pregnant right now. I could barely do this postpartum. There's no way I'd make it to Mexico if I'm as big as a house."

Edward ran his hand up and down my arm in an attempt to calm me. "We're not going to be traveling that much longer."

"Edward, we're not even a quarter of the way there. It could take months for us to make it down south. We can't exactly jump on a plane. They ceased all air traffic the moment the Resistance took over. Maybe a car would be faster, but you have to know they're going to be highly suspicious of any moving vehicle. A train is possible, if we can manage to find a schedule…"

"Bella," Edward took my hands and squeezed them tight. "Calm down. We have a few days to figure out our next move. Please just…enjoy this gift." He glanced around at the room, and his eyes then looked to mine and silently begged me to follow suit. I shut out all my silly worries, but I didn't focus on the beautiful room or the comfy bed. I focused on Edward, sitting here, with me, naked.

I leaned in, my mind constantly second-guessing itself on whether I should continue. Edward took my cue and leaned in as well, pulling me on top of him. My legs went out to straddle him, but I didn't want to sit, as I stupidly wondered if I would crush him.

Edward pulled me down, but then, James's insults reminded me why I shouldn't be on top. I didn't break our kiss, but I rolled off and lay back down, as Edward's lips released mine.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head and smile. "I just like it better when you're on top."

"Just tell me," Edward said, finally able to see through my lie.

I thought back to when Edward had given me a lesson on lying. He'd said, "G_ive a lie and then defend it to the death."_

"I mean it, Edward. I love feeling you on top, pushing inside of me. I want that feeling again."

I stared him straight in the eye and opened my legs more, and I could tell he was wondering if I was being honest. He finally pushed inside of me, and I allowed my head to fall back and felt the pleasure.

It was a good thing we had eaten so much the night before, since we didn't make it back downstairs until late the next afternoon. Emmett was enjoying a steamy cup of coffee, when Edward and I entered the kitchen.

"Hey, Bella…you're walking kind of funny." He laughed and then pretended to remember. "Oh…I forgot, you're injured. Of course, you'd be walking funny."

I narrowed my eyes at his disgusting humor, but thankfully, Edward smacked him on the neck for his inappropriateness.

Emmett slid a fresh plate of bacon over in our direction as a peace offering. "So, I was thinking. I looked down in my dad's garage, and there are some pretty good cars down there. I say we blow this shack and head for the border like we have Resistance soldiers on our ass."

I flopped down in the hard chair and cringed, not realizing the toll our extra-curricular adventures had taken on my body.

"No way. We really will have Resistance soldiers on our ass. And even if we had a fast car, I doubt it'd be any match for their firepower or possibly the tanks they could wield at us."

I snatched up a piece of bacon and began to down it in a very unladylike fashion.

"Plan B," Emmett offered. "I used the WIFI to find us the nearest freight train tracks. It's about fifteen miles from here. Problem is, I have no idea when the trains are set to come and go, so we might have to wait it out a few days."

I nodded and looked over to Edward, wondering what he thought.

"I'd say it'd probably be our best bet. When I used the train once before, it seemed easy to find an open car. We just have to make sure it's going south, or we could end up farther than where we began."

"What if we were to try and find a boat? We could head to the sea," Edward offered.

I shook my head. "No, Sam already said they were successful in taking control of the harbors. We can't take the chance of being caught there." I sighed and played absently with my bacon. It felt odd to have a plate in front of me. I'd become so used to keeping the food in my hands, that it hadn't occurred to me to set the bacon down, when I wasn't eating it.

"Then…we find a train. Do you think you'll be healed enough to start out tomorrow?" Emmett asked.

I looked down at my bum leg and tried to move it. It wasn't nearly as bad as yesterday, but I didn't want to leave this place just yet. I was selfish. I liked having access to hot baths and toilets that had doors and would flush my excrement away.

Then, there was Edward; sleeping naked next to him and having lots of sex. We wouldn't have the opportunity, once we were back on our journey. Back to sleeping on the hard dirt outside under the stars, while Emmett's snores played our nighttime symphony.

"I don't know. I might need tomorrow, too. It still hurts quite a bit, and the last thing I want to do is compromise us if we have to run."

Emmett sighed and sat back in his chair. "You're right. We should stay until you're back to…eighty percent. Your eighty percent would kick my hundred percent ass any day," Emmett laughed.

My insides warmed at the compliment, but then I felt guilty, knowing I had lied.

I wanted to feel bad for lying, but as the days passed, I felt I had made the right decision for my mental health. Sure, physically, I was healed. I might have even kept up my limp, so Emmett wouldn't question my need for staying at the house, but I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up the charade much longer. Soon, we would be out on the unmarked path, waiting for danger to come.

We looked through the house to try and find more items that would help us on our journey and replenish some we needed more of, like soap and toothpaste. Toothpaste! What a luxury that was.

We changed out the clothes we had and replaced them with new items. Since Emmett's father was a widow, it meant there was little for me to pick from, but it was still better than the dirty, tattered jeans and flannel I had been wearing. Unfortunately, no new bra or panties for me. I did, however, find a washing facility, so at least I was able to help make them smell fresher, even if the dirt and sweat stains were still prevalent. With everything repacked, we would be leaving in the morning.

It was the third night at the house, and the third night I'd had a delicious dinner to fill my tummy, when everything would go wrong.

My stomach had been most upset as of late, due to the influx of rich, fatty foods. I sat in the toilet room in the bathroom, while my bath ran in the tub. When I was finished going, I planned to call Edward to come join me in the tub.

I finished going and flushed, slipping out and closing that door firmly. I danced over to the bedroom door and was just about to open it, when Edward burst through and nearly hit me in the face with it.

"Bella, get dressed!"

Instantly, my heart fell into my stomach. Edward was frantic. He would only be this way for one reason.

I shook my head, disbelieving what he hadn't said.

"Hurry!" he said with broken eyes. He looked over towards the window.

I slowly walked over to peek outside.

From what I could see, the house looked to be surrounded. Spaced evenly apart, Resistance soldiers were carrying torches in their left hands.

How had they found us? How did they know?

"BELLA! EDWARD! HURRY!"

I wanted to listen to Emmett's screams and do as he ordered, but I just couldn't find it in me to move.

How were we ever going to make it out of this?

* * *

**AN: Sorry I was late on this update. Thank you for reading and reviewing. As always teaser posted tomorrow on Facebook. The next few chapters are going to be intense.**

**THANK YOU TO FRAN AND DOLLYBIGMOMMA FOR THEIR TIME TO EDIT!**

**Story is mine. Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

**Someone I Once Knew**

Edward harshly grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the bathroom, tossing clothes at me, as I struggled to snap myself back into reality.

Kindness went out the window, as he screamed at me to move. I thawed, and my hands trembled to pull the clothes onto my body. I saw Edward running around the room, gathering our last-minute things.

My underpants and new jeans were on, and I was just fastening my bra, when Emmett burst through the door. I squealed, but not because I was partially naked. The sound nearly caused me to wet myself.

"Hurry up!"

"What are we going to do?" I cried.

"I have a plan, but you have to hurry. I can already hear them trying to break our windows and door down."

"Windows?" I repeated.

"They're solid, but they won't hold them for long. Move it!"

My shirt was on, and I quickly fumbled for my socks and shoes. Edward came over and helped me get them on, and when we were done, I jumped off the bench and rushed towards Emmett with no limp. He paused, surprised at my ability, but he shook his head and turned to leave.

We grabbed our backpacks and climbed the staircase to the left of the floor towards the top of the house. Emmett opened a hatch, pushing the door upward, and we climbed this little ladder to get to the top. I saw the huge tree branch that went through the third-floor room, and I wondered if he planned on making us walk across it. I would never make it. I could barely walk well when I was on decently flat ground.

"There's no way!" I snapped, as we went through a tiny door and headed out onto the roof. "I'll never make it across."

Emmett laughed dryly and leaned down to pick up some weird contraption. He walked over to this cable and hooked it on.

"Edward, you first," Emmett directed.

"First for what?" I asked, scared at what he was implying.

Edward stepped up and pulled on the new blue backpack he had found during our house hunting for supplies. He placed his hands on the two metal bars encased in a rubber sheath. I shook my head at what was going to happen next.

"No…" I stuttered.

"Don't let go," Emmett said, slapping him on the back once.

Edward walked towards the edge and jumped straight off the building, and I nearly screamed, as he flew through the trees and out of sight.

"No. No. No. No!"

Emmett began to fasten another metal contraption.

"YES! You have no choice. We don't have time for scared Bella. Man up!" He grabbed my hands and roughly fastened them to the bars.

My face was filled with tears, as my feet inched their way towards the edge.

"Do this for your son, Bella. Don't let go."

He picked me up and pushed me over the edge, and my weight instantly stressed my arms, as I struggled to hold on. My eyes were shut tight, as I felt the wind causing my hair to whip me in the face. I think I might have even screamed.

I believed I heard gunshots, but I was so focused on being terrified, I hardly paid the piercing sound any mind. When I finally opened my eyes, I only did so, because I felt my hands sweating, as they began to fail me. I looked down, and it was a huge mistake, but it caused me to hold on tighter, my hands cramping from the experience.

I'd swear I was up in those trees for an hour, but I knew that was my stupid head playing games with me. My left eye took a daring peek, and I saw Edward up ahead, with his hands in the air, waiting to catch me.

My metal bar slammed against the end, and the force caused me to let go of the bar and fall back towards the ground, where Edward caught me.

He set me down and pulled me out of the way, as we saw Emmett with a broad smile heading our way. Seriously, if it were any bigger, I would have to check his teeth for insects.

Emmett dropped down and then quickly pulled out his shiny new knife and cut the cable. In the distance, we could hear screams, as I imagined some of the soldiers who were after us had tried to follow and were now falling.

"Come on, we have to hurry. I know a place we can hideout, but we're only a half-mile from the house, so it won't take long before they're onto this place." Emmett pushed past me, and Edward and I raced to keep up with his fast pace.

I pulled on my knapsack and walked in silence, as I tried to make out the ground, so I didn't trip and hurt myself again. It was super dark, which could put us at an advantage, but that would remain to be seen.

Edward, sensing my worry, reached out and took my hand to help me along. Now, there was only the twigs snapping under our feet and our labored breaths to fill the air.

We reached a dark, narrow cave, and I was filled with fear that a bear could be waiting inside.

"What if there's some wild animal in there?" I asked.

"I'd rather take my chances with a wild animal than the pack of soldiers we just left behind," Emmett growled, before he sighed and looked back at me. "Relax. I spent half of my childhood in this cave. There's never been a dangerous animal to be found…a skunk maybe, but nothing that could kill one of us."

He entered first, and Edward let go of my hand, so I could follow next, allowing him to bring up the rear.

Emmett pulled out his lighter and lit one of the candlesticks he had procured. Another great mansion find. It glowed brightly, and a trail came into view. I felt better knowing I could see the deadly animal, before it had a chance to attack me, if one should cross our path.

The dark brown stone walls seemed to be leaking in some places, but I didn't ask Emmett why, as I didn't want to upset him more than he already was. I could tell he was angry, so I chose to keep my mouth shut.

Up ahead, I heard a loud roaring sound.

"There's a waterfall at the end of this trail, but we should probably stop here, so we don't get wet," Emmett advised.

"We're underneath a waterfall?" I asked.

"No, we're behind a waterfall. So, drink up, and before we leave tomorrow, we can refill."

Edward slid down on the ground, joining his backpack he had dropped. I took my knapsack off and sat diagonally from him. The passage was very narrow, so it would be hard to sleep next to Edward tonight.

"At least they had the decency to wait until after dinner," Emmett quipped. He sat down and pulled out the short candleholder and set the lighted candle down in it to rest.

I sighed. "I'll miss that house."

Emmett looked over to me, and his eyes looked like they wanted to kill me for my remark.

"Yeah…I'll miss that house, too," he snapped.

"Okay, what's your problem? I'm sorry this happened, but it wasn't my idea to go there in the first place, and I'm not the one who called the Resistance and told them where we were, so why are you so mad at me?"

Edward sat up and said my name, but I wouldn't back down.

"Bella, your leg is fine! In fact, I think it was fine yesterday. We could've left YESTERDAY!" he yelled. "Now, my father's house will probably be burned to the ground, just like all the other houses the diamonds kept. That was the last thing I had of my old man, and now it's gone, because you didn't want to go when we had the chance. You're damn right I'm mad at you!"

I looked away from him, knowing he was right.

"Okay, guys, calm down," Edward attempted to keep the peace.

My stubborn nature wanted to lay down and go to sleep, hoping tomorrow would come, and maybe Emmett would get over his anger. But I knew he deserved an apology.

"I'm sorry. You're completely right. I didn't want to leave. Leaving meant we'd be back here again. Here, on the dirty ground, eating whatever you manage to catch and wondering when our number is up. I'm sorry you lost your dad's house."

Emmett didn't reply. He shook his head and then balled up his backpack and laid down, using it as a pillow. I looked over to Edward, and he gave me a halfhearted smile.

"You should sleep, Bella."

"Aren't you?" I croaked.

He shook his head. "Not yet. I want to stay up for a little while and be sure they don't find us."

I didn't deserve to rest, but I didn't want to stay up, knowing Edward might want to talk about what had happened. I pulled my bag open and took the gun out, placing it on the ground, and then I proceeded to lay on my makeshift pillow. It was warm enough, so I needn't cover my body with the blanket.

Selfishly, my thoughts ran back to the hot bath I had left behind. My back already ached, feeling the hard ground underneath me, begging me to head back to the soft, plushy bed.

I didn't hear Emmett's snores, so I knew he was still awake, too. It took me over an hour to finally pass out, and I knew when I did, Emmett's snores would still be unheard.

I awoke to find the candle was out, but there was a small light up ahead where the roaring waterfall was. I looked around and saw Edward and Emmett were still sleeping.

My body popped and cracked, as I moved to stand up, no doubt hating me for sleeping on the ground once again. I stepped over Emmett carefully and walked towards the waterfall. My mouth opened in awe, as I stared up at its magnificence. I put my hand out and played with the spray.

I thought about everything that had happened, and it caused me to worry about the whereabouts of the soldiers. Were they nearby, or had they given up and gone back to whatever hole they had climbed out of? How had they found us? How did they know? These questions still plagued me.

"Hey," I heard Emmett say from behind me. His feet softly shuffled towards me, and awkwardly, I turned around and looked back at him.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he began. I shook my head and held up my hand. I didn't need any apology from him. "No, I'm just as much to blame as you are."

"No, you were right. We could've left sooner. I just…kept thinking everything was perfect in that house. I had Edward, and I fell into this trap…"

"Bella," Emmett interrupted, "I took us there. This is on me."

"We could've left yesterday morning…"

"NO!" he snapped. He realized the mistake in his tone and instantly backed off. His hands rubbed his temples, while he found his next words.

"You asked me about the lessers who worked for my father. I should've looked more carefully. I put us in danger by going there."

I wanted to negate his claims, but I didn't want him getting upset again.

"When we were on the roof last night, just before I went to jump…I saw him. One of the lessers who worked for my father. I never checked the servant's quarters. I should've done that. If I had, I might've known, and we could've left then. This isn't on you. It's all on me. I never should've yelled at you and blamed you, because it's just a stupid house. You saved my life, and I'm pretty sure my old man would've knocked me upside the head for speaking to you as I did, after everything you've done. So, I'm sorry, Bella."

I slapped him on the back and awkwardly asked him to drop it, since we both were in the wrong.

Edward was still asleep, when we arrived back.

"When do you think it'll be safe to head off?" I asked Emmett. This was his domain. I was sure he could get us to the train tracks with a blindfold across his eyes.

"I was thinking we should wait until nightfall. They'll think we want to travel in the daytime, so leaving in the dark would throw them off and be a lot safer. But still, it'll be hard, since we only have the moon to light our way."

So, there we stayed for the rest of the day. Our bellies were empty, except with water from the waterfall. I must have taken everything out of my pack three times, just to pack it all back up. Constantly rearranging things to keep my mind busy, so I wouldn't allow the nerves to swallow me up.

As the sun began to set, I could feel my body filled with tension. I wasn't very good at hiking, even when I could see in front of me. Now, my feet were going to be treading across the littered forest floor in the dark.

Every crack of a twig would send me into a panic, as I feared that, at any moment, a Resistance soldier or a whole clan of them would locate us.

We agreed to not speak unless need be. The moon only could help so much. My hands were tense, ready to catch me if I tripped.

I knew Emmett was right. We needed to do this in the dark, getting as far away from his father's house as we could, and the sooner the better.

I kept praying a train would be on the tracks, when we finally reached the stop. It was only fifteen miles. I wanted to laugh, because if I had been told me I needed to walk fifteen miles a year ago, I would have said you were crazy. Now, fifteen miles sounded like nothing.

We walked all night, going slower than we would have if we'd had the sun. My feet only tripped up a few times, but not enough to bring me down.

Emmett walked with a gun in his hand the whole way, ready to shoot the second anything compromising came across our path. He had taken the gun from his father's house, with lots of ammo. It made me feel better knowing I wasn't the only one with firepower. Edward had one, too, even though he wasn't keen on holding on to it.

You don't even want to know the debate I'd had to break up, when we had entered the room where Emmett's father kept his weapons. Emmett's family was really big on hunting. Hence, the cabin in bear country. However, Edward was anti-gun. You could see where we could have an issue or two.

The only reason Edward had even taken the gun was because Emmett had convinced him it could mean the difference between life or death. Between _my_ life or death, as he had pointed out. So, somewhat reluctantly, Edward had taken a gun.

Emmett wanted to take a rifle, but he knew it wouldn't be practical, carrying such a large weapon, while we tried to remain lowkey. What if we happened upon a town? It would be pretty fishy to walk in with a large rifle in your hands.

As the sun began to rise, Emmett said he would try his best to find something for us to eat. My water bottle was nearly empty, but according to my phone's GPS, we were only a few miles out from the train stop.

We needed rest. Sleep. We had been at it all night, and our bodies were drained. That and the fact we hadn't eaten anything made our exhaustion worse.

Edward told me to sleep first. He would trade off with Emmett and wake me when food was ready. We agreed to only a few short hours of sleep or rest, and then we would get right back to it until nightfall, hopefully not needing to keep up our travels solely to nighttime.

But Edward didn't wake me. My stomach pains did.

I pushed up from the ground and looked over to see Emmett and Edward fast asleep. The sun was overhead, which told me I had only slept for about three to four hours.

I didn't see any evidence of a fire, which meant Emmett hadn't caught anything worth eating. I struggled to get up, shaking the very last drops in my bottle, before I downed them. I headed off a few feet away from "camp" to go and relieve myself.

I was squatting on the ground, trying to keep the high grass from tickling my bottom, when I spotted a brown rabbit standing still in front of me about five feet away.

As I finished, my hand slowly reached out to pick up a nearby rock. It was a nice-sized, rounded one, and I knew I would only have one shot. I stood, my body in slow motion, as I reared back, my hand clutching tightly around my makeshift weapon, and I had to fight my natural inclination to shut my eyes for what I was about to attempt.

I managed to hurl the rock with surprising precision, hitting the rabbit straight on, but the damn thing didn't die. It was injured and attempting to move, but it was too disoriented to do so. I ran up on it and grabbed the rock I had used and began to pound its head.

When it was dead, I fell back to the ground, in shock at what I had done. I began to cry, as I saw its bloody, mangled carcass. I tried to tell myself we were in desperate need of food, justifying killing the poor, innocent rabbit, but the guilt wouldn't relent.

Once I was finally able to calm down, I grabbed the rabbit by the hind legs and carried it back towards where Emmett and Edward lay sleeping. I dropped the thing down onto the ground and kicked Emmett's foot.

"Hey! Emmett, wake up."

He groaned and turned over to rub his face into his makeshift pillow.

"Look, if you want to eat, you'd best get up. I killed it, but I ain't cooking it."

Edward began to stir, and Emmett finally turned over and looked up at me.

"Killed what?" he asked.

I looked down at the ground, and Emmett's eyes followed mine.

"Jesus, Bella. Did you kill it or massacre it?"

"Kill. Massacre. They're the same damn thing. Can you cook it or not?"

I was not in the mood. I huffed and stomped over toward the rock formation and sat down on a boulder cringing as I looked down at my hands covered in blood.

Emmett scratched his head and then picked the rabbit up and assessed it.

"How?" Edward asked.

I shook my head, not happy to do a play by play.

We ate the rabbit, even though it didn't go far between the three of us, but at least it was something. After our small lunch, we packed up our bags and once again headed towards the train stop.

We knew we were close, even before we could see it. We heard a train whistle, and all three of us looked at one another and immediately accelerated our pace.

We jogged cautiously but quickly through the woods. The only sounds to be heard were our feet hitting the ground, and our bags striking against our backs, as their contents jiggled inside.

I could see a train up ahead, and I felt overcome with joy that we had made it, knowing this could be what we needed to get down south more quickly.

Emmett's feet were the first to halt, and his hand reached out to stop me. The train began to move, and we knew there was no way we would be able to make it in time.

Edward stopped beside me, and all three of us hid behind the trees, hoping not to be seen. I did feel a little relief, when I noticed this train was heading north, so it wouldn't have been the train for us after all.

As my breaths began to calm from the jog, I leaned against the tree, waiting to hear what our plan was. The train passed, and Emmett pointed, indicating we should try to head south, so we could get away from where the train stop edifice was and hopefully have a better chance at remaining concealed.

Once we were a reasonable distance away, we headed towards the tracks, going up a steep hill. A few feet away from where the tracks ran along at the top, Emmett stopped us, and without a word, he pulled me back down with him. Edward followed us.

Emmett stopped, turning to us. "This isn't good," he began to say in a hushed voice. "There's something wrong. I..."

"What did you see?" Edward asked.

Emmett sighed and replied, "I think it's a labor camp. I know this area well, but I've never seen anything like that before. There were…fences with barbed wire. I could see people. From what little glimpse I managed to catch, I could see…guards. Resistance soldiers. This is where one of Newton's warehouses was…so, I guess it makes sense."

"What makes sense?" I asked, my curiosity piqued, when I heard Newton's name.

"It makes sense, because the Newtons were into weapons manufacturing. The Resistance would want to take them over, so they could control weapons distribution to their soldiers. You can't win a war without firepower."

My mind briefly thought about Jessica. If their factory was here, did this mean she was close by? Would she have been sent to a labor camp? Benjamin had said all the diamond women had been sent to labor camps, because Sam couldn't spare the soldiers it took to guard them. Could she be here? It would make sense. This would be the nearest labor camp to her and Michael's home.

"Maybe we should head down the tracks, until we come across another stop?" Edward suggested.

"Are you out of your mind? That could take days. Train stops aren't like bus stops. They're few and far between. Look, the train cars have about thirty cargo containers on them. We should stay back from the camp and try and hitch a ride on one of the end cars," I said.

Emmett looked back towards the direction of the labor camp.

"Where are we going to stay until the next train comes? We have to stay near the tracks, so we'll know when one is coming, but being so close to the camp can possibly get us caught," Edward argued.

I huffed and turned back to Emmett. "What do you think we should do?" I asked.

I believed I was right, but I hoped Emmett would be on my side. Emmett seemed to think it over and finally replied, "It's already nearing dark, and we're all exhausted. I say…we should wait here tonight, and then in the morning, we head down the tracks, if a train hasn't come by then."

I sighed and relented, hoping I could maybe get through to them in the morning. We headed off a few yards away to find a flatter location. While the sun was still available, Emmett went to try and find us something to eat.

My mind was still on Jessica. I wanted to pull out my phone and see if I could find out just how close the Newton house was from here. I knew I should just throw any thoughts of her away, but she was my sister. She didn't care for me. In fact, she'd said she hated me. I wanted to hate her for everything she had tried to do to me, but in the end, I just couldn't. We were still family.

I kept staring in the direction of the labor camp, wondering how hard it would be to go and take a peek. It was completely idiotic for me to think of doing so, but it drove me wild, wondering how close my sister could be to me at that exact moment.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing," I replied.

"That was a lie. Wasn't it?"

I looked over at him and sighed. "Yeah…you don't want to know what I was thinking about."

Edward scooted closer. "Yes, I do. No matter what, Bella, I always want to know."

I looked towards the labor camp, and then I took a breath, before looking down at the ground, ready to speak.

"I was thinking about what Benjamin said. How the diamond women were no longer being guarded at their homes, and how they were sent to the labor camps…"

Edward nodded stiffly. "Jessica," he said, finishing my thoughts.

"I don't know why I should care. I mean…she was a horrible person. She even said she hated me, but…I'm here, and she could literally be just right over there," I said, pointing in that direction. "How am I supposed to just move on and…forget about her? What kind of person would it make me to not try…?"

Edward seemed anxious. I could tell he was stressed, given the inflection in his voice. "Bella, you have a big heart, it's one of the things I love about you. But…you can't rescue her. You can't save everyone…trying to do so will get you killed. Even if they don't execute you, they could put you in there with her, and then it'd only be a matter of time. I know you want to save her, but…please, for once, can you think about your son?"

I felt like he had slapped me across the face.

"For once, I need to think about my son? Like I don't think about him at all? Like I don't think about him every damn day?" I began saying through my teeth. "FOR ONCE?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant that, you should be with our son. You should've stayed with Edward."

"Oh, my god! This again?" I spat. "I'm sorry I bruised your ego by saving your life. In your eyes, no matter what I do, it'll always be in the back of your mind that I'm this horrible mother who abandoned her child to go off on a fool's mission. Won't it?"

Anger flooded Edward's face. It was the first time since the cabin I saw him change into the very person he said he would forget.

"I never said that. Don't put words in my mouth. I just want you to see reason, Bella. You can't save everyone. You can't end this war. You're just one woman. This world is a fucked-up place, and you can't fix it!"

Emmett came running back over with something swinging in his hands.

"What the hell is the matter with you two? We're a shit stone's throw away from ground zero, and you think now is the time to have one of your classic arguments?" he said in a hushed but dangerous voice. "Shut the fuck up! Both of you!"

I turned away from Edward and crossed my arms over my chest. Edward stood up from the ground and said he needed a minute. He disappeared, and Emmett looked to me to explain, but I wasn't about to fall into that trap again.

"I have to go to the bathroom," I huffed.

I got up and stomped off in the opposite direction Edward had gone in. I guessed it was my good fortune that Edward had headed away from the labor camp. I went behind a massive tree and looked back in the direction of where I had left Emmett.

I knew it was stupid. I wanted to blame Edward for my next move, but if I was being honest, I needed only to look in the mirror to find who to blame. I guessed it was a good thing I was stuck in the woods, miles away from any mirrors.

I moved stealthily towards the labor camp. My heart was beating faster and faster, as I got closer to approaching it. I saw the fences up ahead, and I could even make out a few people walking around. My eyes scanned the perimeter, and I saw the barbed wire that lined the top, but there wasn't a guard in sight.

I inched my way closer, until I was only a few feet away, hidden by the trees.

I made a hissing sound with my mouth to try and contact one of the people behind the fence. I kept making the noise, until I caught a man's attention. He slowly walked in my direction, so I whispered out a hello, so he wouldn't think it was just an animal.

I poked my head out, and his eyes widened. "I'm sorry. I just…do you know if there's a Jessica in there? Jessica Swan…I mean…Newton."

The man looked around, wondering if he should trust that he wouldn't get in trouble.

"No Jessica Swan or Newton…but there is a Charles Swan in here."

* * *

**AN: I already know what you're gonna say, another cliffy? However, I already have the next chapter ready to post so expect an update on Saturday evening. As always thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**THank you to Fran and Dollybigmomma for editing this chapter!**

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

**My New Order of Business**

The world was passing right by, yet my mind couldn't help but replay scenes from my childhood, right up until the last time I had seen my father. I had come here, believing it would be Jessica I would find, and instead, it was my daddy.

I felt the tears begin to fall down my face. I think the man I was talking to must have sensed something was wrong, because he shifted awkwardly on his feet.

"Is there…any chance you could find him? I'm…I'm his daughter."

I struggled to control my words and breathing. My chest shuddered, as I attempted to stop myself from sobbing.

The man looked around and held up a finger. He moved away from the fence and left. I used the time to get control over my emotions. I didn't even have the room in my brain to worry about Resistance soldiers or the danger I was in. I just held on and prayed my father would come and meet me.

The man came back, and there did appear to be someone with him, but it didn't look anything like my dad. My eyes narrowed, as I tried to make out the boney figure coming towards me.

The stranger looked up, and for a split second, I could tell it was, indeed, my father. He was down nearly fifty to sixty pounds, and his feet shuffled forward slowly, as if he was having trouble with the weight of his body. His skin was three shades darker, probably indicating he hadn't taken a decent shower or bath in months.

I gasped and came out from behind the tree, nearly making it to the fence, before he barked at me to stop.

I froze in my spot, and he hobbled more quickly over towards where I was. "You can't touch the fence. It's electrified. Five seconds, and you'll be dead."

"Daddy," I cried, unable to control myself any longer.

"What are you doing here, Bella? How did you find me?"

The man who had helped me slowly backed up and walked away. It took everything for me to not reach out and attempt to place my hand in my father's through the fence.

"I was looking for Edward, but…we were on our way down south…and I thought Jessica might be here. They said they sent the diamond women to labor camps. Have you seen her?"

He looked down and shook his head. "No, I haven't heard anything about her. I…didn't even know if you were still alive. Oh, my god, you shouldn't be here, but…it's so good to see you well."

Now, it was his turn to cry.

"Bella!" I heard hissed behind me, and I looked back for a second to see Edward and Emmett not far away.

My head flipped back around to look at my father. "God, Daddy. What did they do to you?"

Edward was beside me, while I watched as the man who had cared for me most in this world, completely broken and weaker than I had ever witnessed before, tried to speak through his tears.

"What about mom? Is she here, too?" I asked in hope.

His eyes wouldn't look up. "She couldn't handle the harsh conditions…I'm sorry, Bella."

My hand went over my mouth, and I had to grit my teeth to keep my cries from giving me away. Edward rubbed a hand down my back. I looked up and stepped forward one short pace.

"Daddy, I'm going to get you out of here!" I said determinedly.

My father's head snapped up, and finally, I saw life in his eyes. "No, you won't, Bella." He looked towards Edward and pointed a threatening finger at him. "You were an asshole to my daughter. I trusted you to take her and be kind, and you nearly ruined her!" He hobbled forward one…two more steps, never taking his eyes off Edward.

"Dad," I tried to stop him.

"But, now…I need you to step up and be the man I need you to be. You have to do whatever it takes."

My eyes shifted between my father's and Edward's, and it seemed as if they were carrying on a silent conversation. Hearing and seeing enough, I waved my hand dismissively and focused back on my dad, shaking my head, "Look, there has to be a way…"

Edward's hand came under my arm, and with all the strength he had, he began to pull on me forcefully.

"Let go of me!" I spat, attempting to fight him off. Emmett came up and took the other side, and together, even though I was kicking and trying to push them off, they carried me away.

"No! Daddy! No!"

Emmett let go of me and smacked his hand over my mouth, as they struggled to drag me away, back into the dark woods.

The last sight of my father was of him at the fence, falling to his knees, and I knew then that we would never meet again.

It took some distance, before I gave up and stopped fighting the boys. Emmett let go of me slightly to test whether I would try and run, but I didn't run. I fell to the ground and cried. I banged my fists angrily into the dirt and wanted to scream, but even I understood screaming wasn't an option.

Edward was wise enough to give me space. I didn't know how long it took, but as I began to mentally tally up the list of people I had known who had died, something occurred to me. An inappropriate laugh bubbled up, and I couldn't stop myself.

"Bella?" Edward finally said, kneeling beside me.

I pointed my finger at him and laughed. "Your dad is dead." My finger moved on to Emmett. "Your dad is dead, and now…" I giggled, "my dad is dead."

Edward looked up to Emmett and back to me. "Bella, your dad isn't dead. There's...still a chance."

My laughter stopped, and my eyes narrowed. "Don't be naive, Edward. We all know by the time this war is over, we'll be lucky if the whole world isn't covered in ashes. I don't even know why we're trying so hard. We aren't going to make it to Mexico. We aren't going to make it a hundred more miles. I should've left you in the white ward, and then you wouldn't have hope!" I looked down at the ground and whispered, "I wish I'd died in that white ward."

My eyes closed, and my body slumped over, resting my head on the rocky, uncomfortable ground. I was done. I refused to get up. What was the point? I had been dead all along. Back when I had been guarded at Carlisle and Esme's house, I had been dead, I just hadn't known it.

Someone picked me up. I didn't know who, and I didn't care. For the first time, I was glad I was heavy. Weighing down the arms of one of the men who had just stolen me away was justice.

I'd never see him again. My father was dead.

The night was long, and I couldn't begin to tell you when I had been set back down and laid out to rest. Sleeping would help, but I forced myself to stay awake, so the bitterness of my situation could marinate deep into my soul.

My mother's death wasn't surprising, and yet, even after everything she had put me through, I was saddened by the news. My father and I hadn't been extremely close, but I had considered him to be someone I could count on. Someone I had loved and one of the few people in this world who had loved me. They had been my family.

It occurred to me that, if my mother couldn't handle the harsh conditions, it most likely meant my sister wouldn't have been able to handle them, either. I had to assume, at this point, that the Resistance had killed my entire family.

I thought about the man I had once known. Sam Uley. Sam had been kind and good, and now, I blamed him for this. I wanted to believe the lessers deserved better, but so did I!

My blood boiled at my past recollections of Sam, and I wished I could go back and stop him, before he ever had the opportunity to ruin so many lives. He was ruining more lives than he was helping.

Before I succumbed to exhaustion, my last thoughts were of my son. I knew what I had said to Edward and Emmett had been harsh, but even now, I just felt it in my bones that I was not meant to see my child again.

I tried to picture his future. Perhaps Esme would keep him out of the country, and he could have opportunities for a happy life. Maybe our war would never reach him, and he wouldn't be subjected to the life I'd had. Maybe he could survive this horrible ordeal. Survive his mother's death and still turn out alright. Maybe Edward would make it to Mexico and raise him right.

Maybe.

The summer's heat woke me up late the next afternoon. Edward and Emmett had made no attempt to rouse me, probably fearing what Bella they would meet next.

I opened my eyes and squinted, as the sun's harsh rays peeked through the trees and cascaded down to greet me.

I made no move to sit up, taking my time to allow the previous evening's events to set in. I would not allow myself to cry even one more tear. When I sat up, I would be civil and not stare at my fellow travelers with animosity.

Now, it was time for a new plan. I wasn't going to Mexico. I would let Edward and Emmett deal with their travels down without me. The very best thing I could do for my son now was to make it to wherever Sam Uley was hiding.

I moved to sit up, and Emmett and Edward immediately shared a look, both probably wondering who should speak first.

I cracked my neck and grabbed my blanket, beginning to roll it up and stuff it into my bag.

"There's something to eat if you'd like," Emmett began. "It was hotter before, but the sun, I'm sure, kept it a little warm."

I looked over at the rock and saw something small laid out upon it. I knew I should eat it, but I just couldn't stomach the idea of filling my tummy.

"I'm not hungry. One of you should take it. I'll eat something next time."

"Bella," Edward said cautiously.

I knew he would push, so I cut him off. "Do you remember, Edward, when you said you'd trust me? That I'd gotten myself this far, braved not one but two white wards, and traveled all this way by myself? You said you'd trust me to make a choice, and you wouldn't fight me on it."

Edward sighed and looked away, probably thinking I had given this little speech simply because I didn't want to eat, but no, I had something bigger in mind.

"I need you to go to Mexico with Emmett. There's something more important than Mexico for me…"

"There's nothing more important than Mexico," Edward snapped. "I understand you're hurting, but you going back to that labor camp and trying to rescue your father will get you killed. He'd kill himself right now, if he thought it'd save you from ruining your future with his grandson. So, cut it out, Bella!"

It had been so long since I had seen this Edward. The anger he felt, I understood it, but I managed to keep mine hidden deep down inside of me.

I remained calm.

"Edward, I'm not going after my father. I know a lost cause when I see it," I said, thinking mainly about me. "Even if I managed to save him, he wouldn't last ten miles knowing what we've been through. I love my son…but if I truly love him, I have to be willing to do whatever I must to make this a better world for him. Taking a journey down to Mexico…I already know I'm not going to make it. I have a feeling. I'm meant to stay here…and fight. But, you two should go."

Emmett scoffed. "If you think we're leaving you here…"

"You have no choice," I interrupted him. "You're not going to carry me over your shoulder all the way to Mexico, and you don't have any way of knocking me out, unless you plan on finding some big stick to knock me upside the head with. This is my decision. I don't have to listen to either of you anymore. There are no contracts you can threaten me with. You have no recourse."

Edward was fuming, and I was sure he would yell or order me until he was blue in the face, but it wasn't going to work this time.

"I do want you to succeed. I know I'm causing you more stress than you care to deal with. I want you to see Rosalie again," I said to Emmett then looked to Edward. "I hope you'll meet our son. I really hope it happens for you two. But this is what I need to do for my son."

"Your son needs his mother. You're just giving up! How…how can you just give up? You're not this person. You're stronger than this, Bella," Edward pleaded.

"I'm not giving up. I've weighed my options and chosen for myself what I believe is the most effective use of my life. I know Sam Uley. He believes me to be this…overweight, kindhearted…weak person. He doesn't know what he's turned me into. I have the opportunity to catch him off guard. My son needs a world where Sam Uley doesn't exist. You can hate me, I wouldn't blame you, but I'm doing this."

I grabbed my knapsack and stood. Edward scrambled off the ground and grabbed my arm. My eyes saw red, as I looked into his, ready to let him have it.

"Fine. But I'm coming with you."

I huffed and shook my head.

"Bella, what are you going to do? Outrun me? You want to go on a suicide mission, then I'm coming with you."

Emmett stood, pulling his bag onto his shoulder. "Me, too. Like I said, either we all go to Mexico, or no one goes to Mexico."

I knew I wouldn't get far if I indeed chose to run. I would have no choice but to put up with their company a little while longer, until I had the opportunity to escape. Perhaps with me out of the picture, they would return to the original plan.

"Fine. Let's move!" I ordered.

Emmett reached down and grabbed the last of the dead animal he had cooked and began to chew on it while we walked. I noticed how close Edward was staying to me, probably worried if he gave me an inch, I would run a mile.

After a few minutes of walking, I realized I didn't even know if I was heading in the right direction. I didn't know where Sam was hiding out these days.

I stopped and dropped my bag to search out the phone. Jasper had advised me not to use it for too long, but this time, I had no choice. I knew it could take a minute, before I could locate that kind of information.

Emmett's hand reached out to stop me. "Don't do it. We aren't far off from the labor camp. It'd be better to wait until we were closer to a house and find internet access."

"Where are we going to find a house near here with internet access?" I questioned.

Emmett looked to Edward, as if to share a silent conversation. "I know of a house not far from here…"

I waited, already sensing the next words to come out of his mouth would be unpleasant.

"Michael Newton's."

The hairs on my arms rose, and a chill ran throughout my body, even though the outside temperature had to be over ninety.

_Jessica's dead. She was taken to a labor camp. She has to be dead._

I felt the need to remind myself of that reality, but a large part of me thought we would head towards Michael Newton's house and find Jessica inside, being watched over by some guards like I had been.

I imagined her complaints about generic soap and the harsh conditions she was being subjected to by not having a lesser to attend to her every whim. She would complain to me how horrible it was, and I would have the nasty chore of telling her of our parents' fates.

Would she care?

Possibly. For two minutes, until she was forced to cook her own meal. I could just picture her making a to-do about how this war was inconvenient to her.

"We don't have to go there, Bella," Edward said, bringing me out of my silly fantasies.

I shook my head. "No, it's our best bet. We should try."

Emmett sighed. "I have an idea, but…I don't know if you're going to like it," Emmett began.

I crossed my arms and gave him an impatient look. "What is it?" I asked petulantly.

Emmett scratched his head. "Well, there's a town close by. We need water. There isn't much in the way of free-flowing waters in these parts. If we're going to make it and not go delirious with dehydration, I think I should head into town and locate us a few bottles. Also, maybe while I'm in town, I can find out some information from the locals. Being this close to a labor camp, they've gotta know something. We'll mark a place to meet after you and Edward get close enough to the house and see if you can piggyback a signal."

I shrugged and kicked at the dirt. "What do you think?" I asked Edward.

He took a deep breath in while he contemplated it. "I don't like separating…but maybe it'd be best."

Emmett took us to the Newton estate. I had only seen it once before, when my sister had first married Michael. It was exactly as I remembered. A long lawn in front, leading up to the stone-cold gray manor that was set on a tiny hill, with slabs of black granite stairs leading up to the front door.

Emmett told us to meet up a half-mile away at this large rock formation. Edward and I took extra care to remember the way back.

"Okay, I'll be where we said and will wait," Emmett said.

"If you don't hear from us in two days' time, you take off. No matter what!" I ordered.

"Bella, no offense, but you're not the boss of me, and if I don't hear from you by nightfall, I'll personally come back here and see to it that all is well. So, stop pretending you have authority over me. We're a team."

I rolled my eyes and turned back to look at the cumbersome estate. I heard Edward and Emmett say a few words to one another, but I was focused on figuring out how Edward and I would make it close enough to gain access to the Newton's internet, provided the Resistance hadn't turned it off, when they had raided the place.

When I turned back around, Emmett was gone.

"So, what do you think?" Edward asked.

I shrugged. "Try to go around, hiding in the trees, and maybe we can make it up close enough. Obviously, we aren't crossing the front lawn. We'll have a better shot on the east side of the house."

I had to hand it to the Newton's for building a house with a massive open lawn to make it easier to catch anyone who was coming up on the house. Even if we made it to the east side of the house, we would eventually have to walk on the driveway or grass to get closer.

Edward and I began our walk in silence. When we made it to the tree line closest to the house, I rummaged through my bag to find the phone. I found it and pressed the on button, but as I did so, another sound was quite audible. The clicking of a gun from behind.

"Turn slowly! Hand's up!"

My hand froze inside my bag, and both Edward and I slowly turned toward the gruff voice.

"You're Edward Cullen. We've been looking for you."

The man was tall and broad. I remembered thinking how Benjamin didn't look anything like a Resistance soldier, but this man was the epitome of what a Resistance soldier looked like.

"I want to speak to Sam Uley. My name is Isabella Swan, and I demand an audience," I stated boldly.

His long rifle was pointed directly at my chest, and he scoffed at my request. "Just move it along," he ordered. "Hands up and move towards the house."

Edward did as he was told, grabbing my arm and pulling me in front of him, so he would take the full brunt, if this man decided to fire his weapon.

I thought we were going to head up the side steps into the house, but the soldier directed us around the back. Up ahead, I saw steps leading down underneath the house to an underground cellar.

My shoes tapped on the steps which lead down. I didn't turn around, but I could hear Edward and this soldier following along after.

"Open the door, and keep those hands up," he directed.

My hand turned the knob, and I entered. It was dark, but I could make out large crates to the left and right of me. The soldier came forward and flipped on the switch, and the whole underground lit up.

My mouth dropped open at the view. Some of the crates were open or had product overflowing out the tops. Guns. Rockets. Explosives. Enough firepower to bring down this entire house and make a decent crater-sized hole.

I felt a tap in the middle of my back. "Keep it moving."

My feet shuffled on the concrete floor through the maze of weapons. At the end, I saw where the man intended to take us. A small, silver-barred enclosure, probably the size of my old bathroom in my parents' house. The downstairs one, not the roomy one upstairs with the bathtub.

"Drop your bags over here and get in there."

I turned around and said, "I demand to speak to Sam Uley!"

"I said, get in there!" the man said forcefully, pointing his gun at me. Edward pulled my bag off and tossed it into the corner with his, before he pushed me into the small cell. The door closed behind us, and I went to put my back against the wall and slid down to sit on the ground.

The Resistance soldier left the same way we had come, turning the lights off, so our only source of light was through the tiny window of the cellar door.

When we were finally alone, in an underground bunker full of explosives, Edward walked over to the bars and hung his arms on them and said, "Well, this is a far better plan than going to Mexico."

I'd once heard my father tell a story about how, in the past, people would hold these sporting events, where two people would enter a ring, and only one would come out alive. It seemed as if Edward wanted to test me with his little comment.

Edward, on our best day, couldn't help fighting over something insignificant. If we were forced to stay in here long, we wouldn't have to worry about the Resistance killing us. We would happily do the work for them.

"Just keep quiet," I hissed.

I had known Edward nearly my entire life, so I didn't need to see his face to know from his body language that he was fighting to keep himself in check. The way his fists would tighten, so his knuckles would shake from the pressure. His body would go rigid, so even if he was standing in poor posture, he still looked straight. His tells were still the same.

We didn't speak to each other for the better part of an hour. Edward didn't even turn around to look at me. Mentally, I kept looking around, trying to find something I could use to get us out of this predicament, but it was hard to see.

Suddenly, light flooded the room, as a door opened over near the top of a wooden staircase, which I assumed led up to the first floor of the manor.

The lights came on. I stood up to stand next to Edward, while we waited for whoever was coming down to meet us. Even though we had spent the hour tense and fuming with one another, Edward still put his hand on my waist and pulled me closer to his body in an attempt to keep me from harm.

Two small black boots began to step their way down the stairs. I could tell the person was dressed in nice clothes. My eyes squinted to make out the figure. It was a woman. A very thin woman, wearing a long-sleeved black cashmere sweater.

"Jessica," I hissed.

Her foot froze in midair, and it took an effort before she set it down on the last step and turned our way. She walked slowly towards us, almost in a dreamlike state. Her face held nothing. No sign of recognition. No hint of malice, as I had seen the very last time I had laid eyes on her.

I thought I would feel relief, knowing my sister was alive, but as I took in her designer outfit, freshly-styled hair, and well-kept manicure, I felt rage. It was a good thing these bars would keep me from fighting her.

I knew my sister was shallow, but to know she was here, so close to our dying father, our dead mother, and not a scratch on her to be found, my mind couldn't fathom it.

"You should probably know our mother is dead," I spat.

Jessica stopped a few feet away from us, and her eyes slowly traveled down to the floor.

"I know," she whispered. "I wanted to get her out. I tried…"

Was she actually upset? It would be the first emotion she had displayed on her robot face.

"Michael said it would raise suspicion," she finished.

My hands grasped the bars, as I pulled myself closer. "You spoke to Michael? When? How? I thought he was taken with the other diamond men to the white wards."

She finally looked up into my eyes. Her whole thin and weak frame shook. A mild gust of wind could have knocked her to the ground.

"Who do you think is leading the Resistance?"

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Next update on...Wednesday.**

**Teaser posted on Facebook on Sunday.**

**Thank you to Dollybigmomma for editing this chapter.**

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

**JESSICA**

I had observed many faces Jessica had given me over the years. Her eyes could turn cold and calculating better than anyone I knew. She got the gleam and glow, when she acted high-handedly. Her face twitched a certain way, when she was about to explode in rage for something that hadn't gone her way. But not until today had I ever seen her look like this.

She stared straight at me, but she could have passed for a statue, given the complacency in her gaze.

"No, Sam Uley is the leader of the Resistance," I said, shaking my head in disbelief, but deep down, I knew my sister was speaking the truth.

It would make sense. My mind began to run through all the ways a partnership between Sam and Michael could ever occur and be mutually beneficial.

Jessica scoffed and halfheartedly rolled her eyes. "Sam is just a puppet. It's been Michael all along. He saw an opportunity and needed a face the lessers would rally behind. A cause to cover up what he was planning."

She walked over and sat down gently on a crate. I should have advised her against it, since lord only knew what was inside. It could have been dangerous.

"He said...he promised me we'd be on top," she continued softly, while picking at her perfect manicure. "I wanted it…I thought I wanted it."

"Be on top?" I questioned.

I could see Edward shift on his feet. I looked over at him, and his face held the same contempt that rivaled my own.

"She means be a first family," Edward responded.

"Be the _only_ worthy family," Jessica corrected. "No more looking up. No more knowing my place. We could rule…"

I scoffed, and my fingers tightened around the steel bars. I had to refrain from reaching out to try and grab her, so I could strangle her myself.

"This whole war was because you wanted to be the _queen?_ So many people are dead because of you. Do you have any idea what your greed has led to? Our mother is dead. Our father will be dead any day. Edward's father is dead…so many people. Their blood is on your hands, Jessica, whether you pulled the trigger or not."

Her eyes snapped up to meet mine, and she had tears running down her cheeks. "You think I don't know that?"

She stood up and began to pace around in front of our cell. She was close, but not close enough for one of us to grab.

"I knew there'd be casualties. I kept telling myself it'd be over soon. That…Michael…he'd be proud of me for playing my role. He could be proud to have me by his side when we took over. But…then…" she sobbed and flopped back down on her crate to curl into a small ball, while her hands helped wipe her tears into her soft, blondish-brown hair.

She managed to pull herself together, before she looked back up at me. "Do you remember when we were children, how we'd watch those silly superhero movies? The ones where the man would wear a mask and save the people from the bad guys?"

I nodded my head, confused as to why she wanted to bring this up now.

She trembled, but she kept her eyes focused on mine. "Bella…I think I married the bad guy."

"You don't say," Edward scoffed.

Jessica pretended not to hear him, but her eyes looked down, as she went back to playing with her fingertips.

"I was there…"

I didn't know what she was talking about now, but whatever she planned on telling me seemed to tax her.

"I watched over them. I helped…feed them. Care for them. I never told you this, but I can't have children. When Michael had them brought here, I had these silly fantasies that, if I did everything he asked of me, maybe he'd let me keep one."

"Children?" My insides turned to ice, as I finally understood what she was telling me.

"He…he just murdered them. All of them. Tiny newborns to adolescents, all dead. I walked into the room after he'd left and saw their innocent, dead little eyes all staring up at me. I knew he was using them…just as a threat he'd said…but then he said he needed to make Sam angry."

My sister was a horrible person. I had always known that, but to know she was involved in this, my blood boiled. I lost my senses. I didn't care if what I was about to say would be the end of me.

"You deserve far worse than those children. How could you not know what your husband was capable of? How could you be so cold to hide away in your mansion, waiting for so many innocent lives to be taken, just so you could _be on top?_ Your cruel words used to make me believe I was a repulsive human being whose looks would never catch a man's eye, but now, I stand here looking at you, knowing what you helped make possible, and I wonder why I ever cared about what you thought."

Edward's hand reached out to grab my wrist. Obviously, he cared more than me about self-preservation.

Jessica looked up at me and walked forward. The look in her eyes caused me to prepare myself to fight. Was she mad? Even I couldn't tell, because this was not at all one of her usual expressions.

She stepped close enough to our cage that, if I had been blessed with the reflexes needed, I could have easily reached out and grabbed her. She pulled a metal card from out of her pants pocket, waving it in front of the sensor, and the door sprung open. I could see Edward looking at me in my peripheral, but I couldn't stop staring at the woman I had once called my sister.

I took a step out, as she backed up a couple of steps. "You're…letting us go?"

She seemed lost in her thoughts, as she looked around at the room. Moving slowly, Edward reached down and grabbed our bags, probably afraid Jessica would change her mind.

"This is nearly all the inventory the Resistance has. Michael stockpiled it for years, hoping no one would be any the wiser to his grandiose plans. He made sure to keep the amount he'd steal from his factories low enough to hold off suspicion from the military families in the south."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a lighter.

"Jessica, what are you doing?" I asked nervously.

"You should go, Bella. Run. Run fast," she replied. Her eyes were slightly watering, as she contemplated her plan.

"No, Jessica. Don't do this." I reached out and grabbed her hand that held the lighter. "You don't have to do this," I said sincerely.

She gave me a small smile and placed her other hand on top of mine. She looked at me adoringly, something I had never received from her in all my years. "Bella, I've done a lot of things…wrong things. Now, it's time for me to do the right thing."

I remembered thinking just a few short hours ago that I was done with useless tears. That the tears I'd shed for my father would be my last. But I had believed then that my sister was gone. I had already mourned her, so why was I struggling to hold it in now?

Edward's hand tugged on mine. "Bella, come on," he said softly.

I turned to follow him out of the cellar, but at the last second, I let go of his hand and flipped back around to give my sister the one and only hug we would ever share.

I pulled back, and she shook her head slightly and whispered, "I'm sorry, Sister."

I nodded and stepped back to take Edward's hand. Quickly, we made our way out of the cellar and up the stairs. When we reached the lawn, we took off at a hard run. I didn't know if any Resistance soldiers would be around to catch us this time, but I had a feeling their plates would be full soon.

In the last few weeks, we'd had to run quite a bit, but I didn't think I had ever run as fast as I did now. With the threat of a major explosion and more Resistance soldiers soon to come, I didn't even pay attention to my lungs, as they begged me to stop.

We had nearly made it back to where Emmett had dropped us off, before we heard the first roaring kaboom from behind us. The ground shook, and it caused me to trip, but Edward's quick reflexes managed to stop me from hitting the ground.

I looked back in awe, seeing the impressive manor swallowed up by the fire in the dead of night. Another explosion and then another went off. Then came the pops and crackling from the bullets that were firing off from the heat and fire. It sounded as if it was hailing, and the ice balls were hitting a plastic trash can.

There was an emptiness in my chest, and I knew my sister was dead. I had to squeeze my eyes tight to keep myself from tearing up. I wanted to remind myself of all the horrible things she had said and done, but the thing was, when people died, if we loved them, we tended to spin our memories into a more positive light.

Jessica and I hadn't had a lot in common growing up. Even when we were small children, we had never spent more time with one another than what was required. So, it seemed my fondest memory of Jessica would be the last moment I had shared with her.

"Ho-ly shit," we heard from behind us.

Edward and I whirled around and were greeted by the sight of Emmett.

"Emmett," I gasped, nearly forgetting about him.

"What the hell did you two do?" he asked, never taking his eyes off the scene.

In his hands, he carried two big bags of water bottles. It seemed at least one of us had been successful in our mission.

The explosion was so impressive, we could have spent a good hour there just watching the aftermath, but we knew the fire would be a great diversion to get as far away as possible.

I could tell Emmett was dying to ask questions about our involvement in the light show back at the Newton's, but thankfully, he had the good sense to keep his mouth shut.

We walked for miles, never stopping even for a water break from the plentiful supply Emmett had managed to locate. I was completely lost in my thoughts, so for all I knew, we could have been heading back north.

"We should make camp. I think we're far enough away now, and we need a break," Edward said, breaking us out of our reign of silence.

I stopped walking and dropped my bag to the ground. "I need to find a tree," I replied.

I really didn't need to go to the bathroom due to the very low water supply my body currently carried, but I knew Edward would do the right thing in explaining to Emmett what had transpired, so I wouldn't have to listen and relive it.

I never even dropped my pants. I just found a tree and slid down its rough bark to land crudely onto the ground.

I used my time to go over everything I had learned from Jessica. I wished Sam was here, so I could smack him in the head for his stupidity. The man he had chosen to follow was the very same man who'd had his wife, Emily, killed. Now, I would love nothing more than to find Sam Uley, just so I could clue him in on this morsel of information. Then, he would know that, in the end, the only person he could blame for Emily's death was himself.

Did I sound bitter?

Where was the kind, tolerant pushover of a fat girl everyone knew me as? I looked down at my rolls, which had diminished greatly, but they were far from gone. By the time I was done with Sam Uley and Michael Newton, being fat would be the least of their worries. I was no longer kind. I was certainly no longer a pushover.

"Bella?"

I closed my eyes and kept from shouting an obscenity at Edward's interruption.

"I'm still here," I sighed.

"Going? I mean…are you still…?"

I actually smirked, thinking how Edward's voice sounded quite possibly horrified that I would still be going to the bathroom.

"No. I…I'm all finished."

He walked around the tree to find me sitting against the trunk.

"I talked to Emmett. I told him…"

I nodded my head. "I figured."

Edward inspected the ground around me, probably wondering if I had indeed relieved myself in the same place I now sat, before he leaned against the tree and plopped down beside me.

"I'm sorry. About Jessica. I'm sorry you had to lose another person," he said quietly.

"Casualties of war…is that not how the saying goes?" I shrugged. "She knew what she signed up for. She wasn't innocent. She…wasn't even a good sister or…person. But I guess, in the end…"

In the end? What? She got what she deserved? She did the right thing? Her sacrifice absolved her from her long list of sins?

I never finished, not knowing what I should say. When it was clear I wasn't planning on giving Edward any more input, he finally decided to use the time to share.

"There's something I need to tell you," he began.

My head fell back and hit the tree. I could already tell from his voice that, whatever he planned on saying, it was not going to be a pleasant conversation.

"When I was in the white ward…after I woke up, it was hard for me to differentiate between what was real and what was a dream. It took a long time, and even now, there are moments I have this flashback, and I can't remember if it was real."

We'd had so much time to talk about what had happened, but in the weeks since I had gotten Edward out of the white ward, I still hadn't given him very many details. However, neither had he.

I could hear him struggling to talk about his experience. Old Bella would have held his hand and given a comforting squeeze, so he could know I was here for him. New Bella was still waiting for him to finish and see what damage he would cause with his statement.

I bit my lip and reminded myself to act like a decent human being, so my hand reached for his and went through the motions, even if I was slightly irritated to do so.

He squeezed my hand back appreciatively and continued.

"You once said they'd punish people by putting pictures on the backs of the chairs. For a long time, I didn't know if what I experienced was real, but now, after hearing Jessica, I know my memory was a fact. There was a picture of Michael Newton on the back of the chair in front of me. He'd placed it there himself. My mind is foggy, but I remember him walking in front of me and leaning down with his smug smile and placing the photograph there himself. I thought it was a dream, but now, I know it wasn't. If I'd just trusted myself…maybe we could've known before today. Maybe it could've made a difference in how we chose to proceed."

I patted his hand gently with the hand he wasn't holding onto and replied, "Even if we had, I don't think it would've changed much. Now that we have this information, I'm going to do everything I can to make it to Sam Uley, so he knows who the man is he's been consorting with."

Edward let go of my hand and used it to rub his eyes in frustration. "Bella, after everything we've gone through…all the people you've lost, I would've thought it'd give you some perspective. Hold on to the ones you love. This plan of going off and finding the leader of the Resistance…you can't just give up on our son."

"I'm not giving up. I just know the world we made for him is screwed up. I'm doing what I think is best to give him a better future. I want to give him a far better world than I ever had. This world…it'll never be good, not until this war is over. I have the opportunity to enlighten a few people, and maybe…put an end to this nonsense."

Edward scoffed. "You think you're just going to walk right up to Sam Uley and explain to him what Jessica told you, and he's going to believe it? Sam isn't the man you once knew. Was the man you once knew the kind of person who'd give orders to shoot my father, a diamond, in the head? To shoot a whole room of men dead, because he was grieving? That Sam is gone. The man you once knew isn't the Sam who's here now."

"And neither am I!" I growled. "You wish I was the Bella you once knew. The Bella who'd cave and cower to your demands. The Bella who'd do as she was told, because society dictated that, as a woman…an uneducated woman, I should know my place, especially when a man was giving an order. I'm not going to just roll over and play my role any longer. I'm stronger and braver than ever before, and Sam is going to rue the day he turned me into this Bella!"

I pushed off the ground and stomped back to Emmett. Emmett's mouth opened, ready to give me an apology, but I didn't wait long enough to hear it. I grabbed my bag and laid down with my back to him and pretended to go to sleep.

Edward wasn't far behind. I heard him arrive back, and I was sure he and Emmett were having their fair share of silent conversations.

Not much was said when I woke up. Emmett handed me some cooked dead animal, which I ate in silence. I noticed Edward glaring in my direction, but I chose to focus on the chewy, cold piece of meat in my fingers.

"Uh…so, Edward said you didn't find out anything yesterday," Emmett began tentatively. "However, the town I went to, I…overhead a few of them talking about the Resistance. Their main center of operation is in the city of Romanik. It's about fifty miles from here."

I scoffed and shook my head, looking up to the sky. "To think, if we'd just gone with you yesterday, my sister would still be alive…"

"True, Bella," Emmett cut me off. "She'd be alive, but you can't diminish what your sister did. She just crippled the Resistance probably far better than anything the military support in the south has had the opportunity to do. Your sister just pushed this war one huge step closer to being over."

I scowled, as I placed my focus back down on the ground. Emmett was right. I was so quick to sacrifice myself, if it meant the possibility of a better future for my son, so I should have been more thankful Jessica had been able to do the hard part.

"You're right," I sighed.

"Romanik is south, so…still the same mission, but it does get us closer to Mexico."

_Good._

It was still part of my plan to find a way to leave these two behind. Romanik was a populated city, so if I managed to ditch them there, it would be hard to find me. I hoped they would then continue on to Mexico, but the look on Edward's face told me I would be lucky to shake him.

"How much money do we have left?" I asked.

Emmett pulled out my small coin bag and tossed it to me. "Not much. The waters were twice what I've normally paid in the past."

I hadn't told the boys, but I had one last item saved deep in my knapsack just in case we needed a decent bribe or trade.

Alice's ring.

I should have given it back to her the night Jasper came in for the rescue, but I had a few other things on my mind that night. I wanted to give it back to her but if I needed it, I would use it, and I know Alice would want me to.

Fifty miles was still quite a journey. Leaving the only train stop we were aware of back at the labor camp where my father was, I knew it would be a long while before we came across another one. But the three of us kept moving on southward, with no clue of how we could hasten the fifty miles, other than on foot.

I used the time to mainly think of the moment I could finally confront Sam Uley. What I would say. What I would do. I had never taken a life, but somehow, when I saw Michael Newton, I was sure it would be easy to pull the trigger. Sam, however…he could prove more difficult.

"Bella, whatever you're planning, I want you to know, I'm not going anywhere," Edward said sternly. "I see the look in your eyes, and I know you think I'm just some complication you can rid yourself of. I once thought I couldn't read you anymore, because I'd changed…been damaged by my time in the white ward. I thought you'd changed so much from everything you went through, and therefore, I wouldn't be able to read you the way I once was able to."

Edward stepped in my path, forcing me to look at him.

"Now, I have a handle on the new you, and you're not going to get rid of me so easily."

My eyes burned with defiance, as we faced off with one another. I kept referring to myself as the old Bella and the new Bella. The old Bella loved the man standing before her. She would have been giddy at the thought that he cared so deeply for her and her wellbeing.

However, this new Bella? Well, I didn't know if she had room in her heart for love. In the end, the best-case scenario would be to shut down the Resistance, make it out of this alive, and get down to Mexico. All three of us. Even if that happened, I wondered if the new Bella would ever find that she had enough of her heart remaining that hadn't been corrupted and left full of bitterness for what she had lost to ever love properly again.

The best-case scenario would be Edward and Emmett making it to Mexico. I'd said I wanted to make the world a better place for my son. Somehow, I just didn't think the person I had become would make his world any better.

The glare I gave Edward slowly turned into something sinister. I felt the sides of my mouth turn up, as I prepared to challenge him.

"You have to sleep sometime."

* * *

**AN: Hope it was worth the wait. Thank you for reading and reviewing. As of now, I will push for the next chapter to be posted on Sunday. **

**Not going to lie, I see this wrapping up much sooner than I originally anticipated...like in the next four chapters.**

**Thank you to DOLLYBIGMOMMA for editing!**

STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

**Enlightenment**

Needless to say, Edward and I were at a complete impasse on how our futures would proceed. We no longer spent our nights next to one another in each other's arms. Although, Edward still stayed very close, always ready to jump up, if he heard one small movement from where I lay.

We covered more ground per day now than we ever had before. I kept up with Emmett, my focus unparallel to any time previous. Even though we were covering a good distance every day, the journey felt longer due to the lack of communication.

Emmett had the good sense to stay out of mine and Edward's dispute this time. I would see Emmett's eyes travel back and forth between us, but he never said a word. Edward and I managed only a few words a day to one another.

And I hated it.

I hated that I had ostracized the one person in my life I truly loved besides my son. My whole reason for being here had been to rescue Edward, because I didn't want to imagine my life without him.

I wanted to apologize for my behavior, but I kept telling myself that it was better this way. I needed Edward to make it to Mexico. I needed him to live.

I pulled out the GPS and looked at the distance we had covered, since we had left behind the labor camp, my father, and my sister. I nearly smashed the phone, as it showed we hadn't even traveled twenty miles.

My anger overtook me, and I stood up, leaving everything I had on the ground. I was about to stomp off to take a moment alone, so I wouldn't lash out at my travel companions, when Edward jumped up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not leaving. Obviously," I snapped, indicating my bag on the ground. "I need a minute."

I walked a few paces away from the fire Emmett had made and took in long, deep breaths to help bring me back to my senses.

I looked up at the sky and hated that a few small tears made their way down my cheek. I couldn't remember a time when I had been more conflicted than now. I wanted to keep the anger running high. Anger could make the best motivation, but it could drain a person dry, too.

Seventeen miles. I had been so proud of my progress. Not needing as many breaks, even with our water supply dwindling, and yet, my body wasn't as weak as before, when I had passed out and fallen down the mountain.

I told myself crying wasn't an option. I didn't have the luxury of replenishing, so I had to turn off the waterworks right now.

I shut my eyes tightly and waited for them to pass, but in doing so, it caused me to focus on things I didn't want to think about.

I gritted my teeth and opened my eyes back up to keep my conscience from going down memory lane. I heard twigs snapping behind me. I wanted to be angry at Edward for violating my space, when I had made it clear I needed a moment alone. His hand gently touched my shoulder, and old Bella managed to push new Bella out of the way.

I turned around, and my body sagged, as I sobbed against his chest. He didn't even know why I was crying, but Edward held me and rubbed my back, as I tried to come up with a reason for the onslaught of tears.

"I'm so tired," I said faintly. "I'm exhausted. I'm…fried. I'm completely diminished. Even if Mexico was still my main goal…we'll never get there. We can't walk to Mexico. How long since I started all of this? Weeks? Months? How many more steps must I take? I want to be this strong person, one who knows nothing can stand in her way, but I don't know if I can do this."

Edward shook his head slightly and cupped my cheeks with his hands.

"We're going to do this, Bella. Whether it takes weeks, months, or even years, we _will_ bring down the Resistance, and both of us will make it to see our son." He let go of me and stepped back. "I know I wasn't supportive before, but I am now. I'm on board, and I'll do everything in my power to see that we help end this war! For our son. For everyone."

The tension I had been holding in my shoulders lessened, and a wave of relief overcame me. He finally got it. I had thought I would need to hold onto my anger and bitterness to keep me on my mission, but what I truly needed was a partner. Someone who believed in my cause.

I hugged him once again and held on tightly, silently thanking him for his understanding.

When Edward and I were done with our moment, we went back to the campfire to find Emmett on the ground, passed out asleep.

Edward shook out his blanket and laid it down. He looked over to me and put out a hand, beckoning me to join him. Slowly, I walked over with my own blanket and took his hand to lay down beside him.

Was I the old Bella? Or the new one?

I lay in Edward's arms, trying to decipher who I was. The old Bella wouldn't make it the thirty-three miles we needed to travel to get to the city where Sam was holding up. The new Bella would never allow herself to lay in Edward's arms, knowing how she would hurt him soon, when she had to leave him behind.

Exhaustion finally decided for me. New Bella. Old Bella. Either way, I needed my sleep, if we were going to put in at least ten miles tomorrow.

Huffing along the next day, it was evident that we were well into the summer months. Our water was gone, and now came the hard part. Keeping up our pace, without the proper necessities.

I could tell Emmett was having a harder time, as we had finally entered the areas he didn't know as well. We kept heading in a southerly direction, but we could have been walking a mile away from a decent water source and not even know it. A few times, I had mentioned turning on the phone, but he had advised against it. The battery was beginning to decrease rapidly, so we needed to keep it only for emergencies.

"Break," Edward called out. He proceeded to lean against a tree, placing his head against the bark. Our faces were red and dripping in sweat. I wanted to stay standing, fearing that, if I sat down, or even leaned against a tree, I wouldn't want to keep moving, once Edward managed to catch his breath.

"We can't keep going like this. We need water. We need to turn on the phone and check for…a town or something," I said.

Emmett wiped his brow and set his bag down on the ground. "All right. Fine. Do it," he sighed.

I took off my pack and felt the relief of air brushing against my soaked shirt on my back. Rummaging through my bag, I found the phone and turned it on. It had less than half a charge left, so I chanted quietly to myself, "Come on…Come on…Come on..."

The map finally loaded, so I could see our location better.

"I was right!" I actually jumped in the air, happy for my discovery. "Half a mile in that direction is a body of water. I have no idea how big, but it has to be decent for it to make it onto the map, right?"

I shut the phone down quickly, and Emmett picked up his pack. "Let's do it!"

Edward pushed himself off the tree, and even he seemed to be revitalized by this new information.

We made it to the stream in no time. It was a stream and not a river, so there would be no fish on the menu tonight or decent baths, but at least there was enough water to replenish our empty bottles and take a small splash bath.

Edward was the first to drop his pack, and Emmett and I stupidly did the same, as we took off to lap up the water we so desperately needed. It wasn't until I was just about to splash water in my face that I saw him.

Instantly, I paused, slowly moving my hands up into the air. Emmett was right next to me, and he saw me staring at the figure across from me on the bank, and he smacked Edward in the arm to let him know we were not alone.

I closed my eyes at our stupidity. Our bags lay too many feet behind us. We were unarmed and unsure whether this person would be a friend or foe.

From the looks of him, I wondered if he even knew a war was happening. My mother used to tell us stories of people she referred to as mountain moles. They were one step below a gutter baby, people who were completely cut off from all of society and lived their lives in isolation. When Jessica and I were naughty, she would threaten to send us to live with the mountain moles.

The man in front of me had a long beard that went all the way down to his stomach. His face was grimy, and I imagined the same could be said for his hair, but it was covered by a hat.

I was sure Emmett and Edward could take him on, as he looked fairly bony. However, the rifle he held in his right hand, the butt of which rested on the ground, told me we would be in serious trouble if he decided to use it.

"Hello…" Emmett began, sounding unsure in his greeting.

My mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out. What could I possibly say? We come in peace? Please, don't shoot us?

"You three look worse than what I had for dinner last night," the man said, surprising us all.

I put down my hands and stood up. "Are you with the Resistance?" I asked, probably not sounding as bold as I would have liked.

"I don't put my nose into those matters. I leave my son to deal with the politics. I've come to find that, no matter the time or place, humanity can't help but push us down the path toward extinction."

I closed my mouth tightly, as it seemed as if my mother had been right in her assessment of mountain moles.

"Would you like to come in and rest your feet? By the looks of you, you must have some story to tell."

I looked to Emmett and found him looking toward Edward. I waited to hear someone decide. On one hand, if this man was honest and good, it might be nice to make use of his accommodations. However, I had learned to be skeptical.

"I don't have much, but you're welcome to use the facilities and take a load off."

I bit my lip.

I used to believe in a world where there were good and honest people. People like Mrs. Cope and Benjamin, but ever since I had learned of my sister and her husband's nasty transgressions, I wondered if we could be so lucky to come across someone who was what he said he was.

"That'd be lovely," I replied, looking towards Emmett to see if he approved my decision. We all got up off our knees, and Emmett grabbed my pack for me, as we jumped on a few rocks to cross the small stream.

"My home is just over that hill. You can call me Boyce."

Nervously, we all gave him our first names. If he was a mountain mole, I doubted he would have much access to the news and any stories they might be spreading about Edward.

I wanted to trust that this man was good. He had the advantage. He could have shot one of us, possibly two of us, when he'd had the chance. Emmett followed after first, and Edward went next. I could see the trepidation in Edward's face, as we all traveled along.

"So, have you've lived here long?" Emmett asked, probably trying to maintain small talk to keep it friendly.

"Nearly all my life. My father moved up here after my mom died, and he taught me how to live off the land. For a brief time, I tried to go and live with the rest of…you people, but I found it was harder than living off the land."

"You said you had a son? How did you manage that…since there doesn't seem to be a lot of company in these parts?" I asked, probably sounding far cruder than I should have.

He didn't seem to be put off by my question. In fact, he threw back his head and barked out a loud laugh.

"Well, I haven't always been alone. My son lived with his mother nearly his whole life. Caught up on being a…lesser or whatever. I told him he should come and stay here, but he'd tell me living here was a waste of a life. If you ask me, I think being a slave is a waste of a life, but what do I know?"

I saw a house in the near distance, as we came up on top of a small hill. Nestled down in between a lot of trees, if you weren't looking for it, you would miss it.

It was smaller than the cabin Emmett's father had owned but equally charming, and off to the east was a small pond that was probably deep enough for us to wash our whole bodies in, so I felt a surge of relief at the sight of it.

I elbowed Edward and pointed toward the pond. "Finally, a proper bath," I said.

Boyce stopped and turned back to us. "What the hell happened to you out there that you get excited just for looking at my pond?"

I shook my head and laughed a little. "You have no idea."

"Well, no need to act like an animal. I do have running water, you know. Put it in myself."

Emmett's eyes danced with hope, and all three of us pushed on towards the cabin more quickly.

Boyce opened the door, and we were greeted by a small kitchen right next to the door and an even smaller living room. There was a long couch, which took up one whole wall, and a lived-in recliner, with a small radio sitting nearby. But I think what impressed me the most was his shelves and shelves of books. The shelves lined every single available space, and there wasn't a space left open to squeeze even one more book.

I walked forward and instantly could tell the books were very old. It was rare to find a book in this day. Most books were digital. What was the point in carrying around a heavy object for reading? It wouldn't be very practical.

"Go ahead…if you can read."

I wasn't offended, because most lesser women weren't educated to read. What would be the point? Some lesser women were lucky if they did, because it entitled them to better positions of work.

I slowly pulled out a book and read the title aloud, "History of the United States." It was a rather large, thick book, with a picture of a flag upon it. I looked up at him and asked, "What's the United States?"

Edward sighed and sat down on a bench in the kitchen. "This…land…a long time ago, it used to be called the United States," he explained.

It made sense that Edward would know. He had been able to further his education, in addition to receiving far better schooling than I had ever had the opportunity to obtain.

Emmett took off for the bathroom we all had been promised. I wanted to clean myself as well, but suddenly, with the weight of this book in my hands, I didn't feel the need to fight Emmett for the right to go first.

I flipped open the book, seeing a map on the first page. It looked a lot different than the maps we had today.

"That's one of the biggest issues with our country. How can we expect to prosper, when the men of today want to stick their heads in the sand, instead of learning from our past mistakes?" I heard Boyce ask.

Edward and Boyce went on to have a discussion, but I tuned them out, as I took in the map. A long time ago, it seemed as if the country had been a lot bigger. The picture showed different boundary lines for states than what we had today. Now, we only had twelve states. This picture showed a great deal more. However, where some "states" resided, according to this map, they would be covered by water now.

"Canada," I said softly, running my fingers over the letters.

"Used to be its own country. After the war, the United States managed to acquire it. I suggest you get to reading. I know your mind would be impressed by the history told in that book," Boyce said.

I flipped through the pages idly. It was a rather large book. It would take me the better part of a month, if I were to read it in full.

"I'd imagine you'd have done very well for yourself, if you'd been around three hundred or so years ago," Boyce said, settling down in his chair across from me.

"Why do you think that?" I asked.

"You don't strike me as the average woman, like those I've met in the past. Before the great war…women could vote. They could hold positions of power in government. They could work jobs…nearly any job they aspired to. They were educated. Women were far more appreciated…"

Edward stood up. "Stop filling her head with this nonsense."

"Nonsense?" Boyce asked, offended.

"Yeah…what do you mean nonsense?" I asked, too…and a little too aggressively.

Edward walked over and grabbed the book I had been holding. "There's a reason this society failed. Their government was corrupt. The people were apathetic, and even if climate change and natural disasters hadn't swallowed up nearly half the country, which also, by the way, they chose to ignore, the war would've ended them, anyway. I knew if you ever found out about this past, you'd only see the good. But there were so many things wrong with it, and giving the lesser people or women more rights and responsibilities isn't going to fix our problems, Bella."

"Spoken like someone who likely lived a mighty comfy life at the top," Boyce said. "Let me ask you, Son, do you honestly feel there's nothing corrupt about how we operate our government today? As long as there are positions of power, there'll always be some who'll seek to be at the top for their own gain."

"And what would you suggest? Let the people govern themselves? No leaders? No government? There'd be complete chaos," Edward defended his stance.

"I feel the answer lies in learning from our past mistakes and growing. Not covering up our history and finding a way to enslave the majority of the people, so only a few can prosper," Boyce said, taking a moment to light up his pipe, so he could settle back into his rocking recliner.

"He's right, you know," I said, looking to Edward. I walked over and took the book back from him. "They may not have gotten it right, or they possibly made too many mistakes, which led to the extinction of their government and country, but I doubt they sent innocent people to white wards and drugged them up, just to spend the rest of their lives looking at photographs for small, petty crimes."

Emmett walked out, using a blanket for a towel, and he saw all three of us staring at one another.

"What'd I miss?"

Edward scowled and pushed past him to take the next turn for the bathroom. I chose to go and sit down on the couch to begin reading the book in my hands, curious about a society where women were meant for more than marrying up and bearing an heir.

Boyce had a funny little smile on his face, as he rocked back and forth in his chair.

"You have no idea how I've missed a good debate," he said with a far-off smile.

"You wouldn't happen to have a place I could dry these off?" Emmett asked, holding up his wet clothes. I wondered if he had showered in them, or if he'd had the good sense to wash them off in the sink, at the very least.

Boyce pointed towards the side door. "Hang them on the line, and please…keep the blanket," he replied, cringing.

I snorted a laugh at Emmett's abashed face. I looked back down to my book for a second, and then I looked back at Boyce, ready to ask another question, but then something caught my eye.

The sight of the photograph that sat in a small, rustic frame on the table near Boyce nearly made my blood freeze. I believed I might have even stopped breathing.

"Who is that?" I asked, slowly pointing to the one and only photograph. Somehow, I already knew what Boyce would say, but I needed to hear confirmation.

Boyce looked over his shoulder, even though I was sure he knew what I was referring to, as it was the only picture in his house.

"That's my son." He shook his head and focused on picking at his pipe. "He ran off and joined up with the Resistance. I tried to tell him that wasn't a good plan, but he was always headstrong."

"What was his name?" I managed, attempting to hold the bile that wanted to come up, which was impressive, since I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a decent meal in my tummy.

"Tyler."

I set the book down and gave a small smile and nod. I stood up and moved slowly towards the bathroom, hoping to not give off the impression of my frazzled state.

Edward was just about to come out, when I arrived at the tiny wooden door. I pushed him back inside the small room, my hand on his bare chest. He looked scared by the force I was using. My eyes caught sight of his dirty clothes in the sink, but unlike Emmett, Edward had managed to find a towel to wrap around his waist.

"Bella?"

I put my hand over his mouth. "Do you remember in the white ward…the man they killed, before they executed the diamonds?"

I put my hand down so he could answer.

"Uh…kind of. It was rather crazy. I think they called him…Tyler."

I turned around and opened the door, pulling Edward out, and pointed towards the photo. We were still in the hallway, so Boyce couldn't see us.

I saw Edward squinting, but when he finally understood, he looked back at me immediately. He gulped and whispered, "What should we do, Bella?"

I sighed and looked towards the picture. "I don't know, but from the way he spoke, I doubt he knows, and even if he finds out, I doubt they'll tell him the truth."

Edward moved forward, so he could continue speaking low enough for me to hear.

"I don't know if we should be the ones to say something. That kind of news is going to hit him hard, and we don't know him well enough to know how he'll react."

I sighed, leaning my head against the wall.

Edward was probably right, and yet, this man deserved to know the truth. What if the Resistance ever got around to telling Tyler's mother or father that he was dead? I wouldn't put it past them to paint this dishonest picture of how he had died. If it were my son, would I want to hear the lie, knowing it could provide me some comfort?

No. I'd want to know the truth.

I showered, thinking of my dilemma, but I was mindful not to take too long, knowing how we were already using Boyce's resources. I didn't want him thinking it was a mistake to offer his generosity.

However, when I stepped out of the shower, my eye caught my reflection in the mirror. I stood there, staring at myself for far too long. I had been so hung up on being new Bella versus old Bella, I hadn't realized it had never been about who I was, battling who I was becoming.

The truth was, I would never be able to rid myself of the old me, just as I would never be able to change the new me. What was more important was the values and insight I had gained throughout my whole life, not just a part of it.

Boyce deserved to know what had happened to his son. He deserved to know the truth, and even the person I had been before all these horrible events had unfolded, I would have still gathered the courage to tell the man who had shown me kindness the truth. He deserved to know the Resistance had murdered his son, because his son had been a good man.

I redressed in my dirty clothes, not feeling comfortable with walking around in a towel for however long it took for my clothes to dry.

Boyce cooked some deer meat for dinner and offered us a place to stay for the night. I sat there, staring at my meal, my stomach grumbling loudly, but I couldn't shake the face of the boy in the photograph staring at me from behind.

Edward elbowed me in the side gently to wake me up from my contemplation. I picked up the deer meat and began to chew on it.

After dinner, Boyce excused himself to the bedroom, and Edward and Emmett were gentlemen and gave me the couch. I lay there, staring up at all those books. I wondered what I could find in them. I imagined they were whispering all their secrets and begging me to open them.

I heard the soft snores coming from Emmett and Edward, but I couldn't begin to sleep, with every thought running rampant through my mind. I tossed and turned the whole night.

Early the next morning, before the sun was even up, I heard the shuffling of feet. I turned over and saw Boyce walking softly towards the kitchen. He pulled out a pot and set it on the stove.

I sat up and moved my blanket aside.

"You're up might early," Boyce whispered, seeing me slowly stand. "You want a cup of coffee?"

I nodded and went to sit down at his small kitchen table.

He went through the motions, and a few minutes later, he produced two small cups.

"There's something I need to tell you." I pursed my lips tightly, as I saw his eyes question me.

"I was there the night the Resistance killed your son."

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing. Unfortunately, we are entering one of two seasons where work is super busy for me which means, I have no idea how long it will be until I update again. I'm hoping by next weekend at the latest. Wish me luck that this week at work won't kill me and I'll be able to get the next chapter done.**

**Thank you to DOLLYBIGMOMMA for editing. She has something she would like to share.**

**Beta's Note**: Dollybigmomma here! I just wanted to say how proud I am to be involved in editing this story. Tammy has been a delight to work with, and I thoroughly enjoy her intelligent and insightful style of writing. I also wanted to leave an important PSA note here regarding what Edward said about what happened to the USA in the "past" in this story. Climate change is real, although there are differing opinions on what it is or what is causing it. Whatever it turns out to be, we all should be thinking about how we're going to help our loved ones survive it.

The natural disasters he mentioned are just as real, and though we can't do much about those, we can try to make sure we're doing as much as we can to help sustain our families. If you're not familiar with some of the things we're looking at and don't want to be caught unaware, I would suggest you research these topics: Magnetic Pole Reversal, Grand Solar Minimum, Yellowstone super volcano, Long Valley Caldera, Cascadian Subduction Zone, Juan de Fuca, New Madrid and San Andreas fault zones, Deagel dot com/country/ (this one gives population and economic predictions for 2025, and it's very telling).

For good insight on other topics regarding the future of the U.S., I'd recommend watching Adapt 2030, Lisa Haven, Jeremiah Babe, Mary Greeley News, and Marfoogle TV on YouTube. These channels report on things happening globally you won't hear from the mainstream media in their attempt to not "alarm" the public. Personally, I would rather be a bit alarmed and have had a chance to prepare what I can, than to be caught off guard and have no plan for how I'm going to take care of myself and my family.

I have a favorite quote that applies here. "Failure to prepare is preparing to fail." If you have people who depend on you, especially children, can you afford not to prepare? If you have any questions on any of this, feel free to PM me on my profile, Dollybigmomma.


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

**A Woman's Place**

Boyce was shocked at my revelation about his son's murder, and I worried he might try to lunge across the table in an attempt to strangle me, so I let go of my coffee cup and sat back in my chair. His eyes stared at me, or perhaps through me, as he weighed in his mind whether he should believe what I'd told him.

"I look around at your home, and you have all these books…books that tell stories…truth…the real history of this land, so I know you're the kind of man who respects the truth." I looked down and said softly, "I know I'd want to know the truth…if it were my son."

After a few more moments of silence, Boyce finally managed to ask, "How?"

I closed my eyes, cringing at the thought of having to replay that memory, which felt as if it had been made a lifetime ago.

"I don't know if any news has reached you from the war. The leader of the Resistance…Sam Uley…"

"I know who Sam Uley is. My son came and told me of a man who was going to change the world," Boyce scoffed. "Any person who took the time to read even one book on my shelves would know it takes a hell of a lot more than one man to change the world. Was he the one who did this? This Sam Uley. Did he kill my boy?"

How could I begin to answer that? Directly? No, Sam had not been directly responsible for his son's death. However, indirectly…

"Sam's wife was murdered, along with a bunch of children. He acted rashly…without thought…and under the manipulation of someone far worse. He gave an order for the diamond men…men who came from privilege he'd captured and held in the white wards as prisoners...he ordered them to be killed in an act of revenge."

I sighed and looked over toward the floor where Edward lay peacefully.

"Edward was a diamond and was held prisoner in a white ward. He's the father of my son…so, I went to break him out. I'd just woken him, using powerful drugs given to me by a doctor, when we heard two people come into the room where they were holding a group of the diamond men. Hidden away in a closet, we could hear everything. Their orders were to murder everyone in the room, and your son was one of the two men who were to follow through on those orders."

Feeling brave, I leaned forward, so I could look him in the eye.

"Tyler questioned those orders and didn't want to do it, so they killed him. He was a good man. You should be proud. He showed tremendous character."

Boyce's eyes slowly moved down towards the table, staring at the grain in the wood. He closed them, as he struggled to keep his anger controlled.

I chewed on my lip and briefly wondered if the Resistance and their lies would have been better delivered than what I had just said. It sounded as if I was reading from a script.

"I know my words don't mean much…and you've shown us a kindness by allowing us to rest here. I'm doing everything I can to make it down to Sam Uley. He needs to know he was manipulated, and that his acts of war are nothing more than crimes. That's what the three of us are trying to accomplish. If we can make it to Romanik, then maybe I can make Sam see reason."

"And what makes you think you can get through to a man like Sam?" Boyce snapped.

He got up from the table and walked over towards his shelf and began pulling down a few of his precious books. He walked back and dropped them down, one by one, in front of me, the weight of each causing my coffee cup to shake.

"Every one of them is filled with stories of men who waged war and believed they were doing the right thing for their people. But in the end…few of them made it through without falling victim to corruption, vanity, and greed. Sam may have begun his mission to help the people, but his undertaking was tainted the minute his wife was killed."

"I knew Sam Uley. I knew his wife. He was a good man, and she…Emily was the kindest soul. I still have faith that, if given the opportunity to meet with him, he'll see the error of his ways. When he learns the man who killed his wife was the same man who's been funding his war, he'll come to his senses. You can call me ignorant…say that what I'm trying to accomplish will…get me killed. These are things I've already heard or thought myself, but I have to try."

Boyce shook his head and lightly scoffed, before sitting back in his chair. My eyes looked over the many volumes that sat in front of me, and my fingers itched to reach out and take a book, to learn the secrets hidden in its pages.

Each one was old. Hundreds of years old, and yet, I knew none of these books kept in this house were available for download**.** Somehow, they wouldn't have made the cut, as I was sure our leaders feared letting the people know the truths the books would tell if given the chance.

"I take back what I said earlier, when I said you would've done well a few hundred years ago, when women had more rights," Boyce said.

I felt my heart clench, hurt by his words.

"How old is your son?" he asked.

I tried to think, but I was still processing the offensive statement he had made. How old was my son? I had no idea. How long had it been? I didn't even know how old my child was.

"A few months," I muttered, embarrassed I couldn't give him an exact calculation.

"A few hundred years ago, you could've made a fine politician. Every occupation would've been available to you...teacher, doctor, attorney. You have a fire inside you, which tells me you could've conquered them all. To be a strong woman at this time, at this point in history, though, is almost impossible. Even if you have the conviction to fight and overcome the tribulations in your path, every person will still tell you that your place is at home with your child. They'll say, what a horrible mother you must be to abandon your baby, and that, as a woman, you shouldn't be here. I say you would've been wasted in the past, and that you're exactly the kind of woman we need right now."

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. How many times had I felt it was wrong for me to continue on my mission, just because I was a woman…a mother? Wars were for men. The brave and the strong. A woman's place was at home, tending to her children. Education was for Edward and Emmett. Hell, even Sam, as a lesser, had more rights to pursue higher learning as a man. After all, what would a woman need with the knowledge of our history? Knowledge wouldn't help me catch a husband, and in the past, I had been taught that was all I was good for.

"I don't know if you'll be successful with your undertaking, but I pray you are…for all our sakes. But please, don't underestimate Sam. He'll not be the same person you once knew. If your heart is set on Romanik, then I might have something that could help. You should probably wake your co-conspirators. I'm sure they'll want to see what I have in store for you."

My gaze traveled over to the two sleeping, snoring lumps on the floor. I felt energized by the hope Boyce's words brought, but I felt as if my stomach hummed with a thousand butterflies.

The sun was up by the time I was able to get Emmett and Edward up and out of the bathroom from their morning routines.

When Edward headed for the bathroom after Emmett was finished, I followed him towards the door and tugged on his sleeve. Edward turned with a big yawn, still wrestling the sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I told him," I blurted out. "Everything. I told him everything."

That woke him up.

"Bella," he whispered.

"I had to. It was the right thing to do. If it were our son, wouldn't you want to know?"

He sighed and looked around.

"Boyce is very levelheaded. He understood, and I think he might even find a way to thank me for my honesty. Hurry. The sooner you get done, the sooner we might be on our way."

I didn't wait for a reply. I went back out to Emmett and Boyce, hoping Edward would hurry. The anticipation was daunting. Boyce said he could help, but how could a mountain mole who kept to himself do that, exactly?

There was a small breakfast on the table, but I couldn't bring myself to eat a bite. Emmett, however, had no problem scarfing down his portion.

When Edward came back, Boyce smacked his hands together and said, "About time. Follow me."

Emmett got up from the table, grabbing another piece of bacon, as he followed Boyce. I looked over to Edward, and he took my hand.

Boyce led us to the back of his house and paused outside a large door. "Some people think I'm crazy for staying out here, keeping a life of solitude…" he stopped, and I saw his face cast downward, as he realized that, without his son's visits, he really would be in solitude. "Most people wouldn't know the first thing about fixing up an antique, but…those people also wouldn't have access to the books that'd teach them such things."

He pulled the door up from the ground, and inside appeared to be some sort of motorbikes.

"The parts we no longer have access to, I've had to restore myself. They run. I had one here as a gift for my son, but…well, they'll have a better use now."

I looked to Emmett to see what he would have to say, since I was not sure if we would know how to operate the two vehicles in front of us.

"I'm not sure I know how to drive this…motor…"

"Motorcycle. They were once called motorcycles. I can teach you…it's not too difficult. I upgraded the tires, so they'll go over the terrain. They're filled with gas, but…even these won't get you all the way to Romanik. They will, however, get you to the train station in Krai. I have a friend there you should speak to. You'll need something to bribe him with…maybe a firearm? Hopefully, one of you has something worthy, but he can get you on a cargo train to Romanik."

Emmett scratched his head and asked, "Why are you doing this? I mean…we're thankful, but you've already given us so much."

"I have my reasons." Boyce's eyes looked toward me. "Now, are you going to pick your jaw up from the ground and hop on or what?"

Since I hadn't slept very much, I let the boys stay out with Boyce to learn how to drive the motor…cycles. I went in and laid down on the couch to get some rest, so I wouldn't be completely useless when we finally left.

A couple of hours later, Emmett and Edward felt competent, and Boyce advised us we should head off, so we could make it to the train stop before nightfall. He wasn't sure on the train schedule, but hopefully, his friend would help us.

Edward and Emmett shook Boyce's hand and thanked him, before they walked out of the tiny cabin and climbed onto the motorcycles.

"So…I guess this is where we leave off," Boyce said.

I nodded my head. "I don't know if we'll ever see one another again. For one…I have no idea where this place is, and two…I don't know what's in store for my future…" my voice trailed off.

Boyce sighed and stepped closer. "You have many great gifts. I've only known you a few hours, and even I know you're brave…intelligent and kind, too, but your greatest gift is honesty. Continue to speak the truth, no matter how many might try and silence you. If you do, and this Sam still doesn't value it, then know you were righteous in your crusade. God favors the righteous."

His hand reached out towards the stack of books on his table, and he pulled one off...the second from the top.

"Take this. It'll suit you far more than it can help me."

I shook my head. "I couldn't. You've already done so much."

"And I thought it wasn't in your nature to offend me," he quickly replied. "Take it."

I took the book from his hands and placed it in my bag. I gave him a small smile and a nod of my head, before going out to the motorcycles.

Edward had his bag across his chest. The motorcycle was obnoxiously loud, but if it got us to where we needed to go, I would be grateful. I awkwardly teetered my way behind Edward and wrapped my arms around his stomach, after I was able to get myself adjusted correctly.

Edward gave one more wave of his hand, and I looked back to see Boyce sigh and nod. The motorcycle lunged forward, and I nearly fell off the back from the surprise of it.

My heart raced, as we bumped over the rocky terrain. A few times, Edward flew over small hills, and the wheels left the ground. We bounced hard, as we came back down, and my arms squeezed Edward tighter, as I burrowed my face into his back, scared I wouldn't make it to the train station alive.

I saw Emmett pass along the side of us and move ahead. I didn't keep my eyes open very long, as I felt my stomach in a whirl from the quick-moving scenery. I was still tired, but I didn't dare allow myself to take a nap, as I knew the consequences could be deadly.

We traveled along for what seemed like an eternity. When Edward slowed the bike to a crawl and turned off the engine, my whole body tingled from the missing vibration I'd endured. I let go of Edward and pulled back to sit properly, my shoulders aching from the rigid position I had kept them in for far too long.

"What do you think?" Emmett asked.

I looked around Edward and saw a train depot in the distance.

"Looks safe. I think we should ditch the bikes and go it on foot," Edward replied.

Emmett jumped down gracefully, while I slowly slid myself off, using Edward as an anchor to keep from falling on my bottom. Edward swung his leg over, and they took the bikes over towards a few bushes and wrestled them inside to help with concealment. It made me wonder who would eventually find the two antiques and what they would make of them when they did.

It was dark, but we used the moon and the lights from the station to help guide us go towards the tracks.

"We still haven't discussed what we should use to barter with," I said, when we were nearing the station.

"Well, Edward didn't want to have a gun, and Boyce said a firearm might be the best thing we have for a bribe," Emmett replied.

I sighed and stopped walking. Edward and Emmett stopped and turned back to look at me.

"I have something…"

I dropped my bag, and my hand dug down to search for the small wrapped bundle.

"I think Alice would rather you be protected and not give up your gun." I opened the small coin purse Carlisle had given me and dropped the ring into my palm.

"Alice gave it to me in hopes of finding someone to mail her letters to Jasper, back when she thought she'd never see him again. I've never needed to use it, until now."

Edward took the ring from my hand and looked at it thoughtfully.

"No, we should give up the firearm. I don't need it. This meant something to Alice," Edward said.

"I think her brother's safety means more," I argued.

Edward scoffed and handed the ring back to me. "Maybe if it was being used to help guarantee my safety, but we aren't going to a safe place, Bella. We're heading into the belly of the beast. You should give that ring back to my sister. It meant a lot when Jasper gave it to her. It must've been very difficult for her to give it up. She was desperate, because she was trying to do whatever she could to get one last message to the man she loved. That ring needs to be returned."

I dropped it into the pouch and stuffed it back into my bag, choosing to ignore the implications in Edward's speech. I could tell by the way he pointed some of his words at me that he was still not happy with my decision to seek out Sam Uley.

There was no train at the station when we arrived. I didn't hear a whistle in the distance, nor did I feel any vibrations on the ground. A part of me wondered if we should wait to approach the man in the station, but I guessed if he wouldn't help us, it would be better to know sooner.

Through the window, I saw the outline of a man inside. Just one man.

"Perhaps I should go, and maybe you can cover me, Edward?" Emmett suggested.

"Maybe I should go, and you should cover _me_, since you're better with a gun," Edward argued.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, pushing past both of them to go into the small station.

"Good evening," I said softly.

I saw the man, who was probably not much older than me, sitting at a small desk. He was startled by my presence. From the looks of it, this station didn't seem to get many visitors.

"May I help you?" he said slowly, probably wondering if I was planning on doing something underhanded.

"I'm friends with Boyce…he said you might be able to help me," I began.

I noticed neither Edward nor Emmett had chosen to come inside.

"Doesn't sound like the Boyce I know. He doesn't keep friends…or company."

I laughed softly. "I assure you, then, that we mean the same person." I sighed. "Look, my friends and I need passage to Romanik, and I have something to trade if you can help us with that."

The man looked out his window, while he scratched at the hair that tickled the back of his neck. His arm dropped down and made a thud on the table, as his eyes scanned the screen.

"What do you have to trade?"

I reached into my bag and slowly pulled out the gun I had been carrying since I had begun this journey.

"This."

His eyes looked down at it, and he nodded.

"I have a freight scheduled to arrive at four o'clock in the morning that's headed down south. Its second stop is Romanik. You might have some issues if they choose to search the cars at your first stop, but it's the best I can do."

I nodded. "Okay. Four o'clock. We'll be here," I agreed.

"Meet me down the tracks on the west side. I'll whistle when I know it's safe," he offered, and I nodded and headed back outside.

"You shouldn't have done that, Bella," Edward met me with an unhappy scowl.

I kept walking away from the station and back out into the wilderness to find a place to stay until it was time.

"Why? Because I'm a woman?" I asked dryly.

"No, because it was unsafe," Edward snapped. "Not everything has to do with you being a girl."

I laughed. "Seriously? Because it sure has felt that way my whole life."

I finally stopped and turned, ready to take on this argument face to face.

"It's to my advantage, too, you know. People are less likely to hurt me or are more trusting of me because I _am_ a woman. You couldn't go into that station, because what if that man recognized you? It's been made clear your escape has been widely publicized. We don't know if your picture was made public as well. We have to assume you're marked and valuable. And you," I turned to Emmett, "you're intimidating. We needed this man to want to help us. I was the clear choice for the mission, and I got the job done, so can we just make camp and stop fighting already? We have quite a few hours of waiting around, before we need to ready ourselves."

Emmett sighed and didn't say a word. Edward stewed and pushed past me to stomp off and find us a place to camp. He didn't talk to me for hours.

Emmett made a fire, and we all sat around it in silence. Not wishing to deal any further with the scowls pointed in my direction, I pulled out the book Boyce had given me and began to look through the pages. It was too dark to read, but with the help of the flickering fire, I was able to observe the photographs. The beginning showed a lot of battle scenes. Men and women dressed in far more conservative clothing than I was used to wearing graced its pages. More illustrations than actual photographs. As the book progressed, so did the quality of the photos. The clothing of the men wasn't too different than our modern-day attire. However, I was surprised at how risqué the women had dressed.

"Sandra…Day O'Connor," I whispered, as my fingers glided over the photo.

My eyes squinted, as I tried to read the small biography listed below the picture. She had been a trailblazer. The first woman to serve on a court. I racked my brain to remember what they mean by a court. My idea of courts was far different than what they'd had a long time ago. From the words written on the page, the court system back then had been far more useful and impressive than what we made it today.

The more I read, the more confused I became. I didn't understand nearly anything, since I was uneducated in how this government worked. Presidents. Senators. Governors. We had governors, one for each state, who would come together to make decisions for all the people. Twelve governors. That was all.

I might not have understood most of what I read, but what I did understand was that all people were included in making decisions. Men. Women. All nationalities. Rich and the not-so-wealthy. My eyes stared at this woman who had been given great power, and I barely noticed a few tears had dropped and marred the pages.

I felt so small. Insignificant. My whole life, I had been made to feel as if the only great thing I possessed was the power to produce an heir and marry up, so my family might have a little more. Most women now were satisfied with that, but as I looked at pages and pages of great historical women, I knew I was not one of them.

I wanted more.

"It's not fair," I whispered, breaking the pact of silence.

"What isn't?" Edward said through gritted teeth.

I turned the book and held it towards him. "Look. This woman held a position of great power. She was thought highly of, looked up to. Revered."

"Here we go again," Edward scoffed, shaking his head.

I bristled at his words. I sat back and pulled the book onto my lap. I wanted to yell. I wanted to spit every hateful thing I could think of, but instead, I closed my eyes and took a small moment.

"You're lucky we had a boy," I began softly. "I remember wishing the baby inside me was a boy, so he might never go through what I've endured. But now…for even a small second, I wish he was a girl, because I would've loved to be there and watch, when you had to explain to our child why her only worth would be found in the man she marries. How can you be a decent man and not want more for your children? If this war never happened, what would our son have to look forward to? Arranged marriages and contracts? A society built on a hierarchy? Entitlement? Good thing he was the son of Edward Cullen, so he may never fear a white ward…"

"What would you have me do, Bella? Become a lesser, so our son can try and crawl his way out of the gutter?"

"NO! That's not what I want. I want you to understand that this society is no more improved than what's in these pages. You think everything was fine just as it was. That men have power, and this system works for the benefit of all, but it's not true. It works for the benefit of only certain people. I don't understand how you can't see it! How are you fine with that? How, if you had the opportunity to speak with Sam Uley and get him to put down his sword, you'd have everything go back to the way it was."

Emmett, as big as he was, managed to shrink away from the fire and become very small. He was not about to get in the middle of one of our infamous debates.

"You meet one crackpot in a cabin, and now you believe you can change our governmental system, and overnight, give power to who? Who, Bella? Everyone? Everyone gets a piece of power to hold on to? It'd never work. You want the governors to be more diverse? Maybe have a woman governor? Or a black governor? You believe a person of color or women don't have the ability to also be corrupt? How would you change it? How could you make it any better?"

I gritted my teeth, not knowing how to answer his question. I shut my eyes and screamed at myself, trying not to show weakness. Those tears be damned if they would flow down my face tonight, giving Edward one more reason why someone like me should bow down to someone like him.

"I don't know. But I have to believe there's a way to make it work. Maybe someone more educated than me could think of a way…perhaps if I'd been given the same opportunities as you, then I could provide you with an adequate answer. Obviously, it wouldn't be easy to change a stubborn man's views…but look around, Edward. Your perfect society you hold onto so dearly, it's crumbling.

"This may be the first Resistance, but if things return to the way they were, it won't be the last, and what would happen next time, when it's our son's problem to face? What excuse will we have, when we had the opportunity now to change things, but we didn't take it, because we feared trying something new? What do you want to put on our son? A legacy he could be proud to be a part of? Working hard to find a peaceful resolution and system, one which helps benefit the most? Or leaving him a world where eighty percent of our country will come to hate him because of his good fortune to be born into a higher family?"

I sighed. "You should take Emmett and continue on to Mexico. That's your fight. My fight is with Sam Uley. You want to support me, but you know deep down you can't. You'll only be a hindrance, but don't worry. If I can be successful in my task, I'll be sure to let them know of their option to return the country back to the state it was in, as requested by an elite diamond."

A whistle was heard in the distance. I turned my head towards the station, even if I could not see it.

"You're not going to lose me, Bella. You can tell me to go to Mexico all you like, but I'm not leaving this country without you."

His words, if written, might have been a lovely declaration; however, I heard the threat in his voice.

"Come on. Stop all this. We have a train to catch," Emmett said, getting up and kicking some sand onto the fire to extinguish the flames.

Edward stood and brought his bag onto his back. His eyes never left me, as if I were going to make a run for the train in an attempt to leave him behind.

I took out the gun and packed up the book, before I adjusted my bag once more, holding the gun in my hand for the trade-off.

Emmett led the way, and I followed behind him. Edward was so close, I wondered if his foot would step on the heels of my boots. We made it towards the back of the train cars and waited in the dark on the west side, as the man had requested us to do. We saw him walking down the tracks, tapping against the closed doors. He got to the second to last car and whistled softly. I walked out first and handed him the gun. With no lights on this part of the track, I knew we wouldn't be seen by the conductor, even if he was looking really hard.

I pulled myself up and into the open car, and Edward joined me and then Emmett.

"Pleasure doing business," the man said, before tapping the side with his hand and walking back the way he had come.

A few weeks ago, I would have been giddy at not having to walk all the miles this train was going to save us. Traveling by rail was the dream. Emmett pulled out his blanket and laid down in the corner. I slid my back down and plopped onto the car floor, pulling my bag towards me. Edward took to sitting near the door. Why? I was not sure.

The first stop came, and we hid behind the containers in the car, just in case someone was to come looking. No one did. On the final leg of our journey, I couldn't take the exhaustion anymore, and I passed out hard. So hard that, when I awoke, I jumped up from my place, noticing the car was no longer moving.

I looked around, and there was no sight of Edward or Emmett. I felt panic in my chest. I grabbed my bag and jumped out of the car without even having thought to check if there was anyone who would see me. I ran off towards the small cement wall in front of me and jumped over it, worried I might have been seen. When no one called out for me, I slowly stood and looked back at the car I had just departed. There was no sign of either Edward or Emmett, and no sign of their belongings, either.

"Bella!" Emmett faintly called, and I turned around quickly to see him rushing towards me.

"Where did you two go? You left me behind…"

"Quiet!" he ordered. "I woke up and saw Edward had already jumped from the train. When it stopped, I ran after him. I didn't know what he was doing."

"Did you find him?" I asked, worried.

Emmett caught his breath and then looked at me with concern.

"Bella…Edward left. He went to find Sam Uley on his own."

I growled and stomped my foot on the ground, irritated at the news.

"What an idiot!" I snapped.

"Yeah…looks like you two were made for each other."

I narrowed my eyes at Emmett and fumed. "We have to find Sam Uley first," I finally replied, when I came down from my initial anger.

"Yeah...that'd probably be wise. In just the small amount of city I was able to walk in before returning to you, I saw these papering every street corner and brick wall."

He handed me a flyer, and my blood chilled at the sight of Edward's picture. At the top, it stated: _Wanted!_ Below, it went on to say: _for the crimes of destruction of property, treason and acts of war, which led to the deaths of five people in the Newton Manor explosion._

I wanted to be angry, but now, I couldn't afford to be. Edward wouldn't make it to Sam Uley. He was officially public enemy number one. Michael had found a way to make Edward responsible for what my sister had done. The minute he stepped foot in public, they wouldn't wait to see what he had to say. What explanation could he give? They would kill him, just as they had killed his father.

One shot, and it would be over.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing. Sorry, it has taken me a long time to get this done. Too much work at work and a lot going on personally. Found out I am pregnant with baby number three and it has been a lot to process. I love writing. It is a great escape from all the craziness in my life but I know that with this new addition, I might be writing less in the future. Anyway, I am working on Chapter twenty now and hope to get it to you in a week. **

**As always thank you to Fran and Dollybigmomma for editing and getting this back so quickly so you wouldn't have to wait any longer.**

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

**ROMANIK**

When I had been younger, everyone had seen me as a good little girl. Well, maybe not little, but there was one thing my parents, my friends, and even Jessica could count on. Bella would always do the right thing.

Edward was the only one who knew the truth.

As a child, I did what I was told; I took the harsh comments from my mother and sister without fighting back. But sometimes, I would get angry. I would lash out. Even if they never knew.

My mother had once owned a locket her father had given her when she was young. It must have taken quite a sum of money he would have had to save up to be able to purchase such an expensive piece.

I took it.

Nine years old, and clearly not using my best judgment, I had stolen the locket right out of my mother's special wooden box. I had known how much it had meant to her. It had probably been the most precious thing she had owned then, so it had been hard for me to continue forth with my plan…

"_What are you doing down here at this time of day?"_

_I sniffled and shook my head without looking at my friend. The locket was clutched tightly in my hand, as I looked out over the pond in the back of the Cullen estate, the chain dangling down from my fist._

"_Go home, Edward. I don't want you involved in this," I said softly, not looking in his direction._

"_You're gonna do something that could get you in deep trouble. Your mother isn't like mine. I can't allow you to do it, no matter the reason. Your mother would hurt you severely. Tell me what's wrong. Perhaps I can find a better solution."_

_My bottom lip trembled. He was right. When my mother learned what I had done, she would probably tan my hide within an inch of my life. I closed my eyes tight, feeling my bravado wearing thin._

_I felt Edward come to stand beside me. His hand wrapped gently around my fist, which held the locket. I let out a sob and released it, and Edward caught it and pulled me into a hug, while I cried on his shoulder._

"_She's so cruel, Edward. Why does she hate me so much? Maybe if I lost the weight…"_

"_NO!" he snapped, sounding angry. "If your mother would only love you because you were thinner, then what kind of mother could she be?"_

_He looked down at the locket in his hand and took a deep breath, before hurling it as hard as he could into the pond._

_I gasped._

"_She doesn't deserve nice things," Edward said. "Come on. Let's get you back to the house."_

_I shook my head. I knew my mother was at his house at this moment. It was one of the reasons I was able to steal the locket in the first place. _

"_It'll be okay, Bella. I promise."_

_He wiped my tears with his fingers and told me to calm my face. _

_We went back to his house. I was afraid to enter, but Edward pulled me along._

_Esme was sitting in the front room, enjoying a cup of tea with Alice, when we entered through the front door._

"_Don't say a word," Edward whispered, leaving me in the shadows. He then headed straight for his mother._

"_Mother, there's something I need to confess."_

_I took a small step forward, realizing what Edward planned to do, but seeing his hand make a movement to stave me off, I remained in the background. _

"_Earlier today, Mrs. Swan upset me. She…was rather hard on me during my lessons, so I wanted to get revenge. I broke into her home and stole something I knew she loved. I threw her necklace into the pond out back."_

"_Edward!" Esme gasped. "You'll tell Mrs. Swan what you've done, and then you'll pay for your crime by not leaving this house for the rest of the summer."_

"_But it's June," Edward protested._

"_And you'll be lucky if your father doesn't add on, when he hears what you've done. Do you have any idea what Mrs. Swan could do to you? You broke into her home and stole from her. You're lucky you're a Cullen, or you might be sent straight away with the authorities."_

_She was right. Edward, even being a young boy, would be gone if his family wasn't as powerful as they were. No telling if anyone would ever see him again._

"_Find Mrs. Swan and tell her of your offensive deed. We'll find an appropriate sum to cover her loss."_

I didn't see Edward once that summer after the incident. He sacrificed himself for me then, so I'd guess I shouldn't be surprised that he had done so now.

"What do you want to do, Bella?"

I was such an idiot. This whole time, I'd thought I would ditch Edward, and instead, he had been planning to ditch me.

But there was a difference between his mission and mine. Sam knew me, and once, not so long ago, he had trusted me. He wouldn't trust Edward's truth, no matter how Edward told his tale. Edward would be lucky to even make it to Sam Uley before someone caught him.

"We need to find where Sam is hiding. We also need to find something to wear…something that'll help us blend in."

"Agreed. We should stick to the outskirts, until we've located proper dress. We should look for a laundering facility. They'd have many uniforms, which could easily help us mix in with the others," Emmett said.

Every uniform, no matter the position, was sent to these large laundry facilities. They usually were put in warehouses on the outskirts of towns. My mother used to say that, as a lesser job, you couldn't find a worse place to work.

I pulled out my phone and brought up a map to search for one.

"It's nearly five miles away. Perhaps we should risk a bus…"

"Five miles? Five miles is a drop after everything we've done. We can walk five miles," Emmett argued.

"We don't have the time. Edward could be found out any minute. He could already be in the clutches of the Resistance. It's a risk, but we have no choice."

I narrowed my eyes, hoping Emmett would know not to fight me on this.

He sighed and pulled his bag onto his shoulder, before turning around without another word and walking off towards the city.

I had to admit, the moment I stepped out of the tree line that had worked at buffering the train from the city, I felt as if every eye was upon me. I looked around nervously, expecting someone to yell out for me or charge me with weapons.

"Would you stop that? You'll bring unwanted attention if you keep your head on a swivel. Act normal," Emmett whispered.

I took in a deep breath and forced my eyes to stare straight in front of me, no matter what offputting noise my ears picked up on.

We reached a bus stop, and Emmett looked at a map to figure out which bus we needed to take. I slid my knapsack off my back and pulled out my coin purse. Not much was in it now besides Alice's engagement ring. We would have enough for a few bus fares, but not nearly enough to make a decent bribe.

"The 'F' bus will take us there, but we have a half-hour before it should arrive. We need to figure out something we can give up to entice a worker into helping us," Emmett said.

I shrugged, looking through my bag of items. Knowing Edward would be upset with me for bartering away Alice's ring, I knew that option was out.

"I think I'm going to have to give up my phone. Most lessers can't afford one, and this is a good one. We should try it," I suggested.

Two lessers were walking towards us, so we immediately stopped talking. I smiled kindly at them and then waited against the post, trying to act as casual as possible. They were dressed plainly, with square, laminated cards attached to the chest of their clothes. It was peculiar, but I wasn't close enough to be able to tell what they said.

My eye caught another flyer taped to the outside of the bus stop, which had Edward's picture on it. It made my entire body tense.

Finally, our bus arrived, but Emmett and I were the only ones to get on. The minute I stepped inside and dropped my coins into the bin, I froze, seeing a Resistance soldier standing at the back of the empty bus.

Stiffly, I walked towards the third row of seats and took one. Emmett sat across from me and gave me a look.

I stared straight ahead, praying my frame wasn't shaking enough to alarm the soldier standing behind us.

However, a distinct sound of boots walking towards me had me on edge.

_One. Two. Three._

I silently counted in my head, praying it would calm me.

"Can I see your passes?"

Passes? What did he mean?

I slowly turned and looked up at the mountain of a man standing to the left of me.

"My pass?" I recited.

"You're required by law to carry them. Produce your pass, or I'll place you under arrest by order of our governor."

I opened my knapsack, wishing I still had the gun I had just turned over to get us train passage. But I didn't have to fret, because suddenly, Emmett was up. He grabbed the man from the back and pointed his gun straight at his head.

The bus driver immediately slowed.

"Keep driving!" Emmett yelled at the driver, "Or the next person to go in front of my gun will be you."

The Resistance soldier struggled in Emmett's arms, but Emmett was strong enough to handle him.

"I knew there was something off about you two. You'll hang for what you've done. Up in St. Dismas Square, they'll put on quite a show to see you damned."

Emmett's eyes looked to mine, before striking the soldier on the back of the head with the butt of his gun. Immediately, he fell to the floor, unconscious.

"Take his uniform," I said.

"What?" Emmett asked, shocked.

"If you're wearing a Resistance uniform, I doubt you'll be stopped. Take his uniform."

Emmett looked towards the driver, whose eyes were partially on the road and partially on us.

Emmett sighed and crouched down to disrobe the man who had nearly ruined us. I walked up toward the driver and sat in the seat nearest to the door.

"I know you must be upset. My apologies for giving you a hard day. You have my word, we'll not harm you. Please, just…get us to the uniform facility."

The man looked over to me and nodded his head. I glanced back and saw Emmett pulling on the black cargo pants.

"What is…St. Dismas square?" I asked.

The driver cricked his neck and cleared his throat. "It's near the Governor's estate. In the center of the city."

"Governor?"

"Sam Uley…he's now the governor of these parts. When they have a true offender of the Resistance, they'll hang them in the square for all to bear witness. The hangings were once few and far between, but lately, it seems they hang a man every day. People are starting to turn…"

"Against the Resistance?" I asked.

The driver nodded, and we both shook in our seats from the trouble the road gave us.

"People are starving. They used to believe things would be better, but nothing has changed. In fact, things are worse. I haven't been paid in weeks. My family is starving, but anyone who doesn't continue to do their job is marked as a traitor."

My mouth dropped open. How could Sam be this man? The kind of person who would threaten his own.

"That's awful," I whispered.

We arrived at the laundry facility, and Emmett, dressed entirely in uniform, advised me to stay on the bus, while he went inside to procure mine.

With the Resistance soldier's gun in my hand, I had half a mind to use it, if the soldier dared to stir. The driver, however, stares straight ahead.

"I'm sorry for everything you're going through. The past few weeks…months, have been awful for all of us. My friend and I are…on a suicide mission. I knew Sam Uley before all this transpired. He was a good man. I just pray I can still find a way to reach the man I once knew."

The driver's fingers tapped on the steering wheel. He sighed and turned slowly in his seat with his hands outstretched, probably worried I might try to shoot him.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I reiterated.

He put his hands down on his lap and looked at me. "Do you know how many public executions I've witnessed? Too many. One would've been enough. My stomach stopped turning, when the number reached double digits, and those are the ones I was present for."

I furrowed my brow, not understanding where he was going.

"A man like Sam Uley, who could allow his fellow man to die…countless men and women. How do you think that's affected him? A man who'd march people up, hang them, and then display their final moments for all to see. He's a monster. You say he was a good man. There's nothing good left in Sam Uley. You and your friend, if you dare tangle with him, you'll be next up on those gallows for me to witness."

The smallest glimmer of hope I'd had slowly faded. I could hear Edward in my head, telling me for the thousandth time, that my plan was the plan of a fool. Which fool I was for having the audacity to believe I could change a man like Sam based on our history.

But what could I do now? I couldn't abandon Edward. I couldn't go to Mexico, knowing Edward would pay the ultimate price, even if that was what he would want.

"I don't have a choice. The man I love…I fear he'll be in the square soon. I have to try."

Emmett rapped on the doors, ending our discussion.

"That was way too easy. I should've found a Resistance soldier a long time ago and knocked him out. This uniform is a free pass to anywhere I want to go," Emmett boasted.

He tossed a simple black dress at me and handed me ugly, nude-colored short heels. I recognized it as a maid's dress.

"I told them I needed a new uniform for a maid who was just hired on at the governor's house."

I stood and prepared to go towards the back of the bus to change.

"Do you think you can get us as close as you can to St. Dismas without putting yourself in harm's way?" I asked.

Without looking back at me, the man nodded and started the engine.

I made quick work of changing. The heels were uncomfortable, since they were a size too small. I pulled my hair up and quickly wrapped it into a bun, before securing the silly white hat to my hair.

I rejoined Emmett at the front, who laughed at the sight of me.

"This is as close as I can get you without alarming anyone."

The driver opened the doors, and Emmett looked at me. "What should we do with him?"

I didn't want to hurt the man. I'd made a promise he would be safe. I wasn't going to go back on my word.

"Toss the soldier in the bushes, but let the driver go." I then turned. "Please…at least give us ten minutes before you alert the Resistance."

The man scoffed. "You think I'm about to alert the Resistance? I'm sure my neck would be next to yours if I did."

Emmett grabbed the soldier, who was dressed only in his underwear, and tossed him behind a few bushes.

"Thank you," I replied. "I wish you well. Good luck."

"Same to you," he said. "Go straight that way, and two blocks up, you'll find the square. If there's no one on the stage…you might be in luck. They usually wait to gather a large audience, before they read the charges. Perhaps you can make it to your friend before it happens."

I nodded and quickly bounded down the steps to join Emmett. We needed to hurry.

I followed the driver's directions and felt relief, when I found the square empty of any crowds. A few people walked to and fro, but the first thing that caught my eye was the massive stage, which was directly in front of the tallest building.

Sticking to the edges of the square, both Emmett and I scanned the area.

I looked at the tall building, which was about five floors high, and I saw a balcony on the third floor.

"That's it," I said to Emmett. "Sam must observe the executions from there, which means…that's where we'll find him. We need to get inside."

We stood under an overhang, trying not to catch anyone's eye. People passed by us, far too interested in their own lives to pay us any attention.

"How are we supposed to do that? Look at their chests? Every one of them has a square card attached to them. Those must be the passes the Resistance soldier was referring to."

I sighed. "You're right. I have no idea. There has to be a way…"

"I think it's time to use that ring of yours," Emmett suggested.

I cringed, but he was right. We needed something to use as a bribe, and we weren't about to let our last gun go.

"Let's find the garage. I imagine it'll be the best way for us to gain entry."

I nodded, and Emmett and I headed for the back of the tall building. While we walked, I found the very last thing on me that might help save Edward's life.

I looked over the beautiful ring and felt a twinge of guilt. I knew Alice would want me to use it, but I still had Edward's declaration rolling around in my head of what this ring meant to his sister.

"Walk in front of me," Emmett said, pulling my arm.

"Why?"

"Because I doubt a Resistance soldier would let anyone walk behind him."

We saw a small, narrow open doorway that led under the building. My eyes had to readjust, as we headed down an incline into the darkness. There were some lights, but they were sparse and low. I saw the outline of a few cars. State cars. Fancy black cars that were used only to transport important people like the governor.

The lack of security would have impressed me, if I hadn't heard what the bus driver had told us of this new world Sam had created. Somehow, I doubted any lesser would have the audacity to try something.

One guard blocked a door, which I assumed was an elevator. Emmett's hold on me tightened.

"Passes!" the man shouted out as we approached.

I pulled out Alice's ring to have it at the ready.

_One. Two. Three._

"This one is starting today. I was told to bring her here, so she may begin her work," Emmett replied.

I felt my body itching to tremble, but the counting in my head helped me to not focus on the danger in front of us.

"She still needs to have her pass."

I pulled out the ring and held it up. "Will you take this…so I may pass?"

The soldier walked forward and pulled the ring out of my hand. My heart raced, as I waited for him to decide.

"You think I'll sell my loyalty for a bauble?"

"No?" Emmett asked. "Fine. We'll do this the hard way."

Emmett suddenly punched the guard in the face, and he went down hard. The action made me gasp, as I wasn't prepared for it.

"Geez, what's with you and hitting everyone today?"

I stepped over the unconscious man and picked up Alice's ring, which had dropped out of his hand when he fell.

"I don't know. I guess I don't care for these guys very much," Emmett replied, pulling the gun and communication device off the guard. "I think I'm going to have to stay here. They'll catch on much quicker, if there isn't anyone to stand post."

Emmett pulled the limp man over to the side and pushed him behind a wall, whacking him once more on the back of the head for good measure to make sure he stayed knocked out. Emmett then handed me his gun and took the safety off. I placed it deep into my pocket, the heavy piece weighing down my dress.

I felt nervous, but this was what I had been working toward. Weeks on end to come to this moment, and it felt right that I should do this last part on my own.

I pushed the button and waited for the elevator doors to open.

"If…if there's even a chance of something happening to me, please, get to safety. Get to Mexico. Find someone who can put you in touch with Jasper Whitlock. He'll know where your wife is."

I handed him Alice's ring. "Please, give this to Alice Cullen. Tell her it was important to her brother that she have it back."

"Bella, I told you, I'm not going to Mexico…"

"No!" I snapped. "You are. Edward and I want you to go. Please. That's where you belong. With the one you love. Edward was my…is…my love. Whatever happens to him…will happen to me. It's what was meant to be."

The elevator pinged, and the doors opened. The car was empty, as I stepped inside. I looked back at Emmett one last time, before the doors slowly closed.

As the car moved smoothly upward, I feared this would be the last time I would see Emmett McCarty. I should have thanked him. I might have rescued him, but I wouldn't have made it this far, if he hadn't been with me.

The doors opened, and I took a deep breath, before stepping out onto the lavish carpet. I looked around at all the niceties I'd once had the privilege to enjoy. I now understood the price paid for this lifestyle.

I didn't see anyone around, and I had no idea just where Sam could be. He might not even be on this level, but I had to begin somewhere, so I walked down a hall, keeping my body close to the wall.

There were many doors. Which one should I take my chances with first? My hand shook, as I placed it on a handle and moved to open the door.

_One. Two. Three._

My heart felt as if it would explode out of my chest, when I came face to face with a linen closet. I clutched my chest at my stupidity and sighed out in relief, closing the door. I moved on to the next door, and I heard someone coming...someone talking.

I pushed open the next door quickly and dashed inside, not even concerned that what was behind it could potentially be the end of me.

I left it open barely a crack, so I could hear who it was and know when the danger had passed.

"The people are gathering. This will go far for your cause. Capturing this man will show the country that no one can take on the Resistance."

I knew that voice. It was Michael Newton.

"Make it fast. Don't allow for any last words. Give your speech and then give the order. You need everyone to know your strength and power," Michael dictated.

"I knew this man. I should, at the very least, let him say his piece…"

"NO! Don't you understand? Edward Cullen is everything that's wrong with this world. You don't know him. You _used_ to know him. He blew up my house, killing my wife and others, just so he could cripple your organization. He doesn't warrant last words," Michael hissed.

I wanted to jump out from behind my door, but I worried my premature move could prove detrimental.

A door opened, and I heard a loud sound erupt. People. The door they had opened must have led to the balcony. The once-empty square must have now been filled, as they awaited another public execution.

Quickly, I pulled open the door and headed out to where I believed Sam and Michael had gone. I didn't think, or wait to the count of three. I needed to do something fast, or Edward's life would be over.

It startled me, when I opened a door that revealed a room that was elegant and pink. The floors were pink, and the walls were a lovely rose color. The fixtures were all gold. I saw the balcony ahead of me, and Sam, dressed in the nicest suit I had ever seen him in, looked regal. But he was alone. No sign of Michael. I knew I should worry where he had gone, but my focus was on the figure in front of me.

"My people. Today, we triumph in bringing this man to justice…."

I pulled the gun out of my dress and aimed it precisely at Sam's head.

"Sam!" I said harshly.

Sam immediately stopped his speech and turned to me.

"Bella?"

His face had changed from the kind one I'd once known. He had definitely aged, but more so, I couldn't get over how tortured his face looked...like a man who had ruled the world since its inception.

I never lowered my gun. I heard the crowd's anxious chatter. From my position, I could not see who was on the stage, but I imagined it must have been Edward.

"I need you to listen to me, Sam."

"We're no longer friends, Isabella Swan. Your threat carries a grave punishment."

"It only takes one move of my finger. I'm sure your men must be on their way. I came here, knowing there's a high probability I'd meet my maker today…however, if I do, you will as well. Are you afraid to die, Sam Uley? Probably not. I imagine someone who's lost everything wouldn't be afraid of death. But…how would you feel dying and never knowing the truth about who killed Emily?"

"I know who killed my Emily!" he spat.

"No, Sam, you don't," I said confidently.

The very men I had said would come burst through the door behind me, and Michael was leading the charge. He seemed stunned to see me. For a short second, he looked as if he had seen a ghost.

"Kill her!" he ordered.

"Wait!" Sam barked. "Lower your weapons."

Slowly, the ten or so soldiers lowered their weapons. In a show of good faith, I, too, lowered my gun, but my finger was still on the trigger.

I looked Michael in the eyes, as he gave me a menacing stare.

"Would you like to know the real truth about how your wife died?" I asked.

"Just say it and be done with it!" Sam snapped.

"I wasn't speaking to you, Sam. I'm asking Michael."

"I know who killed my wife. He's standing out on that stage. You should join him. I didn't know how he managed to escape from the white ward I put him in. I didn't know who the other figure was who ran away from my residence moments before it was blown up. Now, I know. You killed your sister, so you could attempt to take down the Resistance. But you can't stop us."

I laughed. "How is it that nearly every single male diamond is dead, and yet, here you stand, alive and well? Your plan was smart. Horrifying and demented, but I can't help but praise you on your cleverness."

I turned back to Sam. "Edward Cullen and I didn't murder Jessica. She sacrificed herself to take down the Resistance." I looked to Michael. "She couldn't erase the atrocities she'd seen or ever forget the horrors you inflicted, when you murdered that room full of children...when you murdered Emily Uley."

Sam stepped forward, his face full of questions, wondering if what I had said was true.

"Who suggested you retaliate and kill all the diamond men, Sam? What little bird whispered those thoughts into your ear, when you'd just witnessed the death of your wife? Who has everything to gain from you taking out the diamond men?

"Who's pushed this Resistance with financial funding and weaponry from the beginning? Michael Newton doesn't want equality for all the lessers. Michael Newton wants to rule it all. You're merely a pawn, who _he t_urned into a monster and used to gain the trust and cooperation of the lessers. A pawn Michael Newton will quickly rid himself of, when you're no longer needed."

I saw the burning look my sister must have witnessed many times before from Michael. I thought of all the times this man had beaten her. He wished he could do the same to me. I wished he would take even one move towards me. I might not be strong enough to fight him physically, but I would love nothing more than to use the gun in my hand for good.

"No…No…" Sam whispered again and again.

My eyes lost their focus, and I looked back to Sam, as he stood there, crippled by all the puzzle pieces magically falling into place. His body shook, weakened from the truth.

Sam looked up to Michael, and I used that second to take a small, slight step to the right, so he would have a straight shot.

"Arrest him!" Sam roared.

The soldiers stepped forward, but they didn't advance on Michael. Instead, they grabbed Sam. My hand quickly raised, ready to shoot, but the surprise of the events had caught me ill-prepared, and I was not quick enough.

A soldier easily disarmed me and took my gun.

I looked to Michael, and I was met with a nasty gleam in his eye. He walked forward, only to stop within an inch of my face.

"She's right, Sam. You were nothing more than a pawn. A pawn I no longer have any use for."

"You son of a bitch! I'll kill you!" Sam thrashed wildly, but he couldn't get out of the stronghold he was in.

"Oh, stop. As I told your silly wife, your threats are laughable." Michael looked at the soldiers who followed his command. "Take him to the stage."

Sam was yelling threats, but they fell on deaf ears, as he was taken out of the room. Michael turned back to me with an evil smile.

I lifted my head up defiantly and said, "I'm not afraid of you."

His hand roughly grabbed my face, and he squeezed my cheeks with his thumb and forefinger.

"It's a shame I married your sister. You would've been far more fun to play with, if you hadn't been so disgusting to look at."

He let go of my face and smacked me hard.

"Don't worry, Isabella, you'll soon be with Edward. Now, go!" he pointed towards the door, "And please, do give me more reason to make your last moments on earth…painful ones."

I turned, and he followed me out the door. I told myself to stay strong. I yelled at myself not to cry, but with every step I took, I knew I was headed toward my death.

Michael pushed me along and enjoyed punching me in the back for delaying the inevitable. We went down the three flights to the ground floor, and the minute we were out of the building, I looked up at the sky and took a second to appreciate it one last time.

When my eyes finally moved down to look in front of me, I could see him.

Edward.

In the distance, I saw the stage, and there was Edward, who appeared to have some type of metal cage over his face and a rope around his neck.

Sam was being rigged up beside him, as they prepared the rope that would go around his neck.

There was a large crowd, but they were not cheering or chattering. They were silent. You could hear a pin drop in that arena, that was how quiet it was.

I approached, and my eyes never left Edward. The contraption on his face wouldn't allow him to speak, but he didn't need to. I saw everything he wanted to say in his eyes. He wasn't angry anymore. He was heartbroken.

I took my place in the middle and looked out over the crowd. I wanted to tell Edward I loved him, but he knew I did.

_One. Two…_

* * *

**AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you for your patience. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Hoping I will be back in a week with the last chapter.**

**Thank you to Fran and Dollybigmomma for editing and getting this back so fast so I could get it to you!**

**STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS ARE STEPHENIE MEYER.**


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

**The Beginning**

I had been raised to know God. My mother had used God as a way to keep me in line. I feared him. For every malicious action, there would be consequences. God would damn me if I lied. Damn me if I had premarital sex. Damn me for any sin committed.

I would send silent prayers, asking for forgiveness, in fear for my soul if I didn't. But where was God? Where was he now?

In the past few months, there had been many close calls. Was God the reason we had prevailed? How could that be, if His plan would lead me to die next to the man I loved? And allow for someone so horrible to get away with murder?

With a taut rope around my neck, I thought, this should be the moment when a person would ask for forgiveness, so he or she might enter the Kingdom. I should beg God for mercy, but I couldn't. I was too angry. I didn't care if I entered any kingdom.

Michael walked down the line with his nasty grin, and he stopped in front of me and asked, "Any last words?"

It was a challenge. He wanted me to say something that would give him the right to hurt me one last time.

"You'll burn in hell for all the blood on your hands. I'd be only too happy to join you, so I may witness it for myself."

I took the bait.

He grabbed me by the hair and pulled roughly. I heard Edward thrashing beside me, growling unintelligibly through the device on his head.

"Michael Newton. Let her go."

My heart stopped, and the audience all turned their heads to look toward the voice. Michael let go, but only because he, too, was stunned.

He stepped out of my way, and I could see who was speaking.

It was Benjamin. The very same man who had once worked under Sam. The slight man who had moved out to the woods to forage for food for his family and had left the Resistance behind.

I shook my head involuntarily. I knew Benjamin was no match for what we were up against.

"Wittle Benjamin Cheney," Michael mocked. "Are you back to face your punishment for deserting your post?"

"You and your men are under arrest."

Michael laughed, and I had to admit, I wished I could join him. What was Benjamin thinking, coming here and taking on this new Resistance and Michael Newton? Even if he managed to find enough soldiers for his plan, it wouldn't be enough. Michael had a home-court advantage.

"You think you can take me all by yourself? Arrest him," Michael said lazily towards one of his followers.

"That's just it. I'm not by myself."

He looked towards his left, and immediately, the east entrance of the square filled with men dressed in similar attire and carrying guns. On the west side, another group came filing in, and I recognized another face I'd never thought I would see again.

"Jasper," I whispered.

Jasper slowly advanced toward the stage. I saw Michael's assured face falter, as he took a slight step backward towards Sam.

"Surrender yourself, Michael Newton. We will not warn you again," Jasper ordered.

Michael's feet moved another step back, as he came to the realization that he no longer had the manpower to overthrow both companies.

He looked scared. His jaw was tense, as his eyes darted around the plaza. Finally, they came to rest on me. He knew he could not win, but that didn't mean he couldn't try to take me down one last time.

He pulled a device from out of his pocket and held it up.

"Always have a Plan B," he said, glaring at me. His finger hit the small button, and a loud explosion blew out all the windows from the Governor's residence.

St. Dismas Square erupted into a chaotic mess, as people were screaming and running for their lives. But the explosions didn't cease with the Governor's residence. They continued throughout the square like dominos falling.

One after another.

Jasper jumped on stage and moved to free me. He cut the rope down quickly, and I pulled it off my neck. He moved on swiftly toward Edward, and while Jasper took the time to free Edward from the contraption on his head, I moved towards Sam and tried to free him from his rope, but he pushed his body away from me.

"Don't. Leave me," he said. His eyes begged me to listen to his orders.

The whole square was crumbling around us, and we would be lucky to have even a minute to escape, before the buildings collapsed on top of us.

I looked him in the eye, wondering if I should grant his final wish.

"Please, Bella. Go," he whispered.

Edward's hand on my wrist broke me out of my contemplation. We only had time for a quick embrace, before we ran hand in hand towards the steps of the stage, leaving Sam Uley behind to die.

The people were desperately trying to get out of the square, but the entrances were small and blocked by rubble.

"Come on! Move it! Get out of here!" I heard a voice shouting up ahead, and I squeezed Edward's hand, knowing who it belonged to.

"Emmett!" I yelled.

Emmett jumped down from the table he was standing on to help usher people to safety, and with Edward's help, they pushed their way through, keeping me safe from the falling debris.

In all the pandemonium, I had nearly forgotten about Michael. I instantly stopped, and Emmett and Edward slammed to a halt.

"Come on!" Emmett yelled.

"Michael!" I growled to get his attention.

Edward grabbed my hand harder. "No. Not now. We have to get out of here! The whole damn place is coming down!"

I knew he was right, but my blood burned knowing Michael would escape. I wanted justice. Everything we had been put through was because of him. I wanted to know he would get his justice due.

I didn't want to listen to Edward, as I thought about all the people who had died because of this war. People I had personally witnessed die, all because of Michael Newton.

Amidst all the chaos, Edward looked me in the eye and whispered a plea that was so hard to hear, he might as well have stayed silent.

There were no more images of Carlisle, my sister, or my broken father that I saw before me. Instead, I saw my child in his eyes, and as much as I would have loved to be sure Michael Newton was dealt with, now was my time to put vengeance behind me for the sake of my family.

I nodded, and we pushed along with the crowds, trying to flee the horrifying conditions of the square. How many people had died here today? But even with Michael being able to escape with his brilliant "Plan B," I knew this war was finally coming to an end.

The farther we got away from the wreckage of what had once been the main square, we began to feel the crowd thin. There were people sitting on the sides of the road, using the curbs to rest, as they applied bandages to various wounds.

I saw women crying in the arms of their loved ones. Parents were holding the bodies of their injured children, while the soldiers from Jasper's company and the former Resistance tried to steer people in the right direction.

I was amazed at how quickly they had set up areas to take in the wounded. Benjamin stood off to one side and was speaking with Jasper, which was where we headed.

"Thank God, you made it out," Jasper said upon seeing us.

I looked at the pair and was still confused as to what had transpired in order to allow this partnership to ensue.

"How are you both…?" I held up a pointed finger. "I…I…"

"Why don't you sit, Bella," Jasper advised.

"I'm fine. I'm just…confused. How did you both manage this?"

Jasper looked over to Benjamin. "There's a lot to be discussed, but first, we need to tend to the people. Once we can assess the area and know it's safe to go back into the square, we'll need to pull out survivors and get them to the hospital," Benjamin explained. He looked to Edward and Emmett and asked, "Can I count on you two for help?"

They agreed, and I had to admit, I felt a little put out that he'd asked Emmett and Edward, but not me.

"Bella, stop it," Edward remarked.

Jasper and Benjamin got back to their duties, but I guessed my face displayed everything I was thinking.

"They're only asking us, because there'll be heavy boulders to lift. Don't take this as a chauvinist thing. There are plenty of areas where you can be useful. Look around, Bella. It's over."

He put his arm around me. The sight before us was grim, but no one else would die for this cause, and that put a shine on it all.

After the bomb technicians were able to go in and assess the area, they came out and let us know there were no more incendiary devices. Edward and Emmett followed along after all the soldiers, as well as every other able-bodied man, to see if they could find the hurt or deceased and bring them out.

I helped man the aid area, right next to the only open entrance left. I wanted to see every single person as they were brought out. My hopes of seeing Michael Newton among them were twisted, but I couldn't help myself. I would feel better about everything, if I knew he hadn't survived.

The men worked well into the early morning hours. Body after body was brought out, and the dead were placed on the ground to the side. Sam was there, but my hopes to see Michael join him dwindled, as the bodies emerging became fewer. The last person was unearthed, just as the sun was coming up. Michael Newton was not among the living or the dead.

Overwhelmed by my disappointment and exhaustion, I moved away from the tent and tried to find a small corner in which to hide.

My back slid down a wall. As my bottom rested on the ground, my hands covered my face for the tears I prayed no one would see.

"Bella! Bella!"

Edward was yelling for me. I was sure my absence was worrying, but it took me a minute to gather myself before I could face him.

By the time I made it out from my hiding place, Jasper and Emmett had begun calling out for me as well.

"I'm right here. No need to wake everyone with your shouts," I huffed.

"Where did you go? We didn't find Michael. He's still out there. He could hurt you…"

"Well, then, I say, I hope he tries. Then, maybe, I'd have one last opportunity to take him down!" I snapped.

Jasper stepped up and held his hands out to calm Edward and me. "We're all tired. Let's get some sleep, and then…" Jasper began to say.

"No! I want to know what the hell is going on! How did you come to know Benjamin…to work with him? How are you here? Is my son alive? Did everyone make it out safely? Alice, Esme? How did you manage to get back…?"

"Okay!" Jasper barked. "I'll answer all your questions. But not here. I have a room nearby. We'll go there."

We followed Jasper the few blocks to his "room." I didn't know why, but I was expecting he meant a hotel room. However, he showed us to an abandoned factory, where he had a small room that looked to have been an office at one time. There was a sleeping bag in the corner, with a small table and a few chairs. Jasper's men were still out at the site, but from the looks of it, they stayed here as well.

Jasper pulled his communication device off and set it down on the table. I took a seat, and Edward pulled up the other open chair. Emmett leaned against the wall, while we waited for our answers.

"Your son and everyone made it to the island your parents owned," Jasper said to Edward.

I was more relieved than I thought I would be. A part of me always believed they were okay, because I couldn't have done what I needed to had I been worried that something had happened. Hearing the confirmation set my heart back to a normal rate.

"Benjamin reached out to us a few weeks ago. He knew Sam was being controlled by Newton. When he worked with Sam, he tried to get Sam to see Michael couldn't be trusted, but Sam wouldn't listen.

"The conditions here were getting worse, and the people were starving. Benjamin managed to get a few of his friends to come over to his side, and as the weeks went on, more and more soldiers were abandoning the original Resistance plan and moving over to side with Benjamin.

"However, he knew with all the ammunition Sam and Michael had, they couldn't obtain control without help. So…he reached out to us, and I told my father I'd take only a few units with me, in case it turned out to be a trap.

"We've been waiting to make a move, but Sam and Michael have been smart and not come out of the residence. They knew things are bad, and as long as they stayed in their hidey-hole, they couldn't be touched. We couldn't risk infiltrating their residence, because we knew Michael would've done everything he could to keep it impenetrable."

My mind, as tired as it was, wouldn't shut off. I wanted to believe it was over, but was it? Thankfully, Emmett had the good sense to ask a question I would have liked to ask, if I'd had half a brain to do so.

"So, now what? The war is over? The Resistance will…just cease?"

"Benjamin, my father, and a few other key people are meeting tomorrow to begin negotiations," Jasper explained.

"Negotiations?" I asked.

The word sounded foreign. This must be the exhaustion taking over. Of course, there would have to be negotiations for all the Resistance to be willing to lay down their arms. The war might have been over, but we were far from finished with reconciling the country.

Jasper set us up with a couple of cots so we could rest. I wanted to go to sleep, but my brain wouldn't stop. I thought about Edward. Not my fiancé, Edward, but Edward, my son. For the first time, I could imagine seeing him again. A part of me always wondered if that would be possible, but now, it seemed our reunion was in the foreseeable future.

I wanted to ask Jasper how quickly they could get us to the island where everyone was, but it was clear the next morning that we were expected to be at the negotiation conference. I guessed I was a little surprised that we would be included. These kinds of things were far too important for someone like me to witness.

Not only were we invited, but we were also given seats at the round table. I recognized Jasper's father, dressed to the nines in his military uniform. Jasper's uniform wasn't nearly as fancy as his father's, which had shiny buttons and crisp corners.

Benjamin spoke first once everyone was seated. The room was filled to capacity…not even a spot to stand was available.

"Let's begin. For decades, this country has been run on a system that benefits only a small percentage of the people. We've agreed to come here today after witnessing a horrific period in our history, with the hope that we can do better for all our people. Is there anyone here who'd disagree that our system needs…revision?"

My eyes scanned the room, but no one said a word.

"Good, then we should begin. First, in order for this to work, we, the Resistance, will agree to cease all combat actions. The Resistance is being called back in accordance with an agreement that the rest of our country will cease certain government practices. Every governor will be suspended until such a time that we can all approve who will replace them in their positions."

Jasper's father cleared his throat and said, "And just how are we to decide on who'll replace these individuals?"

"We can come to a decision, but in order for all the people to feel they're fairly represented, I personally believe we should have a fair mixture of lessers and diamonds…"

"They're not many diamond men left after what the Resistance did," he spat.

I scoffed loudly, and everyone looked at me.

"Not _what_ they did," I spoke up, unable to control myself. "Sam only ordered the killing of all those men, because Michael Newton manipulated him to do so. One of your own…diamonds is the reason they're dead."

Jasper's father narrowed his eyes and argued, "that could be hearsay."

"From the lips of my condemned sister she confessed to what she witnessed her husband do," I growled.

"Let's calm ourselves," Benjamin warned.

My hands rubbed my temples, and I stood up, irritated.

"Why am I here?" I snapped. "This is…this is…"

I couldn't continue, because I was too frustrated.

Benjamin looked confused. "You're here because…you deserve to be…after everything you did…"

"What do you mean? What did I do? Break into a couple of white wards and rescued a few men?" I said, gesturing to Edward and Emmett. "I wanted Michael Newton to be punished, and now he's gone. This country…it'll take years to fix it; to change it into what it needs to become."

Benjamin slowly stood. "Which is why we want you to be here. You've done more than just help a few individuals escape. You were the reason I decided to come back and fight. I know your mission was to make it across the border to safety, but instead, at your own personal risk, you came here in hopes you could reach Sam and talk sense into him. You were able to get Sam and Michael out into the open. You've been asked here today because...this government could use a voice like yours."

Jasper added, "A person who could represent both the lessers and the diamonds. A person who could...govern a territory."

My brow furrowed, as I processed what they were saying. They wanted me to govern?

A memory popped into my head of Edward and me having this very discussion so long ago, and I wondered if it was a dream. He had once asked me what I would do if a woman was allowed to govern, and I refused to answer, believing it wasn't a possibility. This was what I had wanted. This was a dream come true.

However…

"A few months ago, I dreamed of a world where someone like me could have a voice. Be considered. When I was pregnant, I was terrified the baby I carried would be a girl, because I knew that, in the eyes of our society, she'd be unimportant. Unimportant as I was raised to believe I was. It warms my heart that you'd extend me this honor. But I'm afraid it's an honor I cannot accept."

I paused, stopping from giving my reason just yet. First, while I had their attention, there were a few issues I wanted to get off my chest.

"The white wards should be disbanded immediately, and the inmates rescued. Turn the places into rehabilitation centers. No matter the crime, the people who are imprisoned have paid their dues, and then some. Anyone who disagrees with me should go and spend a week in one, and then see how you feel.

"Secondly, it's not enough to just have the rich and poor well represented. You should seek a governor who can give a voice to men and women, equally. All races should be represented as well. If you really want to go forward and find a way to make this country...decent, then you should learn from the past. Not cover it up. There's a man in the woods a few miles away from the train stop in Krai. His name is Boyce, and he's a wealth of knowledge on how the past government systems operated, and how they failed. You should seek him out and learn from him.

"And last…" I looked to Ben, "Stop calling yourselves lessers. If you want the people to believe this is a new dawn, get rid of the derogatory term. It'll only hurt your campaign and remind everyone of a world where they were thought of as less than."

I pushed my chair out and took a step back. "I need to arrange transportation. There's someone who can't go another day without me. He's the reason I can't stay here, even if it'd be a dream come true. It's time for me to think of another…and not just myself."

Edward stood up, too, and prepared to follow me out. Emmett followed Edward. Once we were out of the room, I breathed a huge sigh, as I felt this enormous weight come off my shoulders.

I was going home.

"Bella, are you sure about this?" Edward asked.

I nodded. "It could take them years to get this country to where it needs to be. I can't have our son living in this uncertainty. I trust Benjamin and Jasper. I know they'll do what they can to help the people. This just isn't my fight anymore."

Jasper had a plane ready for us the next day to fly down to South America. We would need to take a boat to get to the island.

They shut down the labor camps the day negotiations began. My father had died three days before. The very same day I had been set to be executed. I couldn't help but wonder if God had replaced one Swan with another.

As the plane took off and flew over the land, I looked down, knowing it would be the last time I would ever lay eyes on this country. The country that had taken nearly everything from me.

Emmett, Edward and I got on a small boat, whose captain promised us we would be arriving at our destination within a few short hours.

I had been away from my son for nearly seven months. I tried to picture what he must look like, but all I kept seeing was how he had looked the last time I had seen him.

Edward walked up and took my hand, as we finally approached the island. My stomach was full of butterflies for what we would find.

Jasper had said the island wasn't equipped with a signal, so the only way he had been able to communicate with Alice was through a mailbox on the mainland, which Alice or Esme would frequent once a month. Meaning, there was no way to let them know of our impending arrival.

Edward helped me down from the boat, and my shoes filled with water, as I splashed onto the beach. I looked over to Emmett, who seemed to be having a fine time in the water, but then he stopped, as he looked around for the house, and I could tell that he, too, was nervous.

The three of us walked along the beach in silence, carrying the small packs that had seen us through the last seven months, not even bothering to ask Edward how much further we had to go.

We came around a bend, and there was the house up ahead. A long, white, one-story home with many windows.

It was beautiful.

We drew closer, and my feet stopped, when my eyes caught sight of Alice sitting on a chair under an umbrella. Nearby, a small child was sitting on a towel, playing with a few blocks.

Edward also slowed down, and his hand tightened around mine.

"Bella," he whispered.

I couldn't form a word, as I took in the sight. Alice looked up, and we were close enough to see the shock register on her face at the sight of us.

"Oh my! Oh my!" she began screaming. "Esme! Rosalie!"

Alice jumped from her chair and grabbed Edward and began running towards us. Our legs unfroze, and soon, we were quickly heading towards her.

Rosalie slammed open the screen door and nearly fell off the step, when she saw what the commotion was about. She, too, began to run, screaming as she went. Emmett dropped his packs and collided with her first, before we could make it to our son.

There were many tears falling down Alice's face. Rosalie's face. Emmett's face, and even Edward's.

I pulled my once small bundle of joy into my arms, and I just couldn't believe how much he had grown. Esme nearly pounced on Edward, when she finally made it to us.

I handed off the baby to Edward, so he could meet his son, and Alice and Esme took their turns hugging me. When I pulled apart from them, Rosalie let go of Emmett and walked towards me. Her body was shuddering, as she attempted to control her emotions.

"Thank you, Bella. I can never repay you," she sniffled.

I looked at Emmett and replied, "I'm pretty sure Emmett repaid that debt ten times over."

Rosalie grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to look at her. "No, Bella," she sobbed. "You've given me back my future."

She crushed me to her chest with a hug that was so tight, I knew I would have bruises.

"She gave us all back our future," Edward added.

It was a perfect moment. The kind that people would cry over, but I didn't have one tear to shed that day. All the times I had hated my tears, because I had felt they made me weak, and after everything I had been through, it seemed as if this would be the price to pay.

They never found Michael Newton. It bothered more than I should have let it. Emmett told me it was justice, because, for the rest of Michael Newton's life, he would be forced to endure what we had. He would always be on the run…looking over his shoulder, wondering if he was going to be caught. Feeling as if he could never make it to safety.

They all wanted to know what had happened, but it was a story I could never bring myself to tell. Edward did his best, along with Emmett, to give them a version.

I couldn't sit around, talking about the months of pain and fear I had endured. It was something that would stay with me for the rest of my life. Flashes would go through my head every single day, reminding me of what I had seen, and what I had lost.

The only days I found I wasn't plagued with images were on truly happy days. The day Edward and I married. The day I had my second son. Those days were far too precious, and God would give me a reprieve.

I never returned to the country I had once called my home. Alice eventually did return to be by Jasper's side, as he took governorship of the southern states. She and Jasper would come every Christmas with their four children to visit. Some years, we were lucky to see them twice.

Emmett and Rosalie moved back to the south as well. We would receive cards from them, but after they returned, we never saw them again. However, Rosalie...crazy Rosalie, she named her first daughter after me. I didn't know how that made me feel. I guessed, if it made her feel that she had done right by me, it was just fine with me.

Esme stayed with us, and you could never find a happier house. When I would see her smile, it felt as if Carlisle was looking down and proud that we had helped with putting it back on her face, after she had lost the man she loved.

And Edward...well, we did have our fair share of fights. Sometimes, I think we fought because we found how exciting disagreeing could be, when we were able to come together at night in accord.

For a while, I felt guilty whenever I looked at my first son…wondering if my leaving would eventually give him a complex. But then, I would remind myself of where Edward would be if I hadn't gone ...if I hadn't left my baby.

I used to believe what they said about me.

I would never be pretty.

I would never marry.

I would never be important.

But now, I knew I had used their words as an excuse.

I was not a loser.

I was not a lesser.

I was Isabella Swan. The _girl _who had brought a war to its knees.

**-The End-**

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**AN: I cannot begin to express my gratitude for following this through to the end with me. This was so not how I first imagined this story but it became something I am insanely proud of. I appreciated all the reviews and encouragement I received from my friends on Facebook.**

**This would not be what it is without the help of two amazing women. Fran and Dollybigmomma were instrumental in helping with editing. I was incredibly blessed by their help and wish I could convey how thankful I am for sharing their time and talents.**

**Currently, I am working on something a little less intense. I hope to begin posting in the new year. Below is a summary.**

**TROOP 1920**

**Bella fled her small town and the kids that bullied her the moment she graduated high school. After moving to California, she has become a completely different person. When she gets fired and is unable to afford living in the state, Bella must move back home with her eight-year daughter and face the demons from her past. Her daughter wants to join the local Wilderness Troop but is turned away for being a girl so Bella advocates for her daughter and wins. However, she didn't know that the Troop would be headed up by her biggest demon of all, Edward Cullen, the boy who made her life a living hell. The hardest struggle will be for Bella to realize that Edward just might not be the person he once was.**


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